Bitter Memories
by Judy1998
Summary: When Edward left and Jacob imprinted, Bella's life became cursed with bitter immortality. She encounters the tragedy of a human family and finds a new purpose in her life by taking care of Renesmee. When she bumps into the Cullens once more, she refuses to associate with them as long as she was responsible for Renesmee. But how can she ignore them...when they love her too?
1. Chapter 1: Bitter

**Author's Note: Hi, everyone! This is a new vampire story that I'm starting. Probably not a good idea, seeing as how I'm not even halfway done with **_**Gardenia**_** and the workload I'm getting at school, but I really think this story has an interesting story line that I'd like to share with all of you. It might start out a bit slow in the beginning, but please be patient and the story will soon warm up to the conflict. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**Prologue**

**Bella's Point of View**

Time passes. Memories live on with you. And with every second that ticks by, you realize that it's easy to take something precious for granted.

It was different for me. There was only one thing I ever wanted from the moment I saw those five glorious figures sitting all the way across the cafeteria. I didn't know them, and they didn't know me. But somehow, I already knew, deep inside my soul.

I wanted him.

He was to be my world. My life. My everything.

And he took away everything when he left. To promise me something so impossible... How could he possibly think that I could move on happily? Even if I did move on, it wouldn't be a very happy process. I suppose humans did have the capabilities to move on from a phase of their lives, like he'd said.

But did that mean I had to be happy?

I've lived the life I'm living now. I've been there. I've tried. I've failed. The answer is no.

I could never forget the start of those bitter memories. It was a domino effect...and _he_ tipped over the very first domino when he decided that he couldn't stay away from me. Happy memories are what made up bitter memories...because happiness and negativity are always packaged together.

And that's how I felt. From the moment he left until the moment I will die.

Bitter.

**Chapter 1**

I gazed out at the front yard of Emily's cozy little house, relishing those days when I actually had a life. What I didn't quite understand was whether my life ended when he left...or when I first saw him in that cafeteria.

I shivered when I thought I saw a pair of red eyes peering out at me from the forest that faced me. It was getting dark, around seven o'clock, and the wind was blowing harder than it had been in the afternoon. It was starting to drizzle lightly.

I closed my eyes when I heard a series of howls fill the air from the deep forest. The pack would be here soon. They must be almost finished with their daily rounds through the forest, searching for more danger. I felt apologetic to all those huge Quileute boys that had one more person to take care of besides their tribe and loved ones. A clumsy outsider, the girl who had played with vampires.

I was startled when I felt a sudden warmth against my cold left cheek. I looked up and saw Emily smiling at me, two cups of warm tea in her hands. She had pressed one of the cups against my skin to catch my attention.

I smiled and reached up to take the cup from her. "Thanks, Emily."

She nodded and joined me on her porch, sitting in the second chair beside mine. "The boys should be home soon."

I didn't respond. I took a small sip of the tea and closed my eyes as I swallowed, welcoming the warmth that flowed through my cold body. I usually always had my personal space heater around me, but once a day, he was required to go run out with the other wolves of the pack. He should be back soon...

He was the reason I was able to cope more easily these days. I'd accepted his offer of companionship, agreeing to date him. He and I both knew that I was using him for my own survival, but he didn't care and I knew I still loved him. I loved him in my own way, and that love was growing. I knew this for sure.

"Is anything worrying you, Bella?" Emily asked suddenly, interrupting the comfortable silence that had filled between us.

I looked at her, wondering why she would ask such a thing. "No."

She frowned slightly as she stared into the dark, swaying trees. "I was just thinking...you seemed really preoccupied lately. Like...you're trying to solve a hundred math problems all at once."

I laughed once at her analogy. "I suppose I _was_ a bit preoccupied," I admitted. "Just thinking this and that."

Emily studied me carefully. Her piercing eyes were alert as she watched my every movement. Her heavily scarred face represented her bravery and beauty, and despite her permanently ruined face, she was still loved because she had someone to love her. I envied this of her – Sam would never have to leave her. She would be loved wholeheartedly until the day she died.

No one had to pretend for me. I knew as well. Jacob and I may be dating, and we might love each other. But I shared everyone's concerns, including Jacob's: He had never imprinted on me. Imprinting was something that happened when you looked at someone for the first time after the transformation. And yet, nothing had happened between us.

Sam always insisted that imprinting was rare – most wolves never found their other half. But Jared had imprinted on Kim, and Paul had imprinted on Jacob's sister, Rachel. It did seem a lot more common within the pack...and his persistent speeches on the subject didn't reassure me. I knew that someday, there was a possibility that Jacob would have to leave me for his true half.

And I would be hurt again.

I hoped desperately that he would never imprint. It was a selfish thought, and I only wanted this for fear I would not be able to function anymore. But I didn't know how I could live on if Jacob, too, were to leave me.

"What's there to worry about?" Emily wondered. "The boys took care of Victoria when she returned, didn't she? She's never coming back for you again. You're safe, Bella."

I nodded. "I know."

She sighed. "You're so mysterious, Bella. You remind me so much of Leah. You hardly ever speak, you hide your true thoughts..." She tapped her cup, making bell-like sounds that echoed through the lonely atmosphere.

She was waiting, but I had nothing to give her. She seemed to realize this, and she changed the subject.

"How's Charlie doing?" she asked. She chuckled. "Soon, you and I will be true cousins. When is the wedding?"

My lips twitched at the thought of a frantic, panicking Charlie that was being dragged everywhere by an efficient Sue Clearwater to prepare for their remarriage. They had grown close after Harry Clearwater's death, and sympathy had grown into love. And I was about to gain two new siblings, two members of the wolf pack.

Leah was as difficult as ever. She had no objections to Charlie and Sue's remarriage, thankfully. She wouldn't admit it, but I knew that she was glad her mother was happy. She acted distant from me and hardly spent time at Emily's, since Sam was around. I didn't mind her attitude toward me. She and I seemed to have come to a mutual agreement to give each other space, since we both needed it.

Seth was a different story. He was bright and cheerful. He reminded me of a younger Jacob, and he made me feel relieved and relaxed. If Jacob wasn't around, I had a backup space heater. He was a total one-eighty from his sister, adoring his new stepfather-to-be and always making sure that I wasn't bored.

"Next Saturday," I answered, shifting slightly in my seat. "I think the wedding invitations have been sent out today, actually."

She smiled. "I think it's wonderful. Both Charlie and Sue have been lonely for a long time now. It's great that they've found each other."

I nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. Just because my life had taken a drastic turn didn't mean Charlie had to follow my footsteps. He worried about me, but he had his own path to take. I was glad it was Sue that was remarrying my father. She was a great cook and responsible with everything. She would be perfect for Charlie.

The only thing that had worried me about the union was the tribe secret. Would Charlie be left out of the loop? I needn't have worried, because Billy Black and Sue told him everything there was to know about werewolves...and the cold ones. Which meant my father found out about the Cullens being vampires. I got hell from him when he found out that I'd known the entire time I was dating _him_.

But Charlie wasn't one to linger. He accepted the whole thing rather gracefully when he saw real proof of Jacob and Leah phasing in front of him. He swore to keep everything a secret, since I'd also told him about the one rule for vampires.

Emily hesitated. "Have you seen Leah lately?"

She was always hesitant when she brought up the subject of her cousin. She always felt apologetic to the girl, even though the imprinting wasn't Sam or Emily's fault.

I shook my head. "We kind of..." I searched for the right words. "...give each other space."

She looked disappointed. "I don't know if she even knows when the wedding is."

"I'm sure Seth will tell her."

She laughed, shaking her head. "If he even remembers himself. Speak of the devil, here he comes now."

We both watched as a sandy-colored wolf trotted out of the woods. He paused, and then, his tongue rolled out, like he was grinning. His tail wagged like a friendly dog. His gestures made us laugh before he disappeared again.

A few minutes later, he reappeared wearing his clothes, laughing with the rest of the pack. Jacob waved and I smiled back, welcoming all of them home.

"Hey, Emily," Embry said as he leaped onto the porch lightly. "Bella." He winked before disappearing inside. We heard him head for the kitchen, then call out, "Hey! Muffins and a seven-layer dip! Thanks, Em!"

"Don't you dare eat it all!" Quil threatened. "Hi, Emily, Bella." He, too, disappeared inside.

Everyone else filed inside, and Sam lingered to kiss Emily. I looked away because it reminded me of the way I'd acted with _him_. Jacob smiled as he approached me.

"Sorry we're late," he said. "They were being kids. As usual," he added, raising his voice.

"Shut up!" Paul called back, his voice muffled by the food.

"Come on, girls, it's cold outside," Sam said. He and Emily disappeared inside, and I rose slowly to follow Jacob.

The food was half gone already. Jacob whacked the last chocolate muffin out of Seth's greedy hands and took a big bite of it. I declined Emily's offer of a muffin and sat on a stool, watching them all munch happily.

Within ten minutes, they'd scoured the plates clean. I smiled when they all burped at the same time.

"Thanks, Emily," Embry said, sounding satisfied. "Your cooking is the best, as usual."

"I don't know how you do that every day," I said, amused. "I don't think any of you will be able to survive without Emily."

Emily smiled fondly at the boys as she started the dishes. "It's really nothing."

"So, Bella," Sam said. "When's the wedding?"

"You bet we're all going to be there!" Jared said, grinning.

I smiled gratefully. "Next Saturday." I paused, not missing the fact that Leah was not present. "Be sure to tell Leah, Seth."

"You bet!"

I rose from my seat. "I should leave now. Bye, everyone."

"I'll take you home," Jacob said, rising, but I shook my head.

"I'll go alone," I said, shooting him an apologetic look. He understood my need to be alone, and he nodded.

"See you later, Bella!" the boys chorused as I waved and left the house.

I drove my truck slowly back to Forks, wondering how imprinting worked. If the process was possible with vampires, would he not have left?

_If only you could see me now_, I thought, smiling bitterly. _I'm doing as you asked. I'm keeping myself safe, and I'm trying to move on. But do you see what you've done to me? I live in fear of heartbreak again, and it's almost unbearable._

Almost.

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**AN: Hope you enjoyed the very first chapter! It might be a bit confusing, since this is picking off from somewhere in New Moon. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me, or review, even. I'll be happy to answer any questions to clarify anything, but don't ask me to spoil the rest of the story for you. Heh. **

**Also, you might not be very familiar with the idea of Charlie knowing everything supernatural that's going on. He needed to be aware of it in this story for a reason. It'll all become clearer later. Thanks for understanding.**

**Now! Reviews! I know the first chapter isn't much, but I want to know what you're thinking! Leave me nice, long, sweet reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2: Imprinting

**Author's Note: Hi, everyone! I was really happy with the response the first chapter got! Not as many people reviewed as much as I would've liked, but I felt reassured that I was going in the right direction. **

**And special thanks to **_**xXDayJuneXx**_**, who wrote me an extra-extra long review, explaining everything that she liked about my stories and writing style. She's a very loyal fan of mine, and I'm very thankful to have someone like her supporting me. And I'm thankful to the rest of you too. Thanks for favoriting and following, though, and especially to those of you who are following every one of my stories. **

**I'll stop rambling now, and let you get on with the story. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 2**

Balloons and sashes hung everywhere. There were confetti in the air as the newlyweds came down the aisle, grinning widely and happily. People were cheering as everyone filed outside for the reception.

I hung back, not wanting to get trampled by the crowd. It was nice, seeing Charlie smile like that for the first time in a long while. To think that I'd been worrying him constantly about my condition... What kind of daughter was I?

Jacob had gone ahead of me to congratulate the couple with the rest of the wolf pack. I watched as the last of the guests went outside, then rose from my chair. I was approaching the double doors when I heard a slight scrape of chair behind me. I turned.

Leah was struggling to untangle her flowing dress from a chair without ruining it. The threads of the hem had caught on the folding chair, and she looked incredibly frustrated. She sighed as she straightened, brushing her short hair away from her eyes. She blinked when she saw me.

"Do you need some help?" I asked. I made my way toward her, taking care not to trip over my own long dress.

"Um." She sounded awkward. "I guess."

I leaned over the chair and worked on loosening the thread. She stood awkwardly in front of me until I straightened, her dress finally free.

She cleared her throat. "Thanks." She was looking anywhere but at me.

I merely shrugged before walking away, heading outside. I could hear her following some distance away. I reached the refreshments table and picked up a glass of water, then looked around. I knew that I should go congratulate the couple, but the huge crowd in which they were surrounded with didn't particularly appeal to me.

"Bella!"

I knew that voice anywhere. I turned to see Renee grinning widely as she tackled me into a huge hug. "Hi, Mom."

"Hi, sweetie," she sang. "Oh, you look so beautiful – did Sue pick the dress out for you? I like the blue, it goes well with your pale skin." She withdrew, then carefully cupped my face. "You look better than when I saw you before."

She had come to take me to Florida when I had been in a bad state. I'd thrown a tantrum, insisting that I was going to stay in Forks and that she couldn't make me leave. I felt embarrassed at the memory and hoped that she wouldn't mention what had made me like this in the first place.

"Have you congratulated Charlie and Sue yet?" I asked quickly.

"Of course, darling," Renee said, sniffing. "You know me. I swam my way through the crowd and made sure they both saw my face before coming to track you down."

I laughed. "Of course you did. It's great to see you, Mom."

She smiled. "Phil couldn't be here. He really wanted to see you, but he has a broken leg. He says hi."

"Hi back to him," I told her. I hesitated. "How do you like Sue?"

"Oh, Sue's a doll," Renee gushed immediately. "She'll be perfect for Charlie. I'm so glad he found someone."

I smiled, relieved. She didn't seem sad at all. The only reminder of Charlie and Renee's past relationship was Isabella Marie Swan, and that was it. No bitter memories for them.

"I've gotta go now, honey," she told me, patting my cheek lightly. "I'll call you, okay?"

"I'll drop you off," I offered, wanting to get away from the noise.

But she waved my offer away. "No, no! You're the daughter! Go have fun!" She grinned as she waved, hurrying away. "Bye, sweetheart."

"Bye," I echoed softly as I watched her get into a rental car. I wouldn't be seeing her again for a long time.

I found that the crowd had diminished considerably. I made my way to Charlie and Sue, who were chatting animatedly with Emily and Sam. "Congratulations, Dad, Sue." I smiled when they turned to me. "Be happy."

Charlie surprised me with a hug. He was the type of person who had a hard time expressing his emotions. "Thanks, Bells. I love you."

"I love you too, Dad. Always will."

Sue hugged me too. "Thank you for being here, sweetheart."

I felt a warm arm around my shoulder. "Hey, new sis. Where have you been the entire time?"

I smiled up at Seth, who was only fifteen, yet, much taller than I was. "In the back of the room."

Charlie chuckled. "Avoiding attention. That hasn't changed."

"Jake's looking for you," Seth told me. "Come on. Bye, Charlie. See you later, Mom."

They waved as we left, and Seth led me to a corner, where the huge boys were laughing and talking. They greeted me with a smile, and Jacob took my hand, warming my cold body immediately.

Only ten minutes into the reception, and I was already wishing that I was home and out of this ridiculous dress. The heels were killing me, and I felt extremely awkward. I hadn't been around this many people I didn't know in months. I had a lot of homework that I needed to do at home...

"Hey, there's Leah," Quil said suddenly.

Emily perked up, and Sam looked hopeful too. They were always concerned with Leah's well-being, after all.

"Hey, Leah!" Quil called.

Leah turned around, looking annoyed. She hesitated before walking toward us slowly. She paused, then said stiffly, "Thanks for coming. I guess."

Seth snickered. "Right back at you, sis."

Leah glared at her brother. "Stop being an ass, Seth."

My eyes flickered to a girl that was approaching us. I studied her curiously. She seemed to be familiar with Leah.

"Hi, everyone," the girl said. She had light, red-gold hair, tanned skin, and a few gold-colored freckles across her cheeks. She was smaller than Leah or I, and she had on a white dress.

"This is Lizzie," Leah introduced. "She's a friend of mine."

"You had friends?" Jared muttered, earning a sharp nudge from Sam.

"Lizzie," Sam greeted. "We've met before."

"Right," Lizzie said reluctantly, her eyes flickering from Emily to Sam. She obviously knew about the drama there. Being Leah's friend, she would know about Leah's heartbreak.

Leah introduced everyone, then paused when she came to me. "And...this is Bella."

Lizzie turned her eyes on me. I could see she was wondering how I had become mixed into the group of dark skin of the Quileutes. I avoided her gaze, finding it too piercing. She turned to Leah for an explanation.

Leah, too, seemed to find the situation awkward. "She's...my new stepsister."

"Oh!" Lizzie turned back to me, smiling. "So you're Charlie Swan's daughter. Nice to meet you. Heard a few about you."

I nodded, wondering if Leah had mentioned me in passing. Did she really care at all?

"You go to school on the reservation?" Jared asked. "I've never seen you before."

Lizzie shrugged. "I'm just weird that way. I'm good at avoiding everyone. You know, blending in."

"Where's Kim and Rachel, man?" Seth asked.

"Over there," Jared pointed out, nodding at another corner where the girls were congratulating Charlie and Sue. "They'll be back soon. Oh, look, they're all coming now."

Charlie and Sue approached. "Thanks for being here, everyone," Sue said happily.

There was a lot of, "Nah, don't mention it." Lizzie was introduced as well, and Charlie was thanking her too, when Leah suddenly gasped, "NO!"

Startled, everyone in the group fell silent. She was staring at Jacob as though she was noticing him for the first time tonight. She looked horrified.

Concerned, I glanced up at Jacob, only to see him staring at...Lizzie. Staring, like he'd never seen her before. I understood with a shock: So this is what it was like.

Imprinting.

Lizzie looked bewildered as everyone in the group suddenly looked somber, avoiding my gaze and acting like someone had just died. "What's wrong?"

Charlie's eyebrows furrowed in concern as he, too, understood the weird part of werewolves. He was staring at me worriedly.

Jacob and Lizzie were now bound together. There was no turning back.

And I no longer played a role in his life. I was finally branded as nothing.

"Are you crazy?" Leah shrieked, looking absolutely furious. "_Now_, of all places? Jacob Black, you are the greatest bastard I have _ever_-"

"Leah, that's enough!" Sam ordered, and she fell silent immediately. She glowered at her past lover as though she could kill him, but she dared not disobey the Alpha's orders.

I resisted the urge to throw up. There was a funny feeling in my heart, something I'd always felt before I'd found Jacob in my life. It was getting harder to breathe, and I felt the painful lump in my throat. I repressed my hyperventilation as best as I could as I slowly pried my fingers from his warm hand.

That caught his attention. He looked at me suddenly, looking pained. "Bella..." he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."

I backed away, tears forming in my eyes. I knew that I couldn't blame him. It was a natural thing for him, and I couldn't hold that against him. But I still found myself thinking: _Why are these things only happening to me?_

I gasped for air as I finally let loose. The tears flowed, and I clutched my chest as I turned and walked away quickly, wanting to get away from here. I felt pathetic and used, not the other way around. _I_ had been the one using Edward and Jacob because I couldn't survive alone without them. And yet, everything had backfired on me.

"Bella!" I heard Jacob calling me in vain, his voice pained and regretful.

He had promised me forever, and he had left, taking everything with him.

He had promised to never leave me like _he_ had, and he, too, had left.

Was I destined to live and die alone?

"How can you do that to her?" Leah was saying furiously, her voice fading as I escaped to the more secluded pathways that led me to the road. "You _know_ what it did to me when Sam imprinted on Emily! How dare you..."

I was hyperventilating uncontrollably as I got to my truck and started the ignition. My eyesight was blurring in and out of sight as I drove back home. I could not make any sound, any thought.

I somehow arrived home, and parked sloppily in front of the house. I fumbled for the house key and shoved it in the hole, growing frustrated when it acted stubborn. I turned the key, took it out, and lost my grip as it slipped from my grasp. Thinking I'd pick it up later, I pushed the door open and closed it, locking it before staggering upstairs.

I collapsed next to my bed, burying my face in the sheets. My whole body was shaking from anger and disbelief. Had it really happened? Was Jacob really gone from my life too?

I didn't know how much time had passed. I was counting on the fact that Charlie and Sue would not be back tonight, since they had to catch a flight to Hawaii in a few hours. They were nonrefundable tickets, so they'd have no choice but to leave without waiting to see if I was going to be alright.

But the answer should be quite clear. No, I was not alright. I was never going to be alright again. I was never normal in the first place, always noticing and realizing things no one else had, and entering into the supernatural world of vampires and werewolves. But being betrayed by the ones I'd loved the most was too much to handle.

How could life be so unfair?

I froze when I heard my bedroom door close quietly. I looked up, my face stricken with tears, and stared as I saw Leah approach me cautiously. What was she doing here?

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, kneeling next to me.

I stared at her as renewed tears cascaded down my cheeks. Slowly, I shook my head. Twice. No, I wasn't alright.

Leah looked lost and vulnerable. Her eyes, too, sparkled with tears as she reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. A single tear made its way down her beautiful face.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "If I had known, I would never have brought her. I wouldn't have. I'm so sorry, Bella."

She related to me. She empathized. She'd been there, I was here now. I now knew how much Sam's imprinting on Emily had affected her. How had she endured?

"The beauty of imprinting," she said bitterly. "How beautiful." She laughed humorlessly. "It only hurts people you love, doesn't it?"

I couldn't find a way to answer her. It was like I had forgotten how to speak, but it didn't matter anyway. I could only cry wordlessly, staring at my beautiful new stepsister bitterly.

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**AN: Shocked to see the conflict starting already? Does that hook you in a little more now? Leave me long, sweet reviews, my lovely fans...for I would die without your precious words of comfort and threats.**


	3. Chapter 3: Escape

**Author's Note: Hi, guys! Here's a short Edward's POV in the beginning before the story continues! I hope you're all enjoying the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 3**

**Edward's Point of View**

For me, she was everything. The reason I'd found to live, my purpose in this world. Without her, I couldn't breathe. Knowing she was alive kept me alive.

And yet, knowing this, I had chosen to leave her. It had been for her own well-being – it wasn't healthy for me to monopolize what could have been hers. She deserved to live a happy, human life with someone who could be human with her.

Knowing she was alive barely sustained me. It took all of my willpower to give up and go back to her, ask her to forgive me. I knew that I had hurt her with my words, and that I didn't deserve her. What would she be thinking now?

Would she have moved on? Was she, perhaps, dating someone who was good for her?

The thought made my jaws tighten. My fists balled up, and I resisted the urge to break something. I bowed my head, closing my eyes and remembering her face. Her beautiful features, her bright chocolate eyes...her laugh...

I was in pain. The brightness that had lit my world had gone out, and I was left in the darkness once more.

But if she was happy, that was good enough for me.

**Bella's Point of View**

I ignored all the calls, whether it was on the house phone or Leah's cell phone. I thought it incredibly lucky that I didn't have one myself. I just couldn't bear talking to Jacob so soon, or Charlie and Sue, for that matter. Everything seemed fake; it just couldn't be happening. I needed time to understand what was going on in my life.

I was grateful for Leah's silent presence, however. She was on my side, refusing to talk to any of the pack. She quietly passed on limited information to our parents who were on their honeymoon, worrying about me. I felt guilty for ruining everything, but I really couldn't say that everything was my fault.

I went to school, blank as ever. My friends noticed the return of my dead look again. Angela and Mike expressed sincere concerns, though I brushed them off and escaped as quickly as I could. Jessica and the others were less forgiving.

I would come back home and do my homework in silence. Sometimes, if Leah came over to make sure I ate something, I would put on an act and cook something for the both of us. I ate a couple of bites to throw her off and spent the remaining time pushing the food around my plate. Seth visited every now and then, but it seemed as though he could tell that it pained me to see him as well. He stopped visiting after a while, and asked Leah how I was doing instead.

I would wake up screaming from my renewed nightmares every night. _He_ was there. He would tell me goodbye, then leave me alone in the forest again and again. He left me with the same fear of being alone.

I could tell that Leah was worried about me. _Leah_, of all people. She related to me so strongly that she felt the need to protect me. She snapped at anyone from the pack that called to see how I was doing, and it was obvious that she was blaming Jacob for hurting me in the same way Sam had hurt her. She couldn't forgive him for that.

My condition worsened, and the fact that I was losing weight became painfully obvious. Leah decided that she couldn't trust me anymore and moved into Charlie's house with me. Having already finished high school and with no intention of leaving for college anytime soon, she stayed home, cooking and cleaning the house in place of me. She forced me to eat, and whenever I started crying quietly at random points, she would pat me awkwardly on the back and start cursing Jacob and Lizzie.

But I really couldn't blame them. It was in Jacob's nature to eventually imprint on the right person, and I couldn't hold that against him. But it was getting increasingly difficult to cope with everything that had happened to me.

Was I ever going to get over this?

Charlie and Sue returned after two weeks. They immediately turned their attention on me, which I found suffocating. I appreciated their concern for me, but I really wanted to be left alone. That was when I found myself wishing for graduation to come so that I could escape to college.

The idea of college gave me a slight spark of hope. Slowly but surely, I began to pull myself together. It wasn't Jacob's fault, nor mine. I didn't want him to feel as guilty as Sam felt toward Leah whenever my name was mentioned. I wanted him to be happy with Lizzie. That's what he deserved. _I_ was responsible for my own life, not _him_, not Jacob.

First semester drew to a close, and the deadlines for college applications were met. Being a senior, there was nothing distracting enough left for me to do other than throw myself into studying. But even studying wasn't hard enough that I had to be doing it constantly. I found myself achieving straight A's in all my classes, even Gym, and I was left to stare blankly into space throughout the rest of the year.

One by one, my friends began to receive mail. There were cries of delight and disappointment. Some would be attending school together, some would be separated.

I had applied to only two places: the University of Washington and Florida. I wanted to stay in the state, if possible, but if I could be close to my mother again, that was fine too. If I didn't get in anywhere, I would still stay home, like Leah.

I was accepted into both and was deciding where to go when a third mail arrived. I stared at the huge envelope for a long time. Was I reading incorrectly, or did it really say Dartmouth?

"Oh, you got it," Leah tossed out in her usual careless voice. She nodded at the envelope. "Why don't you open it up and see how much of a scholarship you got?"

I blinked at her as she moved around the kitchen gracefully. "I didn't apply."

"Of course you didn't," she sniffed. "You're too modest to even consider an Ivy League. But with your brains, I thought, why not? You're welcome."

I was still in disbelief. "_You_ applied for me?"

"Duh. Here, eat this." She shoved a bowl of baby tomatoes toward me. "Dinner might take a while."

I just stared at her. "You thought I could get into _Dartmouth_?"

She rolled her eyes. "You just did. Or would they have sent such a huge ass envelope? Are you going to open it, or shall I?" She snatched the envelope and ripped it open. She pulled out the contents and read aloud, "'_Dear Miss Isabella Swan, congratulations on your acceptance to Dartmouth College!_' Blah, blah, blah... Oh, look, you got a full scholarship for your freshman year. Again, you're welcome."

She tossed the letter back to me, and I read it with my own two eyes. And I still couldn't believe it.

"How...?" I shook my head. "You're incredible."

"It was nothing," she said swiftly. "The essay question was the same as UW, so I just sent it in and forged your signature. Now, you don't even have to wonder where you're going to go. You've got your answer."

For the first time in months, I felt my lips lift up in a slight smile. My face felt strange as I used its muscles. It was like I had forgotten how to smile.

Leah paused and studied my expression. Her face softened. "You really should smile more often. You're much prettier."

* * *

Charlie, Sue, and Renee were ecstatic, of course. Renee was already bragging to all her friends, and she forgave me immediately for choosing to go to Dartmouth instead of the University of Florida.

"Are you kidding, Bella?" she had exclaimed. "Between an Ivy League and crappy Florida State, you don't even have to think!"

It was quite embarrassing to have all the attention on me at school. The news had spread quickly: The zombie was going to an Ivy League. I wondered if any of Forks High's alumni had ever gone to an Ivy League. I was probably the first and last one.

The Cullens would've easily gotten into an Ivy League.

I couldn't bear to stay in this town now that I had decided on where to escape to. I had to leave early for a freshman orientation anyway, and I prepared myself to move to the East. But there was one more thing to take care of.

Leah had begged me not to go, saying it wasn't worth my time. But I was not Leah, and I couldn't keep living without letting Jacob know that I didn't blame him one bit for what had happened. I could only live and move on if I was the one to let go first.

I saw that the pack and the girls were outside in the front yard of Emily's house. They were running around and laughing playfully, having fun. It was summer vacation, after all, and the sun was out today. They paused when they heard the loud rumbling of my truck.

Jacob brightened when I exited the car and made my way slowly toward them. I winced when Lizzie joined him, linking her arm through his. She knew everything then. She had accepted the fact that she was destined to be Jacob's beloved forever.

"Bella," Jacob said when I stopped in front of them. The rest of the pack was silent as they lingered a few feet behind him

"Hi, Jake," I said softly. I nodded at Lizzie.

She looked timid and guilty. She was half hidden behind Jacob's huge form, as though she expected me to lash out at her. Jacob glanced toward her, then back at me.

"Um." He cleared his throat. "We heard about Dartmouth. Congrats, Bells."

The rest of the pack mumbled their congratulations, to which I nodded. "Thanks."

"Bella, I'm sorry," Jacob blurted out. "I really didn't mean to. I mean, I just saw Liz and I couldn't look away, and I just-"

I shook my head. "Stop, Jake. I'm not here to yell at you. I'm here to tell you that it's okay. _I'm_ okay. It's all good."

He just stared at me blankly. "Huh?"

I smiled ruefully. "Of course, I can't lie and say that I wasn't hurt. I _was_. I still am. You promised me that you'll always be there for me, and you broke that promise. You left me too."

He flinched. "Bella..."

"But I understand that it's not your fault," I said. "It isn't Lizzie's fault either. It's part of your nature, and I accept that. So...I'm okay."

He studied me. Finally, he whispered, "No, you're not."

I laughed humorlessly. "I guess I'm not doing so hot, but it's really fine. I want you to be happy with Lizzie. That's...why I came here today. To tell you before I left. I don't want you to feel guilty every time you think of me."

Jacob looked pained. "I'm so sorry." He hung his head. "I guess I'm no better than the bloodsucker, huh?"

I had no answer for that.

He sighed. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

"That's too soon," he mumbled, crestfallen.

Lizzie spoke up. "Why are you leaving so early?"

"Freshman orientation," I said, shrugging. I looked at her. "Be happy, okay?"

She looked uncomfortable. "Look, Bella. I'm really sorry about the way things turned out. I heard about what happened to you. It really doesn't seem fair that this happened on top of all that-"

"It's fine," I said quickly, not wanting to hear anymore. "Just...let it go."

I was suddenly being crushed by Jacob's huge body. "Jake!" But I hugged him back just as fiercely, feeling a lump form in my throat. "Love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, Bells," Jacob whispered back. "Never forget that. You'll always be my best friend."

Best friend. That's all I was now. What was I to _him_?

We finally withdrew, and I waved at the others. "Bye, everyone."

"Come visit, okay?" Emily called as I made my way back to my truck.

I didn't reply nor did I look back. I heard Seth call, "Bye, sis!" as I slammed the door shut. I waved at my new stepbrother, smiling slightly before I drove away.

* * *

"You really said that to him?" Leah asked incredulously. "Are you serious?" She paused. "How?"

I sighed as I got into bed. Leah and I had been sharing my bedroom ever since she had come to live with us. Seth slept around in the pack's houses down in La Push, since he was still in high school and needed to be closer to the reservation. When I left for Dartmouth tomorrow, Leah would inherit my bedroom. Tonight was the last time she would sleep on the air mattress next to my bed.

"I'm not you, Leah," I said, closing my eyes. "If I hold grudges, I'll die from all the hatred."

"So you forgave him?"

"There was nothing to forgive in the first place. It wasn't their fault. You know better than I do that he couldn't help it."

"But he broke his promise to you," Leah said quietly. "Can you forgive him for that?"

I hesitated. "I can try." I blew out a sigh. "I'm not saying that I'm completely fine. I'm not even sure if I'll ever recover fully. But I guess...for now, it's a bit more endurable."

She shook her head as she pulled the covers to her chin. "You're so weird. No wonder you hang around bloodsuckers and werewolves."

"Good night, Leah," I said softly.

"'Night, vamp girl," she mumbled back. "Don't let the bed bugs bite. And _please_ try not to scream tonight. I really don't want to kick you out of your own room on your last night."

There was a long period of silence as I lay in my bed, trying to sleep. I really didn't want to revisit my nightmares, for they scared the hell out of me, but I needed to. I would need the rest, since I would be spending a few hours in the plane.

I got the feeling that Leah, too, was having a hard time falling asleep. She was a good actress, breathing evenly and not moving.

My mouth parted to speak the words that I'd been wanting to tell her since the night she had taken my side and comforted me.

"Thank you, Leah."

* * *

**AN: I hope you're all loving the story! Leave me lots of reviews! Long ones, short ones; they're all welcome!**


	4. Chapter 4: Fire

**Author's Note: A time skip! Surprised? But then again, why should you, right? I mean, time skips are kind of like my thing. Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Two Years Later**

"...and on that note, I think we're finished, don't you?" my professor said cheerfully, setting her notes down on her desk. She turned to face us. "Have a _wonderful_ summer, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget to keep reading!"

Everyone cheered, and one by one, they all stood as they packed up their belongings. I lingered in my seat at the back of the classroom, waiting. I still hating big crowds. When a majority of the students had exited, I finally stood up and slowly began packing my things.

"Two years, and I hear you've barely spoken outside of the classroom, Miss Swan."

Startled, I looked up from the act of closing my bag. She was sitting behind her desk with her glasses still on, peering at me from her seat.

I quickly looked back down. I didn't know what to say.

"Well, now, your teachers and I aren't really complaining," she said. "You're one of our best students. English Literature isn't an easy major, but you seem to have the aptitude for it. But I _am_ curious: Were you always like this?"

I hesitated before making my way slowly toward her. She was clearly waiting for an answer. "I don't know what you mean." I paused in front of her.

She studied me. "You wear the face of a person who has lost everything. Like...you have no purpose in life, or you can't find a reason to live."

I stared at her. "Are you saying that I seem suicidal?"

She laughed. "No, no. Not quite suicidal, but...hopeless. Yes, that's the word I'm looking for." She pointed her fountain pen at me. "You're a good student, but you lack social life. And I don't think you were naturally like this either. You have friends here, and you talk to them, but you always seem to be living in your own world."

I considered her words. "And...that's a bad thing?"

Her eyebrows scrunched up. "Not necessarily. But it seems incompatible with you." She looked sympathetic. "Whatever happened to you, Miss Swan, I'm sure it has impacted your life right now. But you're still so young, and I would recommend changing that before you regret it for the rest of your life."

I had never met someone so insightful and observant. Of course I have, but he hadn't been specifically human.

She smiled and reached in her drawers to pull out a neatly wrapped, brown package. She handed it to me. "Don't tell any of my students I bought you this." She winked as I took it confusedly. "Have a nice summer, Miss Swan."

It was an obvious dismissal, and she turned to her computer, taking off her glasses as she did so. I left her to whatever she was doing and left the room.

* * *

I was zipping up my suitcase when my newly acquired cell phone rang. It was Charlie. I sat on the edge of my bed and answered it. "Hi, Dad."

"Bella, you on the plane yet?"

I laughed quietly. "Not even at the airport yet. Dad, why are you awake at six o'clock in the morning?"

"Sue and I are so excited that you're coming home that we woke up early. When's your flight again?"

"Eight," I answered. "I'm arriving around one o'clock. Is that okay?"

"Sure," he said. "Leah's coming to pick you up anyway, not me. She traded her shift to this morning so she could pick you up from Port Angeles. She's running around in the forest as we speak, as a _wolf_." I could still hear the disbelief in his tone as he said the word.

"How sweet," I said, smiling. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Love you, Bells."

I hung up and sighed. I suddenly glanced at my bedside table, where the brown package sat, unwrapped. I'd completely forgotten about it yesterday, having been preoccupied with packing my belongings to take home this summer.

Curious, I unwrapped the package carefully and blinked down in surprise. It was a new, hard copy of _Wuthering Heights_. I quickly deduced that she must have seen my tattered copy of the book. I had been meaning to go buy a new one, but the professor had beaten me to it.

Smiling, I thanked her silently as I opened the front flap. The book's spine creaked softly as I did so, and I paused when I saw the professor's familiar loopy handwriting: _Interesting that you adore this book so much. Personally, it's not one of my favorites, but I saw that your old copy was worn out. It was a pleasure to have you in my class this year. Happy reading, Bella! Professor Suzanne Simmons._

I ran my fingers over her signature lightly. I remembered her words from our conversation yesterday. It was interesting that she had noticed _me_ of all her several hundred students. I knew she was the best teacher I'd ever had, and hoped I would never forget her.

I reached for my carry-on bag to place the book carefully inside. I bit my lip as I remembered Edward's arguments about the book. He could never understand my appeal to it, convinced that the characters had traits that were not humane.

It didn't hurt me as much as it did anymore to remember my time with him. I was indeed healing with time – I was slowly beginning to recall back my memories with him. The funny thing about humans was the fact that time was the medicine to all, no matter how hurt I'd been in the first place. While this didn't mean I was completely fine, I was a lot more tolerant now. I was moving on.

I was finally breaking away from the supernatural.

* * *

I spotted Leah right away. It was like I was the only one that had changed. My stepsister's hair length was as consistent as ever, and being a werewolf, her body features hadn't changed one bit, except for the fact that she'd perhaps gotten more beautiful. Even the weather was the same.

My changes must have been obvious. She looked up and down at me once, looking impressed. "Look at you. What are you dressed up for? You got a boyfriend or something?"

I surprised her with a gentle hug. "Hey, Leah. It's good to see you."

"As much as I hate to admit it, same to you." She pulled back, smiling slightly. "You look better. I'm glad. And you still haven't answered my questions."

I rolled my eyes as we headed for the car. "No, no boyfriend. I guess my fashion sense has just improved slightly."

"It's more than that," she disagreed. "You're an adult now. You're much more mature. You're twenty now, aren't you?"

I nodded.

"Hell, you look at least twenty-five. And look at those curves, girl." She poked at my side.

I laughed. "Quit it." I changed the subject. "How's Seth?"

"Dying. He can't wait until he graduates."

"Junior year sucks," I agreed.

"If I had it my way, I would've run all the way here," Leah said, opening the trunk to heave my trunk in. She did so as easily as though it weighed nothing. It must be a wolf thing. "But Charlie and Sue are paranoid about blending in...so, yeah."

"How is everyone?" I asked curiously as she started the car and began driving well beyond the speed limit.

She threw me a cautious look, searching for signs of the pain I'd displayed two years before. When she saw nothing, she frowned, and answered, "Fine. They can't wait to see you."

"I'm fine, Leah," I said. I looked outside at the blurring green as we passed. "Time heals all."

She snorted. "Majoring in English Lit makes you loony, I see. What are you, freaking Einstein? Talk normally."

I laughed. "Whatever, Leah."

"But seriously, you seem fine," she said. "That's abnormal. You over it already?"

I hesitated. "Jacob imprinting...that was the easiest to cope with. I'm more than okay with that now. As for...the Cullens...I'm getting there."

She seemed surprised that I'd uttered their name. I hadn't been able to do that before. "You're right," she said finally, as we passed the _Welcome to Forks _sign. "Time heals all."

* * *

The welcome with Charlie and Sue took only a few minutes. After unpacking and an early dinner, Leah drove me down to La Push. She mumbled that she was going to stay in the car while I went inside to say hello, but I made her get out of the car.

She lingered in the background while I greeted most of the pack and Emily for the first time in two years. She declined a muffin, then quickly spoke up to say that she couldn't stay long. Knowing her discomfort, I also declined Emily's eager invitation to stay for dinner, claiming that we had already eaten.

Promising to visit again soon, I followed Leah back to the car. She looked disgruntled when I asked if she was pissed I'd made her come inside with me, and didn't answer. She was about to head toward the road when I heard my name being called.

Leah paused, and I lowered the window as Jacob jogged toward us. "Hi, Jake."

He grinned widely. "Come on, get out of the car so I can hug you!"

I found myself in a bone-crushing hug as soon as I'd exited. Leah rolled her eyes exasperatedly as she leaned back in her seat, waiting impatiently.

"You look good," Jacob noted. "I'm glad. How's college?"

I shrugged. "Better than high school, at least." He laughed. "Where's Lizzie?"

His smile faded slightly as he, like Leah, searched for signs of distress. When he saw none, he answered, "At home. She's sick right now, so I was about to head over to see how she was doing."

"Tell her to feel better from me," I said. "I'll come visit again, okay?" I smiled as I waved at his confused expression. He waved back, but it was obvious that he hadn't expected me to act so normal around him.

"He's going to call me later," Leah grumbled as we pulled back onto the road. "He's obviously wondering if you're on drugs or something."

I sighed as I closed the window to block out the wind and rain. "I'm moving on. Is that so bad?"

"Of course it isn't," Leah said. "It's good." She paused. "Do you think you can teach me how to do that?"

I glanced at her suddenly bitter expression. I looked at the window, watching the thick raindrops gather. "I don't know, Leah. You're not human."

* * *

Returning to Forks brought back memories. I found myself reliving every moment I had spent with Edward and his family. I was supposed to be moving on from all of them, and yet, here I was, holding onto the memories.

They were no longer happy memories. Those memories that had seemed happy at the time were now labeled as bitter. Why I had lived through those times to end up like this, I had no idea. What had been the point?

I felt incomplete, somehow. I had drawn the finish line between Jacob and I, making sure that he would not feel bad and resent himself for hurting me for the rest of his life. I was sure that he was still feeling apologetic toward me to some extent, but at least we'd had a closure to our relationship. I had no regrets there.

On the other hand, the situation with Edward was different. _He _had finished it all by himself, which I thought was probably why I had such a hard time moving on from that phase of my life. What was he doing? Was he finding distractions to help him forget about me?

I had to find some closure with Edward as well. Otherwise, this uncomfortable feeling would linger within me. I would never move on.

Two weeks into summer vacation, I had a sudden epiphany. I had been looking for ways to help me move on. I realized the perfect way to end this misery – find closure in the meadow.

_Our_ meadow.

The problem was finding it.

The last time I had visited the meadow was two years ago, with Jacob. I would be rusty with my bearings as well as hiking, but I still thought I could find it on my own. This was private. I had to do it by myself.

I started early in the morning, waking up at five and digging up the old map where Jacob had marked the place with a permanent marker. I laced up my hiking shoes and made sure I had a couple water bottles in my bag before taking the compass and heading out the door.

I hadn't planned on telling anyone where I was going, for fear they would stop me, but my darling stepsister foiled that plan.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

I cursed internally and turned around to face the stairs. Leah was standing at the foot of the steps, in a white lawn shirt and knee-length shorts. She was barefoot. She looked suspicious as she walked gracefully toward me. She looked over me.

"You're not going _hiking_?" she asked incredulously. "You?"

"I can hike too," I said defensively.

She snorted. "Alright, alright." Her expression turned concerned. "Wait...you're going into the forest?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Leah asked apprehensively. "I mean, like you said before, you're _human_."

I smiled wryly. "Exactly. Maybe I'm suicidal."

Her expression darkened. "That's not funny, Isabella."

I winced at my full name. "Where are _you_ going so early?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "My shift is in the morning these days. I'm going to go run with Seth. I was thinking I should patrol all day today, since I really have nothing to do."

"Well, tell him hi for me." I turned to leave.

"Wait, Bella," Leah protested.

I ignored her and kept walking. Suddenly, she was there, in front of me. "Listen, you," she said impatiently. She studied me with a sour face. She really did seem unhappy about me going into the forest alone. "Stick close to the trails, alright? And no funny business."

"What funny business?" I mumbled, purposely not referring to her request. In order to get to the meadow, I had to avoid the trails.

"Look, I just..." She sighed. I guess she knew that I wasn't going to change my mind because she plunged on, "I just have a really bad feeling about this. I mean, any other day, I'd say fine, go out and hurt yourself. But today...I don't know. Just be careful, alright?"

I raised my eyebrow, then smirked. "Leah Clearwater is telling me to be careful? Wow, you actually care about me?"

She grimaced. "Yeah, well..." She bit her lip. "If something happens and you need help, just call my name, okay? I'll be in wolf form; I'll hear you just fine. And besides, I'll be with Seth, and you know the kid has good ears."

"Sure, Leah. Have fun."

She threw me another worried look before jogging into the forest and out of sight.

* * *

I began to hyperventilate when I reached the trail. The memory was just _there_, and it was so vivid that I could hardly breathe. I'd thought I'd been doing alright until now. Who was I kidding? I was still a mess.

It took a few minutes to calm myself down. At this rate, I was never going to reach my goal. Did I want closure? Did I want him out of my life for good?

_It will be as if I'd never existed_.

_ He_ would want this. I did too.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, resisting the childish urge to start crying. I opened the map and used the compass to make sure I remembered the right way. I took a deep breath before plunging into the forest.

I walked. And walked. I thought of nothing as I merely concentrated on my steady pace and my fast heartbeat. It was like I was in a trance. After a few hours, the silence of the forest was music in my ears with the occasional chirping of a bird. I welcomed the smell of nature and the cool air that swirled around my hot face.

I paused a few times to refresh myself with water, then continued on. There was no fatigue, no hunger. Just the determination to end everything that had to do with him. I _would_ finish this today. Tomorrow, I would no longer be holding on to the past, no longer be clawing desperately on the edge of the sharp cliff. I would let go and land on a safer, more solid ground.

How much time had passed? I had no watch, and I had left my cell phone in my room. I had no way of telling, but the weather remained nice for me, as if it was assisting me to find my closure. The day was chilly, and especially more so as I walked deeper into the forest, but there were no ominous, gray clouds that threatened rain. I had picked a good day.

And yet, as much as I hated to do so, Leah's words nagged me. I started getting an uneasy feeling about everything. Just everything about today seemed so perfect, so peaceful and calm that I didn't trust it. With my luck, it was entirely too possible for everything to go wrong with one simple turn.

Still, I walked on. Every now and then, I paused to catch my breath. I took out the map and compass to make sure I was still on the right path. And I continued.

At long last, there came a break in the trees. I faltered slightly before speeding up, eager to see the place again, to make sure for the last time that my time with him hadn't been a dream.

And there it was. I stood at the edge of the perfect circle, staring at the plush, bright green grass that hosted many wildflowers as well as weeds. Despite the untamed, wild state of the place, I was still tossed into my memories.

As I walked to the center of the meadow, I saw two figures there already. The girl was a younger version of me, and her eyes were closed as she inhaled her companion's wonderful, intoxicating, inhumane scent...

I reached the place where I'd seen them, watching as the Bella Swan and Edward Cullen in my memory disappeared. I closed my eyes, opening up all my senses. I had to let go. Our official relationship had started here, where we had confessed our feelings to each other, and now, it was time to end it.

Edward and I were no more. It was time to accept it. I had resisted for too long, but he hadn't wanted me. I had been nothing more than a toy...a momentary distraction in his immortal, boring life...

Why was it that his face was becoming clearer?

_No_, I tried to tell my brain. _Help me end this!_

But his face grew clearer and clearer. I began to hyperventilate.

Why couldn't I let go? Was I destined to be trapped forever? A sufficient amount of time had passed for me to finally be able to do this. And yet, I was still hopeless as ever when it came to him. Still dazzling me when he wasn't present, still driving me insane when he had left.

My eyes snapped open when I heard a rustle in the trees in front of me. I was still not in a good condition to face anything unexpected, and I tried to hide my instability. I gazed into those red eyes for the first time in two years, those eyes that had haunted me in my dreams and in reality. I half expected to see her again with her flaming red hair when I knew that the wolves had taken care of that matter...

But instead, I was facing a man with olive skin and dark hair as he crept toward me in a cat-like manner. My hyperventilation was not helping.

He seemed just as surprised as I was. "Bella?"

I just stared at him in shock, unable to find my voice. My brain was telling me to run away because I was obviously in danger now. But my feet was glued to the grass underneath me. I could not move an inch.

I should have listened to Leah. This was a very stupid idea.

A closure of my past? More like a closure of my life.

I knew that I should be calling for Leah right now. I was supposed to warn the wolves since they obviously had not yet caught the scent of a vampire trespassing on their lands. Where was my voice? Was it going to abandon me when I needed it most?

"Bella?" he inquired again, taking another few steps forward. He was now less than a hundred feet away.

I was shocked when I heard _his_ voice again for the first time in years. The last time had been with my motorcycle stunt, and since then, I hadn't needed to be reckless again thanks to Jacob. I knew immediately that I wouldn't be able to end this. Not today. First, I had to deal with two vampires – one in reality, one in my subconscious.

_Back away_, the angelic voice ordered. His voice was just as smooth and velvety as I remembered. He was furious. Angry.

I couldn't. My feet weren't connected with my brain at the moment.

"Is that really you, Bella?" Laurent asked incredulously. He paused. "Impossible. I seem to remember Victoria telling me..." He trailed off, studying me with those bright crimson eyes.

Victoria. Yes, she and Laurent had been in the same coven with James... Laurent must have assumed that she'd killed me two years ago.

_Back away!_

I flinched.

Slowly, trying to make it look as natural as possible, I took a step back. "L-Laurent."

He smiled, pleased that I had remembered his name. "Yes, Bella." He looked thoughtful. "So it's true, then. The Cullens did leave you." He took another few steps forward. "Do they visit you often?"

_Lie._

I didn't want this. I wanted to turn my back on the supernatural, despite my stepsiblings being werewolves. I had been taken away from their world when he left, and I now wanted to keep it that way. He'd left for a reason.

"Sometimes," I whispered, my voice trembling. I no longer bothered to hide the fear in my voice. I couldn't.

"Sometimes," he repeated. He was suddenly fifty feet away.

"But I don't live here anymore," I continued slowly. "I go to college...in the east."

"Oh?" Laurent looked politely curious. "So you're visiting for the summer, then? How nice." Thirty feet.

I took another step back. "What are you doing here, Laurent?"

"Me?" Laurent smiled. "I was just passing by. I was curious to see if Victoria was really telling the truth about the Cullens leaving Forks. I just passed by their house – it really was empty." He inclined his head. "I haven't been in touch with Victoria for about two years. You wouldn't happen to know what happened to her, would you, Bella?" He paused before asking apologetically, "She never came for you?"

He was muttering curse words, growling simultaneously. I wanted him out of my head for good. So badly that I actually wished that I had never met him, never spent almost a year with him before he left, leaving the danger behind.

"She did," I choked out. "She's...dead."

He blinked in surprise. "Dead?" He frowned. "How?"

"Wolves," I gasped. "Werewolves."

He stopped from creeping closer to me. For the first time, uncertainty betrayed his confident tone. "Werewolves? There are werewolves...here? In Forks?"

I nodded jerkily, twice.

He stared at me for a long moment. Then, he started chuckling before standing twenty feet away. "How interesting. You did not change, Bella. Still in the company of strange creatures, I see."

Strange creatures...

Leah. I need you. Leah. Jacob. Seth. Anybody.

"Are you going to avenge her?" I whispered, taking another step back.

"Avenge...Victoria?" Laurent asked incredulously. "Heavens, no. She and I never saw eye to eye on things. We were far too different for that. No, I'm afraid you simply caught me at the wrong time, Bella." He looked sincerely apologetic, like he was just sorry that he'd bumped into me accidentally at school. "I was hunting when I caught your scent. I'm rather thirsty at the moment, you see."

Right on cue, _he_ growled furiously, and Laurent's eyes darkened. They were black as coal.

Ten feet. And I could no longer find the sense in me to back away.

"This isn't personal, Bella," he told me. "Merely a survival instinct. It was just bad luck you were here, at the wrong place at the wrong time."

I gasped when he was suddenly in front of me, touching a lock of my hair and inhaling my scent. His eyes burned blacker as he resisted the urge to finish me instantly. He was relishing the moment as long as he could, making me feel nauseated.

"I'm really sorry, Bella," Laurent said.

_No!_ He was hissing and growling, angered beyond reason, but there was nothing he could do. He was not here, and only had a place in my memory.

"Leah," I managed.

Laurent, about to lean toward my throat, paused. "I beg your pardon?"

"Leah!" I gasped. He must have thought I was spouting crazy things.

Confusion marred his beautiful face before shaking his head. "You poor creature. Don't worry, Bella. I'll be quick. You will not feel a thing, I promise." He leaned in, only six inches away.

"Leah!" I screamed, just before fire erupted on the side of my neck.

I collapsed, unable to function anymore. I lost all my senses except for the burning that raged throughout my body. I vaguely noticed him sucking on my throat hungrily...and then, the cold lips were not touching me.

I heard many different growls at once, loud as thunder, all around me. I felt my hair swirl around my face as a rush of wind blew past me, launching itself straight at the vampire that had fatally injured me. And I was lying on the comfort of the plush grass, my body arching in response to the pain.

All thoughts left me. As the pain grew worse, it grew harder to focus on anything but the fire burning through everything inside of me. Through my own screams, I heard a screeching, metallic noise ripping through the forest, the sound echoing horribly through the trees.

And then, it was silent. Or was I screaming? Was that in my head?

Everything faded in and out. The pain was too much. Was I hallucinating, or did I hear voices?

"No, Leah! Don't go near her! She could be dangerous!"

A deeper voice, one that was vaguely familiar. "Stop her! Jared, Paul!"

"Stop!" a woman's voice screamed. "Let me go, you bastards! Sam, if you don't let me go, I swear I'll kill you! She's my _sister_, for Christ's sake!"

"She's not anymore," the deeper voice shot back. "The bloodsucker bit her. He was drinking her blood when we arrived, Leah! Don't you know what that means? She's becoming one of them! We have to kill her before she changes completely!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Keep her back, Jared."

The woman was crying. Desperately, like an animal. It almost sounded like a wounded howl.

"NO, JACOB!"

"Let me go, you bastards," another familiar, husky voice growled. "You can't stop me! She's Bella, Sam! Or have you forgotten?"

"She's not Bella anymore, Jacob."

"Just because that _thing_ bit her doesn't mean she's not Bella anymore!" Jacob hissed.

"Are you going to defy my orders, Jacob?" Sam asked dangerously. "She's infected. She's dangerous. We have a duty to the tribe, Jacob, and our duty right now is to eliminate anything that was in contact with a cold one. She's not the Bella we know anymore."

"Shut it!"

"Bella!" Leah cried. "Bella! Let me go, Jared! She's my sister! I cared for her! I actually cared for that stupid, idiotic girl genius that hung around bloodsuckers! She actually needed me! Bella!"

"No, Leah!"

I felt a jolt go through my body when I felt gentle hands caress my face. Leah was sobbing. "Oh, god. Bella...Bella... Do something! Somebody do something!"

I screamed. The fire was burning out of control. I wanted them to get away – what if they caught it too? I wanted to scream for them to leave me alone. I was dead.

"Oh, god," Jacob said from my other side. "Bella...Bella..."

"Leah, sis, you can't save her. Come on!" I recognized Seth's voice. He was serious for once, and it sounded like he was crying too.

"No! No! Seth, let me go! NO!"

I wanted to cry out to her as her brother dragged her away. I was in pain. I needed her to console me with her rough attitude and careless personality. _Don't leave me..._

"Sam, I beg you," Jacob said quickly in a low, fierce tone. "Don't do this. Don't kill her. Look at her! She's Bella! She's still Bella, goddamn it! How can you kill her? You spoke to her, you actually liked her! And think about what Emily would say! Please, Sam."

There was a long moment of silence. I thought everyone had left. Left me to fend for myself, to endure the raging panic alone.

But then, Sam spoke in a weary tone. "I have no doubts that she will be a danger to us. But I guess..." He sighed. "We'll watch her until she's changed, see if she'll try to attack us. If she does, the pack finishes her. If she seems to have no interest in attacking us, we'll let her go. But we don't let her go back to Charlie or Sue. Is that fair enough?"

"Yes," Jacob breathed. "Thank you."

"Let's go," Sam said quietly. There was a pause. Then... "I'm sorry, Bella."

I wanted to flinch away when Jacob's hot hand touched my face gently. The fire was worse with added heat.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save you, Bella," he whispered, regret obvious in his tone. "Love you, Bells. I hope we don't have to kill you." His lips touched my forehead. "Goodbye, Bella."

And he was gone.

The fire raged on.

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**AN: Bet you didn't expect so much action in one chapter. I mean, for one, this is me we're talking about. I just **_**love **_**to torture my fans. But I figured, I needed to get the story **_**going**_**, divert it to the juicy parts. So hope you enjoyed that. You can always express your appreciation about how much you all love me and my stories by reviewing...I mean, just **_**saying**_**. There's always a chance I might update faster...**


	5. Chapter 5: Memories

**Author's Note: I must say, I'm loving the attention this story has been getting. Spread the word! The fact that this story is awesome, and that I'm awesome-er. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 5**

I lost track of time. I didn't know if it was raining or sunny. It was impossible to think straight in the confused chaos of fire. It was as though it was spreading itself thinly but destructively under my skin, determined to kill me.

And yet, it didn't. I knew I was alive behind some form of reality in the back of my head. If I focused hard enough, I even felt the damp, plush grass underneath me, and the tickle of the wildflowers and weeds near my skin.

It was very strange, this feeling. This burning, this feeling of a hundred poisonous knives poking through my body simultaneously...

It was bewildering. Just that. I was bewildered. I lost focus on my surroundings after a few seconds every time I tried to concentrate, and I was plunged back into the chaos. Everything rushed around me. It was like the fire was messing with my head, my brain. The world was going around in a three-sixty, but I was in complete darkness.

And then, it started. The stream of pictures.

Behind my eyelids, I watched as the first picture rose to the surface: I recognized myself as a baby, in the arms of Renee. I was an audience at the moment, however, like I was seeing through the eyes of Charlie, or perhaps a nurse or a friend.

Gradually, new pictures replaced old ones. They were all about my life until my twentieth year, when this fire had tampered with my lifeline. And then, it was completely black again...until a new set of pictures rose.

I recognized the family immediately.

I watched as the father figure was born in the sixteen-hundreds, with the familiar blonde hair and unfamiliar blue eyes. And then, he was sixteen. Then twenty. And finally, I watched as that fateful night at the age of twenty-three emerged. He was giving chase with a group of men behind him, trying to catch up with the vampires. I strained against my invisible chains as I tried to reach out and hide the strong, young man before...

He fell to the floor, writhing in pain. The vampire that bit him ran off...and he was left to fend for himself. I watched as he hid himself, terrified of being discovered, keeping silent as the transformation completed. I could do nothing as he did everything he could to take his own life, until he finally found himself again.

I watched as he met the sixteen-year old, human girl that was destined for him as he treated her broken leg, recognizing the lust in both their eyes. He already knew he had found his other half, but he was forced to leave her behind. He was lonely without her, but it was a shock to see her again in the morgue, now twenty-six, and dying. He stole her quietly from the hospital and brought her home where his adopted son joined him as he bit her...

The entire set of pictures vanished and morphed to show the face of a small girl of four, laughing as she ran around. Then, she was sixteen, and she had fallen off a tree. A pale, handsome doctor was treating her, and she could not ignore the fluttering of her heart as he gazed into her eyes kindly...

And then, the girl was twenty-three in a wedding dress, looking indifferent as a good-looking man married her. I watched in horror as she was physically abused by her new husband, and quickly, fear became a constant companion in her life. The scene changed, and she looked a little older. Her hand was on her bloated stomach as she sat at a different house than where she'd lived with her husband.

Suddenly, she was in a hospital, crying hysterically at the death of her newborn child. She was devastated...she could not live this life anymore. She was at a cliff, where she called out her son's name as she threw herself off the sharply edged precipice... And then, she was being transported directly to the morgue, thinking her dead already as she fought for her last breath...

She regained consciousness to fiery pain. She endured the fire, and opened her eyes to a clear, new world. She was surprised to see the doctor she had so idolized all her life. She listened and accepted the man's explanation about the reality of what they were. I watched as she fell in love and assumed the role of the mother in the family.

A new set emerged. The baby girl was quite beautiful, with her long, blonde hair... Suddenly, she was eight, and she was brushing her beautiful hair. She was very pretty in her new, blue dress that she'd gotten for her birthday. And then, she was fifteen, and her girlfriends sighed with envy as every man's eyes turned to her as she passed.

At eighteen, she had caught the eye of the most eligible bachelor in town. The son of the owner of the bank where her father worked. She was happy as she attended parties with the young man by her side...

She was walking home at night from her friend's house when she saw her fiancé and his friends. He grabbed her inappropriately, and soon, his friends joined in the game. She was broken and bleeding. Someone was working over her, examining her wounds...and then, there was a new, sharp pain in her throat. She begged for him to kill her. When she was brought home to the rest of the family, she screamed and begged them too.

She looked uninterested, as did her new brother, to the disappointment of their parents. They had hoped that she would be special to him. Her eyes were still quite red when she stormed into her ex-fiancé's hiding place, wearing a stolen wedding dress, and smiling prettily...

He was a young boy with dark, curly hair. Dimples and happy faces as he tripped on his own feet and began to cry. He was suddenly fifteen, and quite a strong teenager for his age. He was still a troublemaker, always cheerful and supportive toward his financially struggling family.

He was twenty, and he was in the woods, trying to push the bear away. The bear scratched his handsome face, and he crumpled to the ground, in pain. He thought he was hallucinating as a beautiful, blonde angel came to rescue him, killing the bear and kneeling beside him as she held her breath carefully at the sight of his blood...

She was young, maybe five. She announced that Grandmother would be here in ten minutes, and soon enough, an old lady with puffy white hair came strolling toward the house. She was ten, and quite nervous about voicing her predictions. She was fifteen, trying to ignore the whispers about the strange child...a _witch_, perhaps...

She was eighteen, and she was begging her mother not to go outside. Her mother listened, until her father snapped at her. The foolish woman began to grow complacent, and she was finally killed in a buggy accident. She watched as her father took a new, young wife, who was quite cold toward her. She had her suspicions about her stepmother, and she informed her displeasure to her father...only to finally realize his betrayal.

I watched in shock as she ran away from home, where she was finally caught at the town marshal's house, and sent to an asylum. Shock treatments and memory loss...and befriending a vampire that happened to work there. He knew about her psychic abilities, and he humored her, letting her guess the hidden objects he brought with him on his visits.

And then, I was horrified to see James, completely sure of himself as he aimed to hunt her. Her vampire friend was informed by her, and he apologized before biting her. James took care of the vampire, but regretfully left her, knowing his hunt had failed. She woke up alone and scurried away to perform her first hunt. She started practicing a vegetarian lifestyle. Her eyes were faraway as she saw a clear vision of a blonde vampire with red eyes, entering a small diner, where she was waiting for him.

I wanted to laugh when she suddenly appeared at their doorstep, wondering which room she could have. She was laughing at the surprised, bemused look upon their faces...

He was a charismatic little boy, even at the young age of seven. People listened to whatever he had to say, their eyes drawn to him automatically. He was sixteen, almost seventeen when he joined the Confederate army, tall enough to get away with the lie. He rose quickly through the ranks, being promoted over older men than he. His charisma helped others to listen to him during the battles.

He was a major now, and he was returning to Houston, Texas from helping refugees escape to Galveston, when he met three glorious figures. The leader stepped near him, and her cold lips brushed the side of his neck...

He trained the newborn vampires, killed them when they became too old, and, therefore, useless, and grew depressed at the result of all the negative emotions that surrounded him. His creator grew suspicious of him, and he was tired of the life he was living – fighting, fighting, and more fighting. He was helping a couple of newborn vampires escape...and soon, he was wandering away, depressed.

He had to feed, but he did not like the last of the humans' emotions as he drained them of blood. He hated the fear, the resentment, and he had no hope in life. He was ducking out of the rain, into a small diner in Philadelphia...and she was waiting for him. His hope.

And the set of pictures changed for the last time as the fire burned on. The stream of pictures helped to distract me more successfully than my surroundings did. I merely watched while the fire burned trails inside me, doing its job of torturing me. I focused on a cute baby with strange, bronze hair with beautiful green eyes...

He was six, a bright child and in love with the piano. His eyebrows creased as he concentrated on a specific part of the music, his expression frustrated as he kept making the same mistakes. He was fifteen, excelling in his studies and accomplished at playing the piano. He was sensitive to whatever people thought around him, especially good at reading people and deciphering what they were thinking at the moment. He was handsome, and winced as he unwillingly attracted lots of appreciative looks from women.

He was seventeen, and his mother was begging him to give up on the idea of becoming a soldier. He was stubborn, though, and he tried to comfort and persuade his beautiful, distraught mother – it was what he truly desired. He had no interest in women, and he didn't want to follow his father's footsteps in law. He was waiting for the moment he became eighteen, so he could join the army and go to war.

He was lying down on a bed in a hospital, having succumbed to the Spanish Influenza. His mother was inconsolable as she, too, fought the pandemic, trying to nurse her sick son at the same time. She was grabbing the blonde doctor's hand, insisting that he had to save her son, do anything he can in his power to make him healthy again. And she was gone.

The man stood over the handsome boy, thinking, making his decision. And then, inspired by loneliness and the promise he'd just made to the boy's mother, he leaned over the teenager, whispering an apology before his lips touched the boy's throat.

He and his father figure were confused. He had answered a question his father had not spoken out loud. Over the next few weeks, he automatically answered questions his father asked in his head, and it was confirmed: He was gifted.

He left his new parents to their vegetarian lifestyle to question what it was truly like to be a vampire. He was still noble as he tried taking the wrong pathway, using his ability to track down murderers and rapists as victims. He tracked down the man that had beaten his mother figure when she was human, and he fell dead at the young man's feet – his first victim.

He watched as his father and newly arrived mother figure fell in love and married. He looked away when his beautiful, blonde sister arrived, having no interest in her romantically, not at all attracted to her shallow mind. He greeted his huge, new brother when his sister brought him home to join them, and he welcomed the psychic pixie and her empathic mate into their family, developing a close bond with her as they shared the psychic abilities that made them outsiders, even within their family.

He played the piano, read books, and listened to music. He composed, went hunting, and fervently wished to sleep. He played the piano, composed, and listened. And again. And again. He went to school, studied until he got bored, and tried to give his family as much privacy as he could. He learned to fight from his soldier brother, humored the huge, playful one by wrestling and participating in bets, and took joy in being the fastest in his family.

His whole life was filled with loneliness and repetitions of the same activities. High school, college. College, high school. Trying to ignore the vulgar thoughts of all the infatuated women as they thought of the only single member of the family. He was always in the dark – lonely and bored.

And then, I felt a jolt of shock when I saw myself that day in the cafeteria at school. I wasn't subtle at all – how amused he must have been at my attempt. I kept glancing at him through my eyelashes, and looked away quickly, blushing when I was caught. The only thing I'd never realized was that he had never looked away from me, curiosity ignited and frustrated at the fact that he was unable to hear my thoughts.

I wanted to wince when he tensed in the biology classroom, my scent attacking him. Shocked at the unexpected, he glowered at me all through class, almost hating me for torturing him like this, making him go through hell for sixty minutes. He was out the door and nearly running at an inhuman speed back to his car, feeling vulnerable and still shocked at the fact that such a human could smell so divinely.

He was surrounded by snow – he was sitting on a rock, thinking. A woman approached him – a strawberry blonde – and they were talking. She looked wistful, no doubt wanting him, but she left him alone, vanishing quickly. He stood up to leave as well but headed back to his car instead...

And then, the van was hurtling toward me, and I knew what he was thinking: _Not her!_ He wasn't thinking, he wasn't worrying about the consequences of his actions. He was moving in vampire speed, reaching me before the van did. He held out his hand to stop the van...

He was angry, livid at the turn of events. He was driving quickly to where I was, trapped by the dangerous men who had even more dangerous intentions... He wanted to kill them, but he couldn't, when I was looking at him with such trust and wonder. I was aware of his human emotions overwhelming him when I looked at him in that restaurant. He wanted me.

We were in the meadow, the perfect circle all grass and nothing more. No wildflowers and weeds. The sun peeked out, and his skin glittered like diamonds. He made his confession; I made mine. I knew of the danger, and yet, I knew it was too late. _He_ knew it was too late.

I wanted to protest when another scene resurfaced. It was in the forest, the all too familiar section of the forest, not too far from my house. He was saying goodbye. He was saying that he didn't love me anymore. He was watching, pained, as I was pained.

He left. He watched from afar as I stumbled my way through the forest, blindly trying to catch up with him. It took all of his will to not go to my side when I finally fell down on the forest floor, exhausted. He watched me for a while before turning, and...running away.

I was suddenly plunged into darkness once more when the visions ended abruptly. I was aware of the pain again, but this time, something was different. There was less pain, less fire. My fingertips were fine again, normal. The fire was beginning to die out. The pain was slowly fading.

Yes. Yes. It was finally over. The torture was over. The pain, it was done. I would finally be dead, and I welcomed the fact. If I could not find closure, I was better off dead so that I wouldn't be able to remember. I waited for death to find me.

At long last, the pain had faded until it was only left in my heart. It began to beat faster and faster, until I couldn't hear the lub-dub. It was a hummingbird's heartbeat, and I wanted to cry out when the pain grew unbearably more painful. My chest was tight and uncomfortable – I wanted it all to end. When would I die?

Faster and faster. More pain. The urge to cry out, but the fact that I was unable to. It continued until...

Silence.

No more pain. No more heartbeats.

Was I finally dead? If I opened my eyes, would I be in heaven or hell?

My senses seemed more heightened. My ears were sensitive – I could hear the chirping of a bird about a mile away. The scents came back to me sharply. There was the smell of wet grass and dirt...and there was also a wet dog smell. Had a mountain lion visited me while I was waiting for death to come?

I felt my throat explode with dryness and harsh pain when I cautiously took a breath. It was extremely painful, the thirst. Like someone had clawed their sharp fingernails against the walls of my throat...

Finally, I opened my eyes slowly, anticipating hell. If I was still in pain, I would have to be in hell. I expected fiery pits and lava pouring out of crevices of a jagged mountain.

I did not expect a blue sky and a few gray clouds closing in, drifting to obscure the weak sunlight.

I let my quick eyes wander – I could see every speck in the air, every detail of a leaf on a tree. It was amazing, the clarity. And yet...

I sprung to my feet, aware that I was lying on damp grass. There was a new grace in my step – I no longer felt clumsy or uncomfortable with where I was standing. Everything felt just right.

A hint of glitter caught my eye. I raised my bare hands slowly, watching with wide eyes as my skin sparkled like diamonds. I was pale. And hard, like stone. It hit me.

I was not dead. I was not in heaven, nor hell.

I was a vampire.

The truth of reality hit me. My thoughts instantly flashed to his retreating figure as he ran away, leaving me alone in the forest.

_It will be as if I'd never existed._

There would never be closure. He was with me always, a constant reminder. I could never escape from his grasp.

I hated it. I hated that I would never be able to find the ending that I desired, the ultimatum I so desperately needed. I hated that I was changed, that I could no longer die. I was stuck in the same place I'd always been in a twenty-year old body, and no longer able to move forward. The potential that had always been there was gone. I'd lost my chance.

I felt my face contort with pain as I unwillingly thought back to his retreating figure again. I crumpled to the ground, my legs weakening underneath me as the truth kept hitting me, something I should've realized before.

I should have moved on while I'd still had the chance. Now, I could never escape. The bitterness would never cease to be my companion.

Disgust, hatred, and resentment all boiled up inside me. Disgust with myself for letting the perfect opportunities to slip past me numerous times. Hatred for what I'd ended up as. Resentment toward the man I'd loved – the man I _still_ loved unconditionally – for leaving me broken and helpless like this.

He was retreating, turning his back on me. He hadn't returned.

And I was left bitter.

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**AN: Confusing? If you are, it's okay, I don't blame you. Basically the visions that Bella has is of the Cullens' human history. You'll find out more about how her new gift works later on. What do you think? Reviews?**


	6. Chapter 6: Truce

**Author's Note: Alrighty. So. I'm going to be showing you bits of EPOV to let you see how he's coping. Not well, as you will see from below. And let's find out how Bella deals with her werewolf boys, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 6**

**Edward's Point of View**

Two years. Two whole years had passed. And yet, it felt like a million.

Every second that passed was a full day. Or maybe a week. I didn't know anymore. I didn't know if time was indeed passing, or had frozen. I was only keeping track of my record. I knew that sooner or later, I would have to go back to see her. Even if it was to watch from afar, I would have to see her.

And I was only testing myself to see how strong I really was, how long I could stay away from her. My resolve was already weakening – I probably wouldn't last the year.

It was pure agony, not being with her. Did she feel this pain too? Was she able to move on yet?

Did she have a boyfriend? What college did she go to? What was she majoring in? What were her new friends like? Her professors? Her roommate? Where was she going to be twenty years from now?

Did she no longer love me?

I cursed myself for the millionth time, bringing my hands to my agonized face. I shouldn't have left. I could barely endure a second without her, knowing that I could never be with her again. What had I been thinking? If I had never left, I would now be attending college with her. Majoring the same subject with her. I would've spent her nineteenth birthday with her, and then her twentieth. She would be twenty now. Would she have grown more beautiful? More mature?

Forbidding myself and my family to even peek at any information about her had probably been taking it too far – almost an impossible feat for me. I was tempted to go ask Alice to take a look at her right now. I was so curious to the point that it was maddening, so curious about what was in her future. What did her future plans look like?

I rocked back and forth, trying to contain my anger, frustration, and misery. But with my temper, of course it was impossible.

"Edward!" Jasper called from downstairs, his voice strained as he, too, felt my pain with me. "Edward, please-"

He never finished. Silence filled the house as I yelled out in resentment, standing and sweeping the contents on my desk off to the floor. I moved on quickly to the decorations on the low bookcases, sweeping those off too. The glass vase shattered loudly, and bits of glass and water splashed everywhere. I toppled the bookcases, and my beloved collections of books and CDs, crashed to the floor.

I no longer cared about anything. If I didn't take out my emotions someplace, I might explode.

I knew that I was scaring my family with my unpredictability. Last week, I had shoved an innocent tree in our backyard to its death, snapping the huge trunk from its roots and separating them forever. And now, this.

I panted lightly when I was finished destroying my room, having destroyed two more glass vases and knocking over the furniture. I glowered at the messy room, and caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.

I walked closer, at human pace. I stared at my dead expression. My eyes were black.

_I've noticed that people – men in particular – are crabbier when they're hungry._

Memories were all I had left of her. I remembered everything she said so clearly as though she had just been with me yesterday. And yes, she had been right. I was crabby.

She would tell me to go hunt. She would laugh freely and dismiss my worry about leaving her alone, assuring me that she could stay out of trouble for a few hours easily. And I would go hunt.

Yes. I had to hunt now.

Moving swiftly once more, I descended the staircase down to the living room, where my family looked at me warily, wondering what I was up to now. Remorse flooded through me as I kept heading toward the back door, where it led to the entrance of Canada's forests.

"I'm sorry," I murmured brokenly as I fled outside. I heard a sigh behind me as I ran through the trees.

She would scold me for worrying my family.

**Bella's Point of View**

My head snapped up when the wet dog smell strengthened immensely and quite abruptly. It distracted me from my misery, and my eyes narrowed warily when I saw the many pairs of eyes emerging from the forest.

I stood up slowly, wondering if I should run. We were enemies now, the wolves and I. I knew that Sam wouldn't hesitate in killing me, past friends or not. And yet...

What if the conversation during my transformation hadn't been an imagination after all? Had that really happened? There was only one way to find out. I didn't move an inch as eight wolves slunk out slowly from the trees.

I recognized all of them by their coat color. Sam was all black – he was leading the rest of them, his teeth slightly bared in caution. To his right was Jacob, russet-colored. His ears flattened, and I thought I saw his eyes flash with...what? Pity? Remorse?

My eyes rested upon the smaller gray wolf all the way in the back. Leah. She was staring at me as she approached, the only one with her teeth not bared in warning. A small, whining noise escaped her, and she shook her head lightly, as if trying to get a hold of herself.

Their noses were wrinkled in disgust as they took in my new scent. I disgusted them, and they disgusted me. I took another step back, just to get away from the smell.

For a moment, we didn't move. I waited, wondering what Sam wanted.

And then, Sam whined and shook his head meaningfully. I stared at him, confused. I didn't speak wolf.

He repeated the gesture, and this time, I could tell that he was frustrated. He pawed the grass anxiously.

I glowered at him. "I'm sorry," I said flatly. "I'm not a mind-reader." My voice came out like bells.

They winced at the change in my voice, and Leah whined again. This time, Sam whipped around to glare at her warningly, and she lowered her head, undoubtedly cowering under the Alpha's orders. She whined in protest, but Sam growled back.

"What do you want, Sam?" I asked in a monotone voice. "A treaty? A war?"

He turned back to me, snorting. He and I had a staring contest for a minute before he turned his head to look at Jacob. Jacob instantly retreated out of sight, back into the trees.

A moment later, I heard his light footsteps returning, this time as a human. He jogged back to us, stopping about six feet in front of me. He looked wary, but I thought the distance was quite brave of him. He and the rest of the pack probably knew how unpredictable and dangerous newborn vampires were, but to also ignore the stink to stand this near to me was quite...impressive.

I wasn't so noble, though. I was sure that newborns would've attacked the wolves instinctively by now. I was able to stay still and endure the stink, but I took a step backward, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

He ignored my actions. "Hey, Bella. You're looking good."

My eyes fixed upon his. Glaring. "Is that an insult?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure. With you looking like some beautiful goddess with freaky red eyes?" He paused. "I guess it's an insult _and_ a compliment, since I'm a wolf and I'm supposed to hate you, and you _are_ beautiful."

I saw Quil and Embry rolling their eyes at his stupid comments. I almost did too.

"I notice Sam isn't attacking me," I noted, glancing at Sam warily.

Jacob sighed. "Yeah, well, I don't know if you heard anything while you were on the ground, screaming, but I convinced him not to. But it all depends on you, you know. If you decided to attack us, we're going to kill you without hesitation." His lips pursed. "Me too."

I couldn't help but smile minutely. "Of course. I wouldn't hesitate, either. We're natural enemies now, after all."

Leah winced. She whined again.

"Leah wants to know if you're okay," Jacob said. "She's been worried the entire two days you were out, and we could barely stop her from running out to you. We've been watching you for any sign of danger."

My chin raised slightly. "It's nice that you trust me so much."

"You're a cold one now, we can't help it." Jacob sighed again. "Look, Bella. First of all, the pack is really sorry that we couldn't get to you in time. Leah and Seth heard you call for help. Seth ran to get the others, and Leah went after you. I was phasing at the time, and I joined her, but..." He bit his lip. "We took care of the leech that bit you, but it was too late. You were already on the ground, writhing in pain."

I swallowed, my fists balling up instantly at the reminder of what I was now. I had looked for closure, and this is what I got. I had wanted to become a vampire once, but that had been when he was with me. Without him, it was pointless.

"We're all wondering what your intentions are," Jacob continued. "Like I said before, we won't hesitate to kill you if you hunt on our lands. And I don't know if we should include you in the treaty with the Cullens-" He stopped himself and looked at me warily.

My lips merely tightened at the mention of the family that had abandoned me. "No. I don't want anything to do with them. It's bad enough I can't move on." I looked straight at Sam as I spoke. "I have no intentions on fighting the pack. I'd like to leave our relationship in peace, if you don't mind. And you don't have to worry about me hunting on your lands, or people anywhere for that matter." My eyes tightened. "There was one good thing the Cullens did, and it was drinking animal blood instead."

Sam nodded, then looked at Jacob meaningfully. Although they couldn't communicate while Jacob was still human, he had probably gotten a list of questions to ask me before he phased back.

"That's cool," Jacob told me. "Sam doesn't want to fight either. None of us do." He took a deep breath. "Okay, so truce. Right?"

I nodded once, curtly. "Truce."

"I would shake hands, but you stink like hell."

"Right back at you."

"Okay, the next thing is Charlie."

That caught my attention. "Is he safe?"

"He's fine," Jacob answered. "We told him what happened to you. He's devastated, naturally, but he's accepted that you're dangerous now to be near him. He told me to pass on to you that he loves you a lot, and that he supports whatever you have to do. And that you're always welcome in his house – he already misses you."

Jacob looked serious. "The pack agrees with this. Look, we think you'll be dangerous right now, what with you being a new vampire and everything. So we would really appreciate it if you didn't visit Charlie and Sue for a while, at least until you can better control yourself. After your eyes turn less freaky, and you can control yourself..." He shrugged. "Well, you're welcome to come visit us anytime. Truce, right?"

I couldn't help but smile slightly. "This is quite funny. Wolves and a vampire negotiating such advantageous terms. Alright, truce. I agree to your terms."

"Do you have anything you want to add?" Jacob asked warily.

I exhaled sharply. "I don't have anything left to protect." My lips twitched as a lump formed in my throat. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again, like when he had left.

Without warning, I fell into a squat, closing my eyes. I tried to swallow the lump, but it was no use. Tears gathered in my eyes, but nothing fell. I couldn't even cry properly anymore. I was not human.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jacob whispered. "For everything."

I knew he meant the imprint and the transformation. They blamed themselves for not being able to save me in time. I didn't say that they should've just killed me before the transformation finished its job. I had no purpose in life – what would I do now?

I looked up at him, and my eyes widened when I suddenly saw pictures around his figure. Pictures that I'd seen during the transformation.

I squinted in confusion when I saw him as a newborn baby. I moved onto the next picture and saw him as a one-year old, then two. Three, four, all the way up to now. I saw all the times he'd spent with Lizzie and the pack. The pictures moved too, showing a certain scene at a point in his life.

Interesting. I looked at Sam, and saw the same thing. He was a baby, then numerous scenes of his childhood. I watched him phase for the first time, and I sensed his panic. He had no idea what had happened, and when he returned two weeks later, he couldn't explain to anyone where he'd been.

He saw Emily for the first time, and everything changed. Suddenly, _she_ kept him anchored to this world, not gravity. He loved her with all his being, and he hated himself for hurting Leah. I saw everything that had happened in his life up till now. I even saw myself standing before him, gawking at him in confusion as I registered all these pictures.

Was I insane? How was I able to see a person's entire life? Was this my gift? What had I been able to do as a human that had developed into this weird psychic ability?

"Um, Bella? Are you okay?" Jacob asked. He looked just as confused at my bemused expression, as did the other wolves.

I shook myself awake. I would figure this out later. The pictures were really distracting. I hadn't noticed them until now, when they'd suddenly appeared. Maybe I was able to turn them on and off. Later.

I stood slowly, shaking my head. "Nothing. Tell Charlie and Sue that I love them, alright? And that I'll...check on them once in a while. When I'm better," I added to reassure the tense wolves. They relaxed slightly.

"What will you do, Bells?" Jacob asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'll figure something out. Right now..." I winced as I felt my throat burn again. "I have to go hunt." I started backing away.

They, too, began to retreat slowly. Jacob stayed in his spot, staring at me wistfully. "Bye, Bells. Good luck." And then, he whispered, "Love you. Always."

"Same," I said, smiling. "Be happy, okay?"

Jacob stared at me for a moment longer before turning and jogging ahead of the wolves, back into the forest. One by one, the wolves disappeared too, until one last wolf remained.

Leah looked back at me wistfully, and I saw the worry in her eyes. I cracked another smile and rolled my eyes. "Always worrying about me."

She snorted, shaking her head incredulously. I knew exactly what she was saying: _Are you kidding? Worrying about the bloodsucker? Never!_

Still, I knew she was acting her usual self. I knew her better than that.

"Thanks, Leah," I whispered, now almost at the edge of the forest. "Love you."

She took a few steps toward me, her ears flattening. Her eyes were wide and strangely bright.

"I'll come visit as soon as possible, okay?" I told her. "If you let me, of course."

She snorted again. And then, she wagged her tail twice before turning and trotting after the boys.

And I whirled around too, letting myself break into my very first run to start my very first hunt.

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**AN: After all, she has to live, right? So she's going hunting. We'll find out how she copes with her new immortal life in future chapters. Reviews?**


	7. Chapter 7: Time

**Author's Note: So, I forgot to mention that I'm on spring break. It's only a week, and I'll have tons of studying to do, but I'm trying to update as often as I can. Happy? Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Hunting was easy. I had discovered a mountain lion before I'd gotten very far. I pounced and snapped its neck before sinking my sharp teeth into its throat. The blood soothed my throat somewhat, but when I was finished, I was still thirsty.

I took down two male deer and an elk before feeling too full, despite still being thirsty. My control was better – I could now concentrate on other things before my thirst. Perhaps it would get better in time.

The next thing I thought of were the pictures. There was nothing now, as I was surrounded by the forest. It must be a gift. I could see a person's past and present. After I'd seen Sam's transformation and the situation with Leah and Emily, I understood their story a lot better. I realized how Sam had become such a strict leader.

The pictures showed a person's past and present...and what they were like. Their entire history made up who they were, after all.

It was fascinating, admittedly. But why was this my gift?

I thought back to my human years. I knew that a vampire's gift was based on what they could do as a human. What had I been able to do?

Past...present.

I had found out that the Cullens were vampires. Whatever means I had used to find out, I had done it. I had discovered the truth about the werewolves. Did that count?

Knowledge. That was my gift. To be able to know everything about a person because I could see their past and present.

It could be useful, I suppose, for human charades. And to be on the lookout for danger.

But what was I going to do now? I had some control over myself. I was still a newborn, though, and still dangerous. Would I be strong enough to complete my college education?

I decided to test myself. It was a dangerous risk, only hours after my transformation, but I knew I had to do this. To act human to blend into the regular world. Could I do this without any help?

I ran. I ran from Forks to New York, where I approached the city. It was widely populated here; surely, if I lost control, it wouldn't arise much suspicion, would it? After all, New York City was a popular place for crime.

I waited in an alleyway as dawn approached. I'd been running all night, but I was perfectly fine. That fascinated me. I wasn't tired physically _or_ mentally. Maybe bitter, but fine.

I tensed when I smelled human blood approaching – it was the most compelling scent I'd ever smelled before. I instantly held my breath. I bit my lip as a tall, young man came down the alleyway, walking briskly. He wore a business suit, and I knew from his pictures that he worked at a publishing house. He had a pretty stable job for a man in his mid-twenties, fresh out of college. Impressive.

He shot me a calculating look as he neared me. I probably looked unnaturally stiff. I stared as he walked past, then slowly took a cautious breath. My throat burned, but it was manageable. I didn't have a wild urge to go after him and drink his blood.

I was relieved. If I could do this, I could finish my college education at Dartmouth without any trouble. I decided to give myself a harder test – larger groups.

I waited until it was at least ten o'clock before I held my breath and walked into a clothing store. I needed to wear something that covered my skin up. I stayed within the shadows, since the sun was out, but it was hard to do so. I used vampire speed to get from one shade to another, and nobody noticed.

"Hello!" a girl chirped. "How may I help you today?"

"Um..." I looked around. Perhaps it hadn't been wise to come to New York after all. It was summer, and perfectly sunny. The store was filled with summer clothes – shorts, tank tops, and slippers. I smiled sheepishly. "Do you have any clothes that would cover my skin up?"

She looked at me strangely. "Um...it's summer."

"I know," I said quickly. "But you see, my skin is sensitive to the sun. I burn easily." I shot her a grin, taking care not to show all my teeth. I couldn't risk scaring her right now.

At that moment, two women walked into the store. They began browsing through the racks of clothes, and the store manager came out from her office and went behind the cashier.

Slowly, I took a breath. The thirst was harder to contain, but I could still think clearly. There were four humans in here, and I was leaving them alive. College would be safe.

"Oh, of course," the girl said. "Hm, we might have a few outfits left over from last season. I'll go check."

I nodded once before she ran off into the storage room. I caught a glimpse of my reflection for the first time in the mirror. I drifted closer, amazed.

I was beautiful. For the first time in my life, I could admit that I was actually beautiful. My skin was paler than it had been when I was human, but other than that, I was fine. My eyes were red, and it was the only scary thing about me. I wondered if the girl hadn't noticed, or merely thought they were color contacts.

My hair, which I'd neglected to cut, nearly reached the middle of my back, and it was slightly wavy. Had my chest been that big? Had I been this curvy?

The answer was no. Vampire venom was extremely powerful. It was like I had gained beauty in place of mortality. I would give anything to trade back.

"I found a couple items," the girl said, returning with dark, skinny jeans, a blue button-down blouse, and a black parka. "Are these okay?"

"They're perfect, thank you," I answered. "How much?"

I didn't have much money with me, for I had left my wallet at home before I'd gone hiking. I always kept fifty dollars with me in case of emergencies, though. Would it be enough?

The girl smiled. "These are off season. I checked with the manager, and she said it's okay if you just take it."

I was relieved. "Thank you."

I changed quickly into the new outfit and put on my hiking boots again. They would do until I got back to Dartmouth. I would have to find a house nearby the school to stay in, and find a job to earn money. I would have to transfer into night classes when I returned to school.

I breathed in the humans' scents once more as I thanked the girl again before zipping up the parka and pulling up the hood. I walked out quickly with my head bowed and my hands in my pockets.

I sensed people's confusion at my outfit as I passed. I was eager to return home. I had a lot of things to do.

**Edward's Point of View**

I resisted the urge to put my hands over my ears and escape to my room. Alice had forced me out into the living room for the first time in years. I was stuck listening to the normal sounds that my family was making.

Esme was dusting. Alice was chatting away as she arranged the flowers. Rosalie was on the computer, designing clothes on the super-sensitive touch screen. Emmett and Jasper were playing chess. They muttered profanities and distractions to affect the other's concentration. Carlisle was reading a classic book that he'd undoubtedly read about a million times already.

Everything was so normal. Normal was _abnormal_ for me. Nothing could ever be normal for me if she was gone. It was unnatural, everything that was happening. I appreciated the fact that my family was trying to act normally for me, but it wasn't working. There were no distractions from this agony.

I wondered if I could get away with the excuse of having to hunt. I had hunted yesterday with Emmett and Jasper. Since my eyes would still be light, I knew that they wouldn't fall for it.

I flinched when Emmett yelled, "Aw, Jasper! That's not fair!"

I had known that he was going to yell. I had heard it in his thoughts a split second before he was going to shout, but I was jerky. My knee was bouncing up and down anxiously. I was dying to escape.

If I told them that I would travel alone for a while, they wouldn't let me. I had wandered away the first year I'd left Bella. I hadn't come back until six months later, and I knew that my family had been devastated and incomplete without me. They would try to stop me, and I knew I couldn't do that to them again.

I glanced at the calendar on the wall in a corner. Today marked the seventh year I'd left her. It was impossible. Every day was unbearable for me. Agony. Pain.

I had cheated a couple times, and gone back to Forks. I'd found out that Charlie had remarried to Sue Clearwater a couple of years ago. So Bella had step-siblings now. I also knew that they were werewolves. Had she known this fact?

I'd stayed away from the wolves, but had been close enough to hear Charlie and Sue's thoughts. They did think about Bella a few times, but they had mainly been wondering how she was doing. And I knew: Bella was not maintaining contact with her family.

Leah Clearwater, the oldest of the two, had waved aside Sue's worry. I'd discovered that she always acted careless to everything due to her past history with Sam Uley. But I'd been glad that she did care for Bella, and she, too, was worried at the lack of contact.

When I'd gone back a couple years later, hoping for news about Bella, I had ended up with nothing but the same worry and curiosity. What was Bella doing? She would be twenty-five. Where did she live? What did she do for a living? Why didn't she call home?

I was even more frustrated at the lack of news, and Alice hadn't seen anything. It was as though she had disappeared from the face of the world.

_Stop sulking!_ Rosalie snapped as she drifted toward Emmett and Jasper. _It's making me depressed._

"I'm sorry," I murmured, closing my eyes and trying to shut off everything.

_I know you're frustrated._ Rosalie sighed as she nudged Emmett to get him to notice that his knight was in danger. _I suppose I can't really blame you, but that doesn't mean I won't get pissed at you, you know._

My lips twitched slightly.

_But I have to admit, you_ are_ getting better,_ she thought reluctantly._ I think you've found some ways to cope._

"It's still painful," I answered.

She shrugged. _At least you aren't destroying everything you see._

I couldn't argue with that.

**Bella's Point of View**

I set aside the last of the students' essays and rose from my desk. I put on a white cardigan before heading for the front door.

My eyes were getting black, and I'd been neglecting to feed myself this past week. The white cardigan was probably a dangerous thing to wear while on a hunt, but I'd gotten much better at drinking without getting blood on my clothes.

I had just moved to Canada. I had been motivated by curiosity – I had always wanted to visit the country. It had a lot of forests and wildlife, perfect for vampires. I'd chosen a town where the weather was hardly sunny, similar to Forks.

I taught English Literature at a nearby university. I'd come near the end of the year, and had replaced a professor that had passed away abruptly. I had been teaching for a few years now, having gotten a job right after graduating from Dartmouth. I taught strictly night classes, returning home at five in the morning and leaving for school again at eight o'clock in the evening. Needing no food or other necessities like humans did, the salary I earned began piling up until I had all the money I didn't need. I didn't know what I was saving for, but it felt nice to be doing something normal.

I'd gotten much better at perfecting my thirst. My control was better than an average vampire, I knew, having met a few nomads that were passing through. Luckily, they'd only been curious about who was in the area, and had been on their way, just as eager to stay away from other vampires.

I had also improved with handling my gift. I was now able to turn off the pictures at will, and turn them back on when I needed a quick overview of someone. It was fairly easy to do, and I couldn't practice anymore to enhance the gift. It was a simple ability.

I'd also discovered another gift that I had. I had come across a vampire who had had the ability to sense a vampire's gift, or a human's potential should they become one. He had told me of the gift of knowledge, which I'd already known about, and also informed me about a mental shield that was placed inside my mind. This made sense why Edward hadn't been able to read my mind – I was completely protected by this shield.

The vampire had suggested that I practice projecting the shield so that I could shield others besides myself. I'd thanked him for the tip, and had begun practicing. I was now able to extend the shield to about twenty feet without much concentration.

My fashion sense had improved along with the way I held myself. If I had hunched over when I was human, trying to make myself small and hated attention, I now walked gracefully and confidently. Either way, my enhanced beauty drew all eyes toward me – I might as well choose to look dignified.

I quickly took down several deer before returning home. It was nearly time to go to work. I took a quick shower, since I'd been met with rain on my hunt, and dressed quickly before heading outside to my silver Mercedes-Benz.

I finally understood the Cullens' need for more than decent cars and speed while driving. I did the exact same thing, despite the fact that I was a police chief's daughter. I couldn't stand driving under eighty – it was so boring that I would rather run.

I greeted a couple of my fellow professors as I headed for my classroom. I winced internally when passing male students' eyes followed my chest, then the rest of my body. I knew exactly what they thought of me, thanks to my gift of knowledge, and I eagerly turned it off, not wanting to see any vulgar thoughts about me.

I entered the classroom and stopped short when I saw Patrick Gilmore, a fellow English Lit professor, waiting for me. I stopped myself from cursing just in time – he had been obsessed with trying to get me to go on a date with him since day one.

He was okay-looking, I suppose, and quite tall. He was a good teacher, but he seemed to forget the fact that he was thirty-five, and I was posing as a twenty-five year old. A huge ten-year gap difference didn't seem to faze him at all.

Of course, I was frozen at the age of twenty. But I looked mature enough to pass as twenty-five, though I probably couldn't pass for another year. I was always known as one of the youngest professors wherever I taught.

I had to take a deep breath before maintaining my polite, calm attitude. "Good evening, Patrick."

He grinned widely as he said hello to my chest. I winced again. "You seem to be getting younger every day, Bella."

I shot him a weak smile and began preparing for my class. "Do you need help with anything?"

"Ah, not really," Patrick replied. "I was just wondering if you wanted to eat breakfast with me tomorrow. We can go right after class ends – there's a diner that opens at four in the morning."

Sigh. How to let him down in the nicest way possible for the hundredth time?

"I'm sorry, Patrick," I said. "I have plans."

"Plans?" He raised his eyebrow. "We end class at five, Bella. You have plans at five in the morning?"

Wince. "I actually do." I paused for a millisecond to think up a lie. He barely noticed. "I have to go pick up my boyfriend from the airport. He's arriving on a seven-thirty flight."

I watched as his face fell considerably. "You never told me that you had a boyfriend."

"The subject never came up," I said smoothly.

"Okay, then," Patrick said, slouching toward the door. "Have a good time."

"Thank you." I felt a slight pang of guilt as the door closed behind him. But it didn't look like he would be trying to hit on me again, thankfully. Why hadn't I told that lie sooner?

One by one, the students began to arrive. They all looked weary, as exams were approaching. No doubt they were juggling between part-time jobs, studying, and classes. I'd done it too, although I hadn't needed any sleep.

The bell rang, and I smiled slightly at my half-dead class. "Good evening, everyone. I trust you all finished your reading?"

There were a couple of murmurs, but I wasn't disappointed. I knew that night classes were hard. The students respected me as a teacher, though I was young. They regarded me as a good professor, for which I was grateful.

"Good. Then you don't mind if I ask you a couple questions?" I asked, hiding a smile.

That woke them up. Some looked alarmed as they sat up, hastily taking out their copy of the book to skim through it.

I laughed softly. "No worries. I was only kidding. I decided to extend your deadline for reading, since I know some of you are having a hard time dealing with other aspects of your lives. I will be giving you a short-answer test on the entire book next Tuesday instead. Is that fair?"

They all looked relieved. One boy called, "You're the best, Miss Swan!"

I smiled. "I've heard."

They laughed lightly.

"Now, I'm sure you really don't need any more reminders about this, but finals are approaching." I smiled apologetically when they all groaned. "I know, I know. But I'm about to tell you how to ace your final."

They were alert, drinking my every word.

"Your final exam will be an essay," I said. "An answer to a question that I will give you now. You have two weeks to think about it, write it, and turn it in. It will be due on the last day of school. Which is next Friday, if I'm not mistaken."

A collective sigh went around the classroom. Someone groaned, "Do we have to?"

"Yes, you do. But I'll make a deal with you: You work your butt off on that final essay, and I'll let you leave early after you turn it in." I winked. "How's that?"

"Deal!" someone blurted out. They all laughed, and he looked embarrassed.

Curious that he'd sounded so desperate, I focused my gift on him, and turned it on. I watched as his eyes widened in horror – his grandfather had had a heart attack in front of him a few weeks ago, and he needed to take care of him over the summer.

I switched it off. I was now convinced that I was doing the right thing. "I'm glad you approve. So think about this." I paused, waiting for them as they took out their notebooks and writing utensils. "What does life mean to you?"

They all looked up simultaneously, confused. They'd been expecting me to give them a topic on the book they were currently reading, but I had been wondering about this question since I'd gotten changed.

I was immortal now, never changing. The only man that I'd loved had abandoned me, and I was left bitter and bored with life. Life was nothing to me now. There was no real motivation for me.

But what did humans think?

I smiled gently. "That's your topic. What does life mean to you? That's easy enough, don't you think?"

They exchanged excited glances – this essay was probably the easiest final they had.

A girl raised her hand, looking bemused. "What kind of answers are you looking for, Miss Swan?"

"That's a good question," I said. "Anything. Everyone's meaning in life is different. We all have different reasons for living, different goals we want to achieve." I looked around the classroom. "Does anyone have any examples to give to Grace?"

A hand shot up in the back of the room. "Food!"

I laughed along with the rest of the students. "Food, certainly. Food is essential for living. Anyone else?"

Another hand shot up. "Family."

I paused, thinking back to my own family back in Forks. I had purposely neglected to keep in contact with them, for fear I would put them in danger. One could never know what could potentially happen, and with my luck, I would bring nothing but trouble to them.

"That's right," I agreed softly. "Family is important."

"Do _you_ live with your family, Miss Swan?" someone asked.

I studied their curious faces slowly. "I do not."

"Why not?"

I smiled vaguely, shrugging. "I have a career here, and they have their own. We're family, yes, but we lead our own separate lives."

They looked fascinated at my answer, as they usually always did. "Anyone else want to share their ideas?"

A girl grinned as she said, "Love."

The students started giggling and teasing one another. They didn't notice me wincing at the term. I automatically glanced at the calendar that hung on a nail on the back wall of the classroom.

Seven years. Seven years since he'd left me. Seven years since I'd seen him. Seven years since I'd been bitter.

Though I resented that he'd left me in this miserable, never ending life, I often wondered what he was doing. Would he have found his distraction? Did he find someone else he loved? Did he think about me sometimes?

"Miss Swan!"

I looked back at the girl who had suggested love. "Yes, Audrey?"

"Are you okay?" Audrey asked worriedly. "You totally blanked out."

I was startled. "Did I? I apologize." I looked back down at my schedule book, wondering what I had planned next.

"Did _you_ have someone you loved to death, Miss Swan?" Audrey asked.

I looked up and saw that the entire class was waiting expectantly. "What makes you think so?"

A boy named Simon snorted. "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? You're beautiful – every guy would want to be your boyfriend, right?"

I cracked a smile. "Well, I'm flattered, Simon. Thank you."

He blushed. "Uh, no prob."

"So did you?" Audrey prompted.

My eyes grew faraway. _You are my life now._ "Yes, I did."

"Was he handsome?" someone blurted out.

"Was he tall and smart like you?"

"What happened to him? Are you still seeing him?"

"No, you dolt, she just said she _did_. Past tense!"

_It will be as if I'd never existed._

My fists balled up, and I had to try hard not to break the desk in front of me.

"Shut up, let her talk!"

The room quieted as they waited for me to answer.

I smiled ruefully. "Yes, he was handsome. Yes, he was tall and smart. And no, I'm not seeing him anymore."

"Told you," someone hissed.

"Why? Did you break up?" Audrey asked innocently. Her eyes were wide as she sympathized.

"Hm," I mused, wondering how to phrase it correctly. I didn't want to get into it too deeply. "Let's just say that love moves. He didn't love me anymore."

"Aw..." the girls chorused, pouting.

"Well, he was stupid, then," Simon said. "Why would he let go of someone like you?"

I smiled more widely. "I'm sure he had his reasons." I turned back to Grace. "So there you are. You can use any of those ideas. I want all of you to use personal stories to back up your reasoning. You know the drill.

"I'm going to give you the rest of class to brainstorm your ideas. You can start writing your rough draft, if you'd like. This is independent study time, so you may do whatever you choose to do, as long as it's related to the essay topic. Carry on."

I watched as they all got busy, jotting down their notes quickly and excitedly. My eyes fell back on the calendar.

Would he even know how long it's been?

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**AN: She seems so sad. And he seems so agonized. Reviews?**


	8. Chapter 8: Purpose

**Author's Note: Oh, my, what is this? Three updates in a week? You'd better believe it. Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 8**

After years of moving around and teaching English Literature, the cycle did become entirely too boring to continue. I wanted change. Since I had nothing _but_ time, I decided to go back to school.

I'd always been amazed at Carlisle's ability to endure staying in hospitals, where he would be exposed to blood all the time. I was pretty confident of my own self-control to give it a shot.

I had started taking pre-med courses at the University of Maine while continuing to teach at a small community college nearby. I kept this a secret, however – people would think it strange if I took night classes at U Maine and taught during the day. They would start to wonder if I slept at all.

I was able to finish early and proceed onto medical school. I quit my job as a professor and took on the role of a student again. I was in the process of going through my residency, and I fairly enjoyed the experience. It was harder to be around blood all the time, and I had to make sure I was constantly well-fed, but I liked the fact that I was strong enough to do these things.

I paused in the act of pulling on my lab coat. One of my colleagues were putting up the correct month on the calendar. September. The month marked the fourteenth year he'd left me. I didn't know how I was surviving each day without him. As much as I hated to admit it, I didn't know how to stop loving him.

"Jeez," the colleague said. "September already. Why does the year go by so fast?" He shook his head as he put on his lab coat. He winked at me playfully. "Right, Bella?"

I smiled minutely in response. He had no idea how slowly, yet quickly time passed for me. "Right."

**Edward's Point of View**

School. Boring and repetitive. Still, I had to give the humans credit – the advancement in technology was amazing.

I was currently aiming for another medical degree at the University of Montana, while my siblings took on such subjects as engineering, law, and music. Having been persuaded by my family to return to school, and thus, return to the usual human charade, I had consented to join my siblings in the act. Staying home and sulking did nothing to make me feel better, after all.

This didn't mean that I wasn't immune to depression. Bella was constantly in my thoughts, even as I listened to the professors' lectures. It was like she was listening with me.

Our final years in college were, again, coming to an end. Rosalie was disappointed, needless to say. She hated moving around, and proposed that we go back to high school next time.

But Alice had been bored with law, and wanted to return to another college to get another degree in fashion. Unable to rein her in, Rosalie had reluctantly consented to moving to the University of Minnesota after graduation.

"Next time," Rosalie grumbled as we all moved into our new home in Minnesota. "We're going back to high school."

"You can do that," Carlisle agreed. "I think it _would_ get tiresome after going to college for eight years in a row."

Alice scoffed. "I don't get why you want to go back to high school, Rose. You'll have to pose as a senior anyway."

She shrugged. "High school is a lot more boring, but I like that it's a lot less pressurizing than college."

"Like we _are_ under pressure," Emmett teased, laughing.

My eyes drifted to the calendar. It was September, marking the fourteenth year that I'd left her. Her birthday would have passed by now, making her thirty-two. I hadn't gone back to Forks, resigning myself to living without news about her. Would she have married by now? Have kids?

I was dying without her. Would this pain get any better?

**Bella's Point of View**

"Bella, hurry!" a colleague of mine yelled. "Maternity case coming in!"

I was a resident emergency physician, so I was always actively running around in human pace and trying to save humans. This also meant that I was constantly surrounded by open wounds and blood. It had taken some getting used to, feeding more carefully than I usually did.

I was confused as I followed him outside to receive the patient. "Shouldn't they be going to the maternity ward, then?"

"The mother has a heart condition," he informed me, bouncing up and down as we waited for the ambulance. "She fainted."

My eyes widened, and fear instantly gripped my heart. _How did you handle these situations, Carlisle?_

I watched as the loud sirens approached, and the doors opened. My eyes flickered to a man in his late twenties, who jumped off the ambulance, looking wild and panicked. He was undoubtedly the woman's husband.

"Janet!" he said desperately. "Janet! It's going to be alright! You're fine!"

The woman had regained consciousness, it seemed, but she was clutching her bloated stomach absently, looking confused. "My stomach...hurts..."

I judged from the size of her stomach that she was in her final month. I ran with my colleague and the EMTs, and arrived at the emergency room. I could've moved her just fine alone, but I let the men transfer her onto the hospital bed.

I couldn't move. I had no idea what to do. My head was blank, void of all information that I'd studied at school. I watched in the background as my colleagues and more experienced doctors rushed in to check on the mother.

The husband was proving to be difficult. He was refusing to leave his wife's side, and the nurse was having trouble getting him to move out of the way. "Sir, you have to let us handle this!"

I decided to intervene. I laid a hand on his shoulder. "Sir."

My musical voice must have alerted him. He stared at me, wide-eyed, as if he'd seen the inhumanly beautiful, pale resident doctor for the first time.

"Let us handle it," I told him softly. "We'll take care of your wife."

He nodded slowly after a moment. He let me lead him out of the area, and he sat down on the bench in the waiting room. He looked blank, as though the shock was wearing off.

I envied the woman. It must be reassuring to know that someone loved her to death and worried about her constantly. I hoped the mother and her baby were safe.

"Why aren't you in there?" the man asked abruptly. "With them? Saving her?"

I bit my lip guiltily. "I sort of...blanked out...when I saw her. I had no idea what to do."

He looked at me. "Are you a resident?"

I nodded. "It's my job to take care of her, but..." I shrugged. "We all kind of freeze up sometimes." I smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No, no. I saw all those doctors trying to save her. I think she'll be fine." He sighed, leaning back against the wall. "I was just hysterical, you know? She was fine one minute, and the next, she was collapsing, and... Well, you can imagine."

"Of course," I said softly, listening to my colleagues stabilize her condition. "She'll be fine." I could already hear her heartbeat level off normally.

He nodded, then held out his hand. "Steven Bones."

I hesitated before shaking it. He looked surprised at my cold hand. "Bella Swan."

"You look pretty young to be a resident," he commented, scrutinizing my face observantly. "Doesn't it take, like, a million years to even become a resident? You know, going through college, then medical school..."

I laughed quietly. "It does. I guess I'm just well-preserved."

He smiled, though it was strained. "You look at least twenty to me."

I was startled, for I had never met a human so observant. I studied him closely, opening up my gift to him and observing his past and present. I understood. Steven Bones was an unusually sharp man, quite open-minded, and intelligent. I had to be careful. He was already suspecting that I wasn't normal, what with my pale skin, cold hands, beautiful features, and golden eyes.

But I knew that he was someone who respected people's privacy, and even if he found out my secret, he would never confront me and keep it to himself. I liked him for that.

"You married pretty early, didn't you?" I asked.

He looked sheepish. "Janet and I were both twenty-five. We've been married for about two years now." He nodded back to the emergency room. "She's working on our first child." He sighed. "I hope the kid's going to be okay."

"What's the gender?" I asked, though I'd already seen the answer in his past. He'd been so happy when he'd heard the news...

"Girl." He broke into a wide grin. "I can't wait. I hope she looks like her mother."

* * *

Janet was indeed a beautiful woman for a human. And with Steven's handsome looks, I was sure the daughter was going to be breaking a lot of hearts.

Steven introduced me to his wife once she'd been stabilized and moved to a private ward. Janet was a charming woman, gracious and loving. She reminded me of Esme.

"Thank you for keeping Steve company, Bella," she said, smiling. "I know he was very worried."

My eyes drifted to her belly. "Congratulations on your baby girl, Janet," I responded softly. "You must be very pleased."

She laughed weakly. "I only hope I'm strong enough to give birth." She sighed. "That's my only wish."

I focused my attention on her, watching as she went through her childhood and finally grew up to meet Steven. They'd loved each other happily, until Janet had gotten the news about her heart disease. She'd refused to kill her baby to get treatment, and I was surprised to see that she and Steven had already accepted the fact that she wasn't going to make it. Steven was readily accepting that he would have to take care of his daughter alone.

Their decision was very impressive, and I was amazed by their acceptance. It couldn't have been easy.

"You're so very beautiful," Janet whispered, staring at me. "You look like you could be a model, or an actress."

I smiled slightly. "Thank you. So are you, Janet."

She chuckled weakly. "I hope my Renesmee will be just as beautiful as you will be."

"Renesmee?"

"It's our daughter's name," Janet said, her eyes widening innocently. "It's unique and one of a kind. What do you think?"

"I think it's beautiful," I told her sincerely. "It'll fit her perfectly."

Steven excused himself to go to the bathroom. "Be right back, Janet."

Janet nodded and watched as the door closed behind him. I saw tears glistening in her eyes. She looked back at me, looking desperate now. She grabbed my hand in hers, startling me.

"Bella, will you do me a favor?" she asked. "I know that I'm not going to make it. So does Steve, but he'll live in guilt after I'm gone. He won't take care of himself. Can you look after him? Can you look after Renesmee?"

My eyes widened. "Janet..."

"You're special," she whispered. "I know you are. You're so beautiful and pale...you have golden eyes..."

I wondered if she knew something. She undoubtedly knew that I was not normal, like her husband did, and I was amazed once more at the couple's open-mindedness.

"Watch over Steve and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, will you?" she pleaded. "You can do that, right? You have the power to do it."

I just stared at her, dumbfounded. I was suddenly reminded of Carlisle's past – Elizabeth Masen had been begging him for the same thing, to take care of her son. To do anything in his power to save him. Had he felt this way too? Shocked and undecided?

"And promise me that you'll take care of Renesmee," she said fiercely. "Take care of her. Make sure she grows healthy and strong. It'd be nice if she could become a lawyer...or a doctor. I want to see her when she gets married, but I can't do that. You must do it instead. Will you, Bella? Will you?"

I couldn't find the will to answer. This woman trusted me. A vampire, though she didn't know it. Of course, I would never harm her husband or her child, but to ask so much of someone she'd just met...

Before I knew what I was doing, I was gripping her weak hands in my cold ones. "I promise, Janet."

She smiled, relieved. "Thank...you..."

As if on cue, she grimaced in pain. She began crying out as she clutched her stomach. She was in labor.

I immediately pressed the call button above her head. "Janet Bones is in labor. I need assistance!"

About ten seconds later, two nurses and three doctors rushed in, and I helped them transfer Janet to the maternity ward. I started panicking when someone declared that her disease was messing with her condition.

And then, Steven was there, yelling Janet's name as I held him back from going into the operation room. I watched as Janet disappeared through the doors, wishing her luck.

* * *

Steven was crying quietly. We'd just gotten word that his daughter was safe and healthy. And that Janet would never see her daughter's cute face.

"Janet..." he murmured. "Janet..." He looked so heartbroken, and I wanted to cry too. I cursed immortality. I would live forever, and humans would continue to die. Talk about unfair.

I still couldn't grasp that Janet was dead. It hadn't been my first death experience, working in the emergency room, but it had certainly affected me the most. I couldn't work in the hospital anymore. If this was what I had to deal with every day, then I had to leave. Carlisle was strong enough to do it, but I wasn't.

I'd resolved to quit my goal of becoming a doctor. I would assist Steven in getting settled and help him raise his daughter instead. It was the least I could do, and I had promised Janet.

Steven was strong enough. He wouldn't do anything stupid, because it would be an insult to Janet's memory. I knew that she had made him promise to be a responsible father a few days before, and I also knew that he would keep that promise.

His cries vanished. He was wiping his face, sniffling. He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. "I heard you, you know."

I glanced at him.

"I heard you promising Janet that you'll take care of us," he clarified, and I had to look away. "But you don't have to do that. I can take care of her just fine. I mean, I'm sure that you're more than capable of doing that, but..." He shook his head, sighing. "You don't owe us anything."

I stared into space, recalling her words. "Maybe I don't. But I'd like to, if you'd allow me."

We were waiting for the nurse to bring out Renesmee. She would be Janet's replica, perhaps, or Steven. I had never been one of those people who were obsessed with children, and I'd never thought about having children of my own. I couldn't now, anyway, but seeing Janet had changed my opinion. I found myself yearning for a child of my own. What would it feel like, to have a new life moving around in your own body? It seemed like a miracle, despite scientific explanations to describe how a woman could create life.

He sighed again. He sounded exhausted but resigned, as though he had finally accepted the death of his wife. "How will you do it? I mean...you're a doctor."

I fingered my lab coat. "I decided I want to quit."

He looked at me quickly. "What? You want to quit being a doctor?"

I nodded. "I can't stand it anymore. Seeing death."

"But..." He frowned. "But it took you so long to get here. So much money. That doesn't bother you?"

I shrugged. "Money means nothing to me." It was the truth. I'd earned a lot teaching students, and I had a perfectly comfortable life ahead of me, even if I didn't work for a few years.

"It would be a waste of your time."

"Believe me, I have a lot of time."

He looked disbelieving. "Are you sure? I mean, I'd feel guilty, knowing that we'd stand in the way of your career."

I smiled wistfully. "I can't think of anything better to do, actually."

He studied me before smiling gratefully. "Thank you, Bella. As much as I hate to admit it...I have no idea how to be a father."

I chuckled softly, then rose when I saw the nurse coming back. "That makes two of us. Guess we'll have to learn, right?"

I was completely entranced with the little girl with ringlets she'd inherited from her mother and her beautiful brown eyes that she'd inherited from her father. She was a cute little thing, squirmy and fussy.

One look at her, and I knew she'd had me completely wrapped around her little finger. I fell in love with her instantly.

I watched as Steven held his daughter for the first time. I smiled when his lips spread into a wondrous grin, grief momentarily forgotten.

"Renesmee," he murmured. "You're so beautiful."

I was surprised when the little girl cooed instead of crying. She held out her hand toward me, and I automatically took it. I grinned when her powerful hand squeezed my index finger. My cold skin didn't seem to bother her. In fact, she seemed to like the cool feeling.

"Do you want to hold her?" Steven offered.

My eyes widened when he proceeded to pass me his daughter. I held her stiffly, wondering what I had to do. And then, when Renesmee smiled at me, I relaxed, knowing that I would do anything in the world for this child.

Even risk my own life to protect hers.

* * *

**AN: And...enter Renesmee. Now you know how Bella and Renesmee gets acquainted. She won't be her real mother, of course, but seeing as how Renesmee will never have known her real mother, Bella will be the only mother she knows. **

**Review? What did you think? You know, if you give me lots of love, you might get another update before the week ends...maybe Sunday. I mean, I'm just saying. Hint, hint? Hopeful wink?**


	9. Chapter 9: Encounter

**Author's Note: TIME SKIP! You'll love Steven and Renesmee, I guarantee it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Six Years Later**

Steven was an unusually sharp human. It always amazed me to realize how much. He knew that there was something strange about me, but he never dug in deeper than that. He'd caught me moving in vampire speed when he had accidentally dropped Renesmee. He had been stunned, but never asked questions, and I kept him on a strict need-to-know basis. He didn't complain.

Renesmee was now six years old, and in the first grade. She was an intelligent child, quick with calculations and deductions. She was quite open-minded, having gotten the trait from her parents, and she, too, knew vaguely that I was not normal.

She thought me fascinating. By the age of four, she would be asking me to get her teddy bear from her room in less than a second, and I would amusedly comply. She would giggle and clap her hands. She never asked questions.

They noticed that I never ate, but occasionally left the house in the middle of the night. They assumed that I knew what I was doing and trusted me wholeheartedly. And for that, I was grateful. Need-to-know basis was good for all three of us. It was fine.

Age was important. It was noticeable. Renesmee grew, and Steven aged into his thirties. And they watched me in my twenty-year old body.

I posed as Renesmee's cousin, and Steven's niece. I was young enough to get away with it. I attended the local high school and even graduated before I told them that I had to move on. They willingly obliged to move to a small town in upper Maine.

I applied at the town's only high school, population three hundred. It reminded me a lot of Forks High School, reminded me of home. I felt homesick. I hadn't contacted my family in twenty years. Would they still be happy and safe?

Renesmee, or Nessie, as people sometimes called her, loved our new town. We continued to pose as cousins, and though we did not look alike, the neighbors thought it sweet that I was so protective of her, like an older sister.

I would pick her up from the elementary school after school ended. I would cook for her and put her to bed until Steven, a middle school teacher, came home around seven. I would listen to him about his day, then tell him about mine. He would fall asleep on the couch sometimes, watching TV, and I would carry him easily to his bedroom. And then, if I needed to, I would go hunting before returning to do my homework and get ready for the morning.

I'd grown to love the both of them. Steven was nothing but a friend and someone like a brother. I was quite fond of him and thought his bluntness extremely cute when it came to women. How he'd managed to capture Janet's heart was a mystery.

Renesmee was a different story. I loved her with all my heart, like she was my own daughter. She was cute and playful, and I loved to hear her laugh. She adored me, and while she stuck to the story about us being cousins, she would treat me as her real older sister, telling me all her secrets and swearing me to secrecy.

I'd never thought that I would find another purpose in my cursed, immortal life like this. To care for humans as they grew and aged – it truly was satisfying to see it happen to people that I loved. I finally understood why Edward had refused to change me when I'd wanted forever with him. I could never bring myself to change Steven or Renesmee, even if I knew that they would die someday, leaving me alone.

I would not damn them to this bitter life.

I ignored all the stares as I waited for the first graders to come out. I leaned against the side of my car, listening to Renesmee's teacher finish up her announcements. I closed my eyes as the rain began to fall over the sleepy town. While the other parents scrambled to get under their umbrellas, I welcomed the droplets. I had learned to love the cold weather, when I could go outside and act normal. Act human.

I listened as the parents all called out the names of their children. Choruses of "How was your day?" and "Did you have fun today?" could be heard. Again, I yearned for a child of my own. I yearned to be human, so that I could age as I watched my own children grow.

"Bella!"

I opened my eyes as I instantly recognized the cute voice of Renesmee that I was so attuned to. She was waddling toward me in her puffy parka, with her Hello Kitty backpack on her back. She couldn't risk running because she would fall, but she held out her arms as she approached, smiling sweetly as she embraced me.

"Hi, sweetheart," I whispered, kissing her cheek lightly. "How was your day?"

She kissed my cheek adorably. "I had fun. Bobby thinks I'm cute."

"What?" I withdrew, smiling. "He said that?"

She nodded fervently. "We were playing truth or dare during recess. He picked truth, and when Ted asked who he thought was cutest in the class, he picked me." She smiled, pleased with herself.

I picked her up easily and opened the back door of the car, placing her into the car seat and buckling her up. "Well, I think he has an eye for girls."

She laughed. "You're only saying that because you're my sister."

I kissed her nose. "No, I'm not. Ask your dad."

"He'll say the same thing!" she exclaimed.

I chuckled as I closed the door and walked around the Mercedes. I slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. "He'll only be saying that because you _are_ cute."

She giggled. "I think Bobby likes me."

"I think so too." I smiled at her fondly through the rear view mirror.

I drove slowly whenever Renesmee was in the car. Not that she would be in danger of a car accident when I was driving, but I was afraid she would grow up to drive just like me. She was vulnerable and human. And even though she liked the speed, I didn't want her to get in trouble with the law.

"What's for dinner?" she asked as we passed the trees on the way home.

"What would you like?"

She thought for a moment before declaring, "Macaroni!"

I laughed. "Silly Nessie. You're always picking food that we don't have at home."

She perked up. "Yay! Store time!"

She loved to go shopping with me at the grocery store. She loved the coolness of the store, and the smell of the flowers that the florist sold. She never begged me to buy her candy and silly toys, but she did love to browse the different cereals that the store sold. She was a strange girl with stranger hobbies, but I loved her to death.

When we arrived at the store, I placed her on the child seat in the cart before strolling down the aisles. I'd needed to go grocery shopping, so macaroni was the perfect excuse.

Renesmee giggled in delight when she saw a newly designed box of her favorite cereal. I let her place one into the cart, for we were running out on that as well. I smiled when she asked to go to the bathroom, raising her hand calmly as though she was in class.

When she returned, we headed for the cashier to pay. The cashier was my fellow junior of Lincoln High School, Ian Gomez. He worked part-time in the grocery store, and I didn't mind seeing him around town, though I wasn't very close with him.

He greeted us cheerfully as he began scanning our items. "Hey, Bella. Hiya, Ness!"

Renesmee grinned and waved hi. Everyone in town knew her. She did have memorable features, with her face still full of baby fat and cute dimples.

"Did you hear the rumor, Bella?" Ian asked as I handed over my credit card. "There's going to be a couple of new kids in town tomorrow."

"Oh?" I said politely. "Teenagers?"

He nodded as he handed the card back to me. "I think two of them are juniors, the others seniors. I can't wait to see how they look like." He grinned as he handed the receipt to me. "Have a nice day. Bye, Ness!"

Renesmee waved bye as I continued on to the car. She turned to me. "New kids in town. That's exciting."

I smiled. "Is it?"

She pouted. "It is, in this small town. We hardly get new kids, and Ian said it's more than one person. I wonder what they look like."

I ruffled her hair lightly. "We'll see."

* * *

I dropped Renesmee off at school the next morning. She waddled her way into the playground before tripping over her own feet. Worried, I took one step toward her before she jumped back up and looked back, waving at me cheerfully. "I'm okay!"

I smiled in relief and waved as she continued on like a penguin. I cursed winter for approaching, though I was relieved. Sunny days were rare in winter, and I could be out more often.

I continued on toward school. As I neared the parking lot, I could hear the amazed exclamations and whispers spreading throughout the entire school. The new kids must have arrived.

I turned into the parking lot, parked in my usual spot in the farthest corner, and got out. I swung my bag on one shoulder and locked the car as I walked away toward the building.

"Jeez, look at it glow!"

"I think it has full options. Do you know how much that would cost?"

They were undoubtedly going on about the new kids' cars. My Mercedes was the shiniest car in town, and it drew a lot of attention. If the new kids had better cars than I did, fine by me. I hated attention; that hadn't changed.

"Guys!" I had to stop in my tracks when the office TA ran out of the building, zooming past me to approach his friends. "I saw the new kids! They're in the office right now, getting their schedules."

It became apparent that they must have arrived earlier than the rest of the students, and they hadn't seen the new kids yet. People instantly began to question about them.

"What do they look like?"

"How many are there?"

"Do they look rich?"

The TA held up his hands dramatically for silence. "They're incredibly hot."

The girls gasped excitedly. "How many boys?"

"Three. And two girls. The girls are just freaking awesome. You should see the blonde, she's beautiful!"

"What about the boys?" the girls asked impatiently.

"They're freakishly handsome," the TA answered. "But don't get your hopes up. They're the adopted children of the new doctor in town. They're siblings but some of them are, like, together _together_. It's weird. The girls are taken."

"That still leaves one guy!" a girl squealed. "He's single, right? Is he hot?"

"He's okay," the TA admitted reluctantly. "But he ain't gonna go for you, Val. He's out of your league."

"Shut up!"

"I'm serious," he insisted. "He won't go for you."

The whole thing sounded so familiar to me. Three guys, two girls? It couldn't be. Of all places, would they pick this small town of Maine?

"They all look different, but same," the TA continued. "And they're pale and have golden eyes. They remind me of _her_." He glanced at my frozen figure.

"What, Bella Swan?"

"Seriously? More freaks?"

"Huh. Maybe golden eyes are more common than I thought."

It couldn't be. They couldn't possibly be talking about the _Cullens_. Of all places to go...

I wasn't ready. If it really was the Cullens, I wasn't ready to face them. I wasn't ready to face _Edward_. What would I say to them? What would _they_ say to me? They had left me, and now, they had found me. I hadn't wanted to see them again.

I quickly moved on. The stares were getting intense, and I had to get to class.

I made my way to my locker and gathered up the materials I needed for class. I was walking down the hall when the office door opened widely. I took a step backward when I instantly recognized the enormous figure with dark, curly hair.

"...mans are so nosy," he was saying in a muted voice. "I mean, who cares if we're adopted? Jeez."

"Shut up, Emmett," the blonde beauty snapped, following him. "Don't you think we _know_ that? Stop stating the obvious."

I couldn't breathe. My eyes were deceiving me. But it was them. The vampire scents that I was smelling right now didn't lie. And in my shock, my gift had switched on. It was definitely the Cullens that I knew and still remembered, definitely pictures of their past and present.

"Holy c-" Emmett had not heard a word his wife had said. He and I had been staring at each other in shock. Just staring.

"What?" Rosalie snapped, then turned her head. Her eyes grew round. "Oh, my..."

"What?" Alice demanded as she pushed the door out to join them. She took one look at me and made a strangled sound, as though she'd just stopped herself from shrieking out. "Oh, my god! Bella!"

Suddenly, Jasper was right behind her, staring at me. And lastly...Edward.

He looked blank and confused. He had no idea what I was doing here. None of them did. Under the surprise, I detected weariness and sadness, and I was even more surprised.

Why? Shouldn't he be happy if he'd left me? He'd told me that he couldn't be human because he was a vampire. Shouldn't he have become happy after leaving the human?

I let out the breath that I'd been holding. My grip on my textbook tightened, and I had to remind myself not to flatten it, for I would have to buy another one.

I felt the familiar pain in my chest rip through me. The heart that had been mended by Steven and his daughter. The wound was again open, and I felt exposed, vulnerable. Maybe I'd never been healed at all. I shouldn't be seeing them right now. Our together was over.

Then why was fate pulling this prank on me?

I swallowed hard and glared when Alice attempted to move toward me. She stopped short, taken aback. It was a warning not to get closer, because I wasn't happy with them.

Had she truly not seen this coming?

They were all frozen, like statues. They watched me warily, wondering what I would do.

I had to get away from here. I couldn't handle this – it was too much. But if I ditched, the school would call Steven and inform him that I hadn't come to school today. He would question me, and I didn't want to have to tell him and Renesmee anymore than necessary.

But how could I endure a whole day in the same place as them, knowing that they might be sharing several classes with me?

Slowly, I began backing away. I didn't trust them. The way my eyes flickered to all of them distrustfully told them so.

"Bella," Alice pleaded as she stepped forward, spreading her hands. "Please..." She trailed off when I turned abruptly and walked away in the other direction, taking the longer way to class. I would have to deal with them at school, but that didn't mean I wanted to talk to them.

"Bella!" Emmett called, but I was already turning the corner.

It was hard to maintain human pace when my mind was running a million miles an hour. Maine, of all places. Lincoln High, in all the high schools in the world. I couldn't condone it.

I held my breath carefully, not trusting myself to breathe. If I started hyperventilating in reaction to the pain in my heart, they would bombard me with questions. Track me down and demand to know how I'd transformed. What I'd been doing the past twenty years.

Their betrayal was harsh. Their abandonment was hurtful.

I couldn't do this.

**Edward's Point of View**

My mind was blank. I was stunned. Because she could not be here. She couldn't be here, at a high school, posing as a student, looking beautiful and forever stuck in her teens. I had left so she could move on with her life as a human. Instead, she was here, looking bitter and betrayed as a vampire.

I couldn't move as she turned and walked away. I could tell that she was trying hard not to flee in vampire speed. Either way, it didn't matter, because none of us could process fast enough to go after her.

"Bella!" Emmett called desperately, but she didn't look back. She turned a corner and was gone.

We instantly looked at Alice, who looked miserable. She shook her head. "I didn't see her."

"She looked..." Rosalie licked her lips, actually stunned for once. "Betrayed." She shot a sharp glance at me. "Do we have you to thank for that?"

"Rose! Not now!" Alice sighed. "We have to talk to her. She's obviously stopped aging for quite a while – after all, it's been twenty years since we left. She should be nearing her forties, but she's still somewhat eighteen or nineteen, give or take. We have to know what happened."

"She won't talk to us," Rosalie snapped. "Did you see her face? She _glared_ at us. She glared at Edward. And then, she turned and _walked away_. Her message is clear: She hates us."

"That's why we have to talk to her!" Alice shot back. "We have to clear up misunderstandings!"

They all looked at me. I was still staring at the spot I'd last seen her before she'd turned the corner. I couldn't breathe. The pain in my chest was really ripping through now. I'd never thought that I would see Bella glare at me like that. Not with mockingly angry glares. As though she could kill glares.

"What do you think, Edward?" Alice asked impatiently. "You have to talk to her. She's obviously still very upset over what you told her. She must have gotten the impression that you really didn't want her! She's probably blaming us for her transformation!"

"It _was_ our fault, actually," Emmett said. "If we hadn't left, we could've stopped it from happening."

I swallowed, trying not to wince at the pain. Jasper wasn't much better. He tried shooting calm waves toward me, but I was so agitated that he gave up.

"Can you see anything?" Rosalie asked Alice.

Alice shook her head. "It's been a while since I'd watched for her future. But right now, she's undecided on what to do, so everything's all jumbled up. Edward? What do you want to do?"

I was curious. I wanted to know what had happened to her. Why she was living like this when she should be married by now and raising her kids. But I wanted to observe her first, listen to others' thoughts about her before confronting her. She and I both needed time to process things through.

"We'll watch her first," I said finally. "I want to know what others think about her."

They all nodded, approving.

"Jasper has advanced Math with her right now," Alice told us. "Jazzy, maybe you can ask about her. Edward, you can listen to their thoughts."

We both nodded.

"That's all we can do for now," Alice said, her eyes far away as she tried to see. "Good luck."

* * *

**AN: So they meet again! What did you think? Bombard me with loving reviews and thoughts!**


	10. Chapter 10: Background

**Author's Note: Hi, y'all! Curious, aren't you? Well, read on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Bella's Point of View**

I resisted the urge to start sobbing. I had escaped to the parking lot, where the Cullens couldn't come to confront me. I leaned against the hood of my car, staring at two new shiny cars that I did not recognize: a flashy, bright red BMW that I guessed was Rosalie's, and a black Mercedes very much like my own that I deduced was Edward's.

Why here? Why?

I took deep breaths, trying to put out the pain in my heart by gulping in the cool air. The students were filing inside as the first bell rang. Soon, I was the only one left in the parking lot.

I knew that I should go to class, but I was afraid. With my luck, it was entirely too possible that one of the Cullens would be in the same class. I guessed that Edward and Alice were posing as juniors, like I was, but since I was in an advanced Math class, it was possible to have all of them in the same class.

_Don't be afraid_, I told myself. _You've done nothing wrong. _

I wasn't afraid. No, I wasn't. Why would I? I just didn't want to answer the questions they would undoubtedly have.

Slowly, I walked back inside the building just as rain began to fall. The late bell rang just as I stepped inside my math classroom and instantly caught a whiff of Jasper. I resisted the urge to run back out and offered Mr. Edison an apologetic smile.

"And why are you late, Miss Swan?" he asked, fixing me with a stern look. I hadn't had a chance to turn off my gift after the shock this morning, so I could see why he was so cranky today: His wife was threatening to leave him.

I fought back a grimace, knowing that I would have to resort to flirting to get him not to mark me tardy. Steven was like a second father sometimes – he would demand to know why I had been tardy, especially since I could move as quickly as I wanted to.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Edison," I said, laying it on thickly. I shot him a seductive smile. "It won't happen again."

He blinked, forgetting what we were talking about. The girls were shooting me death glares, and the boys were staring at me just as dreamily as the teacher was. Jasper was sitting in the way back, next to a girl who looked terribly flattered.

"Uh...go..." Edison cleared his throat. "Go sit down, Miss Swan. I'll let it go this time, but next time, I won't hesitate to mark you down."

As if. He ate up all my excuses.

I thanked him quietly before moving to sit down in the front row. My partner was a quiet, shy girl that reminded me of Angela Weber. She greeted me with a small smile, which I tried to return.

Edison waved to the back of the classroom. "We have a new student today. Why don't you introduce yourself? Stand up."

Jasper grimaced for a half second as everyone turned their attentions eagerly toward him. He stood up. "I'm Jasper Hale," he said. "Senior. Nice to meet you."

They all began clapping a bit _too_ loudly as he sat back down, looking awkward. I tapped my pencil lightly on my binder, impatiently waiting for class to start so that I could distract myself.

"Welcome, Mr. Hale," Edison said, starting to hand out review worksheets for the upcoming test. "Let's hope you are _very_ good at Calculus, because everyone knows I show favoritism to my best students. Right?" He smirked when everyone looked pointedly at me. "Alright, get started. You can work independently or with your partners – your choice. The worksheet is due at the end of class, so you'd better work your butt off." He returned to his desk and began texting his wife.

"Do you mind if I work alone on this one?" my partner asked. "I think I'm better at it if I do it inside my mind." She smiled apologetically.

I smiled reassuringly. "I don't mind at all."

"You have very nice handwriting," Jasper complimented his partner.

That caught my attention – he was obviously trying to flirt his way into getting something.

"Oh, t-thank you," his partner, Jasmine Walters, said. "So do you."

I worked through my first problem at human pace, focusing on their conversation. Jasper had just explained how to solve the first problem, and Jasmine was gushing about how he was such a great teacher. What was he up to? What did he want?

"So, I was wondering," he said conversationally. "Who's that up there? The girl that came in late."

I froze in the act of working on my fifth problem and had to stop myself from crushing my pencil. I realized what he was doing. He would ask questions about me, and Edward would undoubtedly be listening for additional information about me as the girl answered.

"Oh, Bella?" Jasmine chirped. She was famous for gossiping in this small town. "She's the genius in this town." She snorted at her own analogy.

I resisted the urge to whip around and glare at Jasper.

**Edward's Point of View**

After I had introduced myself in English, I sat in the back of the room with Rosalie. She took notes for the both of us while I tuned into the Calculus classroom. For once, she was quiet, both physically and in her thoughts. She knew how important this was to me.

I waited impatiently as Jasper explained the first problem to a girl named Jasmine. And I was alert when he asked conversationally, "So, I was wondering. Who's that up there? The girl that came in late."

"Oh, Bella?" Jasmine said cheerfully. "She's the genius in this town." She snorted with laughter. _She's more than a genius. I bet she knows more than all the teachers put together._

"Do you know her well?"

"Nah, none of us do. She's a very private person. She keeps to herself." _She's the weirdo of this town. I don't understand why all the boys want to date her._

At this, I felt an emotion I hadn't felt in so long rise up. Jealousy. It felt strange after years of feeling nothing but pain and depression.

"She even sits alone during lunch," Jasmine said. "She doesn't even eat – I don't know why she buys lunch to throw it away." _Maybe she has an eating disorder. With her body, I wouldn't doubt it!_

"Do you know where she lives?" Jasper inquired casually.

"Duh, everyone does. She lives with the Bones." _I have to admit, Nessie _is_ adorable._

Nessie? Who was Nessie? Who were the Bones?

"The Bones?" Jasper asked. This time, he wasn't faking curiosity.

"Mm-hm. Steven and Renesmee Bones. Steve is a math teacher at Lincoln Middle School, and Renesmee is his daughter. She's the cutest thing ever. Apparently, she and Nessie are cousins. They're certainly close enough to be family." She nodded.

More vampires? Jasper was undoubtedly wondering the same thing. "And does Renesmee come here?" _We would've seen another vampire..._

"No, silly!" Jasmine laughed. "Nessie's only six! She goes to Lincoln Elementary. Bella picks her up every day after school. You should see her. She's so adorable!" She sighed wistfully. "I wish I had a sister, or a cousin like that."

Jasper's mind was running a million miles an hour, and so was mine. If this Renesmee who claimed to be Bella's cousin was only six years old, there was no way that she could be vampire. Unless she was an immortal child...but that was impossible. This town wouldn't have escaped from an immortal child's tantrums.

_Humans,_ Jasper told me. _She's living with humans. I don't understand how she would get away with that. _"How long has she lived here?" he asked.

"Oh, they moved here a few months ago." _But what is it with all the questions? I thought he was already dating his sister or something. Or was he the single one?_ "Why all the questions?"

"Just wondering," Jasper said. "She reminds me of someone I used to know."

"Jasper, how do you do number two?"

"Mr. Cullen?" my English teacher called. "What is one of your favorite classics of all time?"

"_Wuthering Heights_," I answered without thinking.

Rosalie gave me a strange look – she knew I hated the book. But she rolled her eyes and muttered, "Bella."

We met up with Alice to find out who had Bella's next class after the bell rang. She shook her head. "We don't have anything else with her."

"Maybe we can try talking to her at lunch," Emmett suggested.

"She wasn't pleased when she caught onto what I was doing," Jasper said, frowning. "Is that wise?"

"We'll have to wait after school," Alice said. "She won't be in the cafeteria today. Edward, you can tell us what you found out about her so far during lunch. We need to approach her cautiously."

I waited impatiently until the lunch bell rang. I was the first one out of my math classroom, and I met my siblings in front of the cafeteria. We bought our food and settled in the corner of the room, away from the rest of the students.

The stares were getting annoying. There were whispers about how we didn't seem to be eating either.

"Maybe they just hate cafeteria food," the girl from earlier, Jasmine, suggested, and the rest of them bought the suggestion.

I informed my siblings about what Jasmine had been thinking earlier. They were surprised to learn about the Bones, who were humans, and yet, lived with Bella.

"Okay, wait," Alice said, holding up her hand. "I'm seeing something. She's at Lincoln Elementary, and she's picking up this cute little girl." She paused. "And you're right. Not an immortal child. Her cheeks are rosy." She sounded surprised. "She's hugging the girl."

"We should follow her," Emmett said. "After school. See where she lives."

"She'd know," Jasper pointed out.

"We could try speaking to her, I suppose," Alice said doubtfully. "But she'll only avoid our questions."

"We'll follow her," I decided, determined. "If she really cares about this human family, she'll want to keep everything a secret. She'll have to lead us to her house if she wants to act normally around them."

"Edward and I will follow her in his car," Alice said. "The rest of you should go back home and tell Carlisle and Esme about this."

* * *

I watched as Bella walked out fluidly from the building toward her car. It was strange to see her so graceful, but immortality suited her, despite her thoughts about it. She stiffened when I followed close behind her as she exited the parking lot.

She drove just as quickly as the rest of us did, and I had to smile slightly. She finally understood why I'd liked to speed so much.

I parked a few feet away from her and cut the engine off. We watched as she got out, looking annoyed. She leaned against the back of her car, closing her eyes as the cold wind blew against her, making her long hair dance wildly around her face.

She was beautiful.

We stayed quiet, since we knew that she would be able to hear. She ignored us successfully, and she didn't budge when the small kids started coming outside to greet their parents. Others would mistake her for sleeping.

"Bella!"

She opened her eyes instantly, and I watched in amazement as her lips spread into a beautiful, sincere smile as she held out her arms.

Renesmee was indeed a cute little girl. She had brown ringlets that came to the middle of her back, and her cheeks were still full of baby fat. She, too, was smiling happily as she threw herself at Bella, dimples showing.

"Hi, sweetheart," Bella said softly, kissing the little girl's cheek. "How was your day?"

"Bobby told everyone that he liked me!" Renesmee exclaimed, causing Bella to laugh. The sound was music in my ears, and I was glad that my leaving hadn't affected her to find a tiny bit of happiness in her life.

"And what did you say?" Bella prompted, looking sincerely curious as to what the girl had to say.

Renesmee scoffed. "I told him that I had to think about it. How dare he think he could like me? The nerve."

Bella laughed again, pinching the girl's cheeks lightly. "You adorable little vixen."

Alice chuckled lightly. "She really is cute, Edward. I don't blame her for sticking with her."

Bella chose to ignore that. She picked up the girl easily and opened the backseat, and proceeded to buckle her up in the car seat. "What would you like to eat tonight, Nessie?"

Renesmee thought. _Macaroni? No, we had that yesterday. I know! _"Fish lasagna!"

Bella paused, surprised. "Fish lasagna?" She wrinkled her nose, undoubtedly at the thought of smelling and cooking with revolting fish. "Are you sure?"

"Mm-hm. I want fish lasagna. Do we have to go to the grocery store?" she added hopefully.

Renesmee liked going to the grocery store. She liked all the flowers and the cool breeze as Bella pushed the cart. What a strange girl.

"No, no grocery shopping today," Bella said, laughing slightly. "Alright. Fish lasagna it is."

"Yay!"

Bella closed the door and went around her car, glaring at us as she did so. We followed her home anyway. She lived near the forest, which was quite convenient for feeding. Did the Bones know about Bella being a vampire?

I parked in front of their house while Bella unloaded Renesmee from her car seat. And Alice and I both froze when the girl said, "Bella, can you cook as fast as you can run?"

"Oh, my god," Alice whispered, staring at Bella's stiffened form. "Does she know, Bella? You told her?"

"I'm afraid I can't," Bella answered the girl's question as she carried her inside. "Cooking takes time. Besides, lasagna takes especially long."

"But I'm hungry!"

"You can have a snack while I cook. Deal?"

"Chocolate!"

"No chocolate. Baby carrots."

"Ew. Chips Ahoy!"

"Cucumbers." Bella was teasing now.

"Grosser! Potato chips!"

"Alright, we'll compromise," Bella said, laughing. "Apple slices. You like apples. We good?"

"Okay!"

"Nessie knows," Alice whispered in shock. "How could she...she would know never to tell humans about our existence."

"Bella, can we call Daddy?" Renesmee asked.

"Daddy's busy, honey," Bella said patiently.

"Okay," Renesmee said easily. "I'm hungry, Bella."

"Hang on, okay?"

"We have to come back later," Alice decided. "When they're asleep. Bella has to come out later to hunt – her eyes are getting darker."

I was doubtful. "Will she meet us?"

"I see it happening," Alice said. "Bella, we're leaving, but we want to talk to you later. Can we meet in the forest?"

No answer. I'd forgotten how frustrating it was to not be able to hear her thoughts.

"Please, Bella?" Alice tried again. "We just want to talk. Don't you think we deserve to know how you got changed? How you're living with humans?"

Still no answer. Instead, she said, "Here you go, sweetie. Eat up."

"Thanks, Bella. Can I watch TV before I start homework?"

"Thirty minutes," Bella told her. "And then, homework."

"Okay!" The girl headed for the living room with her apple slices, happy with the deal. The sound of animated characters rang out.

Bella sighed. "Fine," she muttered under her breath.

I sighed in relief, while Alice grinned. "Thank you, Bella. Let's go, Edward."

I would be seeing her again in a couple of hours. I would be hearing her voice again. Even if she hated me, I couldn't.

I was still madly in love with her.

* * *

**AN: What did you think? They'll be facing each other next chapter! Dun-dun-dun! Review, review, review!**


	11. Chapter 11: Recollection

**Author's Note: I think this is the longest chapter so far. But you're not complaining, are you? Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Bella's Point of View**

Steven instantly noticed that something was wrong. "You okay?"

I looked up from stroking Renesmee's hair. She had fallen asleep on my lap after she'd finished dinner and homework. He was frowning at me as he ate dinner, his fork poised in the air.

I smiled sheepishly. "Yeah. Why?"

"You're just a bit..." He shrugged. "Quiet. I mean, you always are, but you look nervous about something."

I hesitated before looking back down at the angel on my lap. "I'm going out after you fall asleep."

He nodded. "You always do."

I cracked a smile. "Not always. No, I have additional business tonight. I'm meeting some old friends of mine." I grimaced at the word. They weren't exactly friends anymore, were they?

"Friends?" Steven paused. "You never mentioned anything about your friends before."

"They're new in town."

"The Cullens?" He sounded surprised.

I was surprised too. "How did you know?"

He chuckled. "In a town this small? You're kidding." He returned to his lasagna. "So, they're your friends? Well, that's interesting."

"Why is it interesting? I can have friends too, can't I?"

He laughed. "No need to get all defensive, Bella. I was just pointing out the fact that you look very similar to them."

I blinked at him. "You've seen them?"

"I saw the father," he replied. "Carlisle Cullen, right? I had to go to the hospital to get the results of my checkup after work, remember? He's the new doctor, so everyone is obsessed with him." He chuckled. "He's quite young for a doctor."

He gave me a meaningful look. "And I mean, not much older than you. He must be, what, twenty-three? Twenty-four? Give or take?"

"Steve," I said warningly, though I was amused as always by his sharpness. "Need-to-know basis."

He held up his hands in surrender. "I know, I know. I was just curious. So you know all of them? He seemed pretty nice, but you look tense, like you don't want to see them."

I stroked Renesmee's soft cheek lightly. She grinned in her sleep. "I don't."

"Why not? We talked a few." He looked thoughtful. "Now that I think about it, he looked just as nervous as you do."

"Huh," I said. "They must have told him about our meeting tonight."

"How do you know them?"

"I told you, they're old friends."

He fought back a smile. "Alright, alright. Don't tell me. I won't pry. When are you leaving?" He studied my eyes. "They're getting pretty black."

He'd discovered that I tended to go out in the middle of the night when my eyes changed color. Like I'd said, sharp for a human.

I nodded. "Soon."

"You want me to go to bed early?" he offered.

I chuckled. "That's not necessary. I'd like to delay the meeting as much as I can, actually."

"I'll stay up the entire night."

I rolled my eyes. "You're silly. You can go to bed anytime you'd like. I don't think I'll be far. Don't worry."

"I can protect Ness too, you know," he sniffed. "I'm not that fragile."

I suppressed a smile. "Of course, Steve."

I glanced at the clock. It was nearing ten o'clock. I decided to go out around midnight. Judging by his drooping eyes, he would be asleep in less than an hour.

Steven finished his dinner and trudged into the kitchen to wash the dishes. I continued to caress Renesmee's face, thinking.

What would they ask? How I'd become a vampire, no doubt. What I'd been doing for the past twenty years. Why I was living with humans. I would have to clarify and assure them that Steven and Renesmee knew nothing about vampires.

Was it love, what Edward and I'd had? Or just a simple infatuation for him and love for me? Would that be clarified tonight as well?

"Carlisle said he had kids," Steven said, returning to the living room. He opened his bag and took out a pile of tests and a red pen. He began to grade them quickly. "Five of them. Adopted."

"Mm."

"Your age?"

"Two of them are juniors," I said softly, still staring at Renesmee adoringly. "The other three are seniors."

He chuckled. "Are they pretending too? Like you?"

I fought back a smile. "Yes, Steven. They're pretending."

"So they have a bunch of degrees like you?" He shook his head. "If I was stuck at the age of twenty like you or them, I would stay in college. Why go back to high school?"

"Why indeed?" I murmured. "They're not twenty, Steve. They're real teenagers."

He snorted. "Sure, sure. I'll believe that when I die."

I pursed my lips amusedly. "You're too smart for your own good, Steve."

"Carlisle seemed to be handling his job pretty well," he commented, making a face at one student's failed test. "But _you_ quit halfway."

"He's done it a lot longer than I have," I said quietly. "He's used to everything that comes with being a doctor." I changed the subject. "How were your test results?"

"Perfect," he answered. "The doc said to exercise more, but hell, I ain't going to do that. I'm in healthy range for everything, so who cares, right?"

I tutted. "The doctor says these things for a reason. Even I have to admit that you're gaining weight. Working out doesn't seem like such a bad idea."

He remained stubborn. "Whatever. Like I have time."

"Daddy?" Renesmee murmured, stirring.

Steven dropped his pen and turned toward us. "Hi, Ness."

Renesmee blinked sleepily, then smiled. "Hi. I missed you."

He smiled. "Missed you too, hon. You want me to tuck you in?"

Renesmee nodded eagerly. "Can you sing for me, Daddy?"

"Bye, darling," I said softly as Steven picked her up with a grunt. She waved at me as they disappeared upstairs.

"You know I can't sing, Nessie," Steven said.

"Bella sings for me."

"Well, she's Bella. She's good at everything."

I laughed quietly. I slid down onto the floor, leaning my back against the sofa, sitting where Steven had been just moments before. I picked up his red pen and began grading for him, knowing that he was tired and there was a high possibility that he would fall asleep next to his daughter.

I could've finished in five minutes, but I worked at human pace purposely. I found that doing everything like a human helped to pass time more quickly. As a result, I finished at exactly midnight.

I stacked the tests neatly and placed it into Steven's bag, zipping it up and placing it on the table. He would see it in the morning.

I heard the soft rumbling of his snores from Renesmee's room. I ascended the stairs and peeked into her room. I smiled at the scene. Their heads were touching together as they slept. I could see the clear resemblance between them.

Steven looked uncomfortable in the small twin bed. His legs stuck out awkwardly against the frame.

I picked him up easily and carried him into his bedroom, tucking him in like a child. He stirred briefly, muttering, "Thanks, Bella," before snoring away once more.

I brushed away his hair gently. To be a widower at such a young age and take on the responsibility of a young daughter...

I opened my gift toward him. Was he happy with his life? Wasn't he lonely, with only a young girl and a never-aging young woman around?

He _was_ happy. Happier than he'd ever been. He loved Renesmee dearly, and he loved me too. He'd grown to care for me as another daughter and a friend, or perhaps a sister. He regarded me as his protector, which amused me greatly. But it was reassuring to know that he could depend on me.

I leaned in to kiss his forehead lightly. "Good night, Steven."

He only mumbled something inaudible in his sleep and shifted before his snores steadied once more. I closed the door behind me quietly and reentered Renesmee's room. She was snoring delicately, reminding me of her father. Her mouth was slightly open, and she didn't move at all as I secured the blanket around her.

I brushed away her curls from her face and kissed her cheek lightly. Watching her sleep always made me wistful. What I wouldn't give to escape for a few hours too. Was _she _happy?

She was. She loved her father, but I played a key role in her life. She had never known her mother, and I was the closest thing to that. I was a mother, a sister, and a friend. She loved me dearly, and she was glad that I was always around her. She felt safe with me.

A lump formed in my throat as I watched the scenes play around her. She hated that I always seemed so sad. She wanted nothing more than for me to be happy. She believed that I deserved it. While she was glad that I was around, she thought it was unfair that I devoted myself to taking care of her family.

I sighed deeply. I may have seemed sad at times, but I really was happy. I was happy that I could be useful toward Steven and Renesmee. I'd found a purpose in my life again. I didn't want anything more than to stay with them. I wanted to watch Renesmee grow up to become a beautiful young woman. I wanted to see her walk down the aisle in a wedding dress. I wanted to do the things that Janet couldn't do. I would do them for her.

I exited the room, closing the door behind me. I pulled on a midnight blue cardigan before leaving the house, making sure to lock up. I began running toward the forest in front of our house, and felt free for the first time today as I ran past the trees. The breeze felt nice against my skin.

I kept it simple, taking down the first two deer I could find. When I was fed, I took a deep breath to brace myself and ran back home.

They were waiting at the edge of the forest, watching the dark house curiously. I slowed down, approaching at a human pace.

They turned around slowly, trying not to alarm me. For a moment, no one said anything. I stared at their faces, feeling the bitterness rise up again.

"Bella," Carlisle said, looking relieved. He looked sincerely glad to see me again.

"Oh, Bella..." Esme murmured. She was maternal as ever, loving and sweet.

I stood at least ten feet away from them. I knew that they would never hurt me physically, but I didn't want to get hurt again. I had enough misery in my life.

"Hello, Carlisle, Esme," I said quietly. "How are you?"

Esme looked upset. She was studying everything about me, distraught that I really was a vampire.

Emmett looked serious for once. He stared at me regretfully, lost. He had no idea what to say to me. Rosalie didn't look her usual hostile self at all. She, too, was staring at me, but she merely looked curious. Jasper looked wary, ready to use his calming gift if necessary. Alice bit her lip, glancing between Edward and I.

And Edward...

He looked so sad. Miserable. Tired, as though he'd spent the last twenty years doing nothing but worrying. He never looked away from me, his gaze steady and unwavering.

Seeing him made my heart throb. It was like I had forgotten how much I'd loved him, but to see him personally after two decades... It was like a punch to my face.

I felt like crying, I really did. How could he stand in front of me so boldly after everything he'd said to me, everything he'd done to me? If he hadn't left, I would still be human, or perhaps spending immortality with the people that had been my second family.

"How...are you?" Carlisle asked hesitantly.

The question felt strange. How was I? I was happy, taking care of Steven and Renesmee. But I couldn't deny that I was still hurting.

"I'm doing fine, as you can see," I answered instead. There was no need for them to know anything more than they should. I wasn't going to associate with them as long as I was taking care of the Bones.

"You look beautiful," Esme said. She smiled tearfully at me. "As much as I hate to say it, immortality seems to suit you."

I considered that for a moment. "Thank you, I suppose."

"What happened?" Alice blurted out. "How did this happen?"

I didn't answer immediately. It was a long story, and I really didn't want to see the Cullens right now. Just seeing them brought up old memories. I wanted to sit down and just cry my eyes out until I let all the bitterness out of my system.

"Because we left so you could be human," Alice added. "So you could move on as a human. But you're here as a vampire right now. We want to know how."

My eyes flickered toward her. "You left...so I could be human?"

Funny, the idea had never occurred to me. The words felt strange on my tongue. Was she telling the truth? Edward had said those cruel words to me so that I would let go of him and move on as a human?

"Edward was being incredibly stupid, and-" Alice shut up when Rosalie jabbed her elbow at her ribs.

Edward didn't seem to be listening. He was busy staring at me, so intensely that I felt self-conscious. I was glad that I wasn't able to blush any longer. I stared back, nevertheless, stunned by this new piece of information.

"Bella?" Carlisle prompted. "Will you answer our questions? We can't hide the fact that we _are_ incredibly curious about the past twenty years. How old were you when you transformed?"

I answered blankly, my eyes still on Edward. "Twenty."

"Twenty?" Esme repeated. "That's so...young. We expected..." She shook her head regretfully.

"Won't you tell us your story, Bella?" Carlisle pleaded.

I tore my eyes away from my past love. "A lot of things happened, Carlisle."

"We have all the time in the world."

I sighed, resigning myself to explaining. I leaned against a nearby tree trunk. "I would invite you inside, but Steven and Renesmee are inside, sleeping. I don't want to disturb them. And going over to your house doesn't particularly appeal to me either."

"This is fine," Alice said quickly. "We're more comfortable standing anyway."

I looked past them, at the house. I was silent for a while before starting my story. "After you all left, I was...inconsolable. I was extremely affected by your absence. I wasn't living. I was a mess."

I paused before continuing. "A few months after your departure, I found out about the existence of werewolves in La Push."

They were surprised. "Werewolves?" Edward repeated, before he could stop himself. He was incredulous. "Don't you know how incredibly dangerous they are?"

I smiled tightly. "I do. But the werewolves became my new life. I grew close to Jacob Black. He helped me to heal. I became much better, began functioning as a human should. You were right, Edward – humans do move on. Time was beginning to heal me. I grew quite fond of Jacob, and he loved me more than I deserved. When he asked me out, I accepted his offer of companionship."

I watched curiously when Edward stiffened. He looked upset, but I decided to continue. The sooner everything was out, the sooner they could leave.

"The relationship didn't last very long, I'm afraid," I said, sighing. "Charlie married Sue Clearwater, and I gained two stepsiblings, Leah and Seth. They, too, were werewolves in the pack. At the wedding, Leah brought one of her friends as her guest, and the moment Jacob saw her, everything changed." I paused. "Have you ever heard of imprinting?"

"Imprinting?" Carlisle repeated. "No. The word is unfamiliar."

"It's something that some werewolves do when they find their soul mates," I said. "They recognize their other half instantly, and in that moment, everything in their life changes. Suddenly, it's not gravity that's holding you down to earth. It's your soul mate.

"Lizzie had no idea what was going on, of course, but I knew. Knowing about vampires and werewolves, I'd been involved in the tribe's secrets. I saw the look on Jacob's face. I knew that I could no longer be a woman to him." I remembered the night quite clearly, despite the memory being human. "I ran away that night."

Esme gasped quietly. "Oh, Bella..." She sounded heartbroken.

Edward looked ready to kill someone. "He threw you away? Just like that?"

"I don't blame him," I said. "It's not his fault. It was just bad timing, I suppose." I shrugged. "It was only a matter of time before he imprinted. I'd been afraid of it happening, but at least I was able to accept it quickly because I knew about it."

His expression softened, but he spoke fiercely. "But you deserve so much more than that, Bella."

I smiled bitterly. "It's amusing that you're the one saying that to me, Edward."

He winced. "Bella..."

"I ran away from the reception," I continued, ignoring him. "Leah found me crying in my room. She knew exactly how I felt, because the same thing had happened to her. She stayed with me all night, offering words of comfort and cursing Jacob to make me feel better.

"Leah and I grew close. She couldn't trust me to feed myself while Charlie and Sue were on their honeymoon. I was losing a lot of weight...so she moved in with me to take care of me. It was then that college applications were coming in. I was planning on going to the University of Washington or perhaps Florida. If I didn't get in to either of those places, I would've stayed home with Charlie and Sue.

"But Leah had sent an application to Dartmouth under my name. I was surprised to get an acceptance. I knew that I couldn't let this opportunity pass by, and I pulled myself together. I got ready to move to New Hampshire, and before I left, I visited Jacob to tell him that I didn't blame him at all. I didn't want him to feel guilty whenever he thought of me.

"I didn't come home for two years. Once I finished my sophomore year of college, I returned home for the summer." I hesitated, frowning slightly. "I had moved on from Jacob quite easily, but my time with all of you had affected me the most. I couldn't forget, and I knew I was still hanging on. If I wanted to be happy again, I was going to have to let go."

Edward flinched again. He was no longer watching me but was staring at the ground in front of him. He looked even more miserable.

"I wanted to visit the meadow," I said, making him look up. "I thought I could finally let go. That was when I was changed."

They were more alert now, more focused. My own voice grew more bitter and harsh.

"Laurent was passing by, and it was purely a coincidence that we met there. But he was thirsty, and he bit me just before the wolves came to kill him. The wolves decided to wait until my transformation was complete to talk about a truce. Jacob had pleaded for them to save me. Leah was hysterical. When the process was completed, I talked to Jacob, and we came to an agreement. I would leave without killing anyone – they would trust me to follow the vegetarian lifestyle. But I could come back to visit Charlie and Sue once I was capable of controlling myself completely.

"I went back to Dartmouth and switched to night classes. I got my degree in English Literature and moved around, teaching. But I got bored after a while, and a few years ago, I decided to try my hand in becoming a doctor. I'd always been impressed with your self-control, Carlisle, and I wanted to know if I was capable as well."

Carlisle smiled. "I admire your courage, Bella."

I smiled ruefully. "I'm afraid I wasn't very successful. I quit when I was a resident."

"Where do Steven and Renesmee come into play, Bella?" Alice asked.

I pondered for a moment. "An expecting mother came in one night. She had a severe heart condition, and she had fainted during her final month of pregnancy. Janet." My eyes grew far away. "Steven was panicking. They had both accepted that she was going to die, giving birth to their daughter, but that didn't stop him from grieving over her death.

"Just before she went into labor, Janet asked me to take care of her husband and daughter. She seemed to know that I was different, that I had the power to do it. She died giving birth to Renesmee, and I gave up the career. I couldn't watch people die under my care anymore. I was miserable enough.

"I've been taking care of Steven and Renesmee ever since. They know that I'm different – they're quite sharp for humans. But we've agreed to a strict need-to-know basis. They don't ask questions."

Edward's eyes narrowed. His eyes bored into me, his thoughts obviously filled with more questions, but before he could say anything, Alice said, "How long have you been with them?"

"Six years," I answered promptly. "I was there when Renesmee was born."

"And Steven?"

"What about him?"

"He was okay with you...like this?" Esme asked, her eyes flickering back to the house.

I shrugged. "I'm no mind-reader, but I can see something similar. He and his daughter are very open-minded."

"Wait, Bella," Carlisle said. "What do you mean? You can read minds?"

My eyes flickered to Edward. "Not exactly. More like, I'm able to see the scenes of a person's past and present. It helps me to learn what they are like, so it's useful to prepare myself. I can always move on if someone is getting a bit suspicious about me, or tell if they have malicious intents toward my family."

They all winced at the mention of my family. Alice was biting her lip, as though she was dying to tell me something, but was resisting. But I had a hunch.

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak. "Bella, we-"

My eyes narrowed. "I must ask all of you to keep your distance from me. That includes my family. They don't know anything about vampires or werewolves, and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't want to put them in danger by having the Volturi involved."

"How do you know about the Volturi?" Carlisle asked, surprised. "I don't think we've ever told you about that. And didn't you say Laurent was killed by the wolves?"

My gaze turned back to Edward. "He told me. Before...before you left."

He made a strangled noise. He looked torn, as though he couldn't decide what to do. He was staring at me desperately, but I didn't know what he wanted.

"I see," Carlisle said quickly. "Well, I think that was fortunate. Tell us, Bella, how does your gift work, then?"

I felt a flicker of annoyance. I could hear Renesmee stirring slightly, and I instantly worried if she was having a nightmare. I bit my lip.

"She's fine," Edward mumbled, his eyes lowering. I looked at him. "Isn't that what you were wondering about? Renesmee?"

I stared at him. He could not read my mind. I knew this for certain, because my shield was always around me. Did this mean he was still used to reading my expressions to decipher what I was thinking? Slowly, I nodded.

"She's..." He cleared his throat quietly. He looked uncomfortable, whatever he was about to say. "She's dreaming about you."

All eyes turned to him. He was looking at me, though, a hundred emotions running through his eyes. "She's worrying about you."

I was surprised. "Why?"

Edward searched my face for the answers I did not have. "She wants you to be happy. She doesn't like it when you're always so sad."

I blinked. It was what I had seen in Renesmee's present earlier. How strongly did she feel about me? Instantly, concern sprang to mind. Though I didn't have any intentions on leaving her, I was worried about how my presence in her life would affect her. I knew exactly what my reactions were when Edward had left – how would Renesmee differ?

I took a deep breath. "Please promise that you will stay away."

"We can't do that," Alice blurted out. "We've stayed away far too long. And it _is_ our fault that you were changed. We'd like to make it up to you."

I gritted my teeth, tensing. "That's not necessary."

"We know you're worried about what Renesmee will think of you," Alice said. "But I've seen what's going to happen, and it won't be wise to leave her alone. You know that."

"I won't leave her alone," I hissed, and my passionate response seemed to surprise Jasper greatly. "I won't leave Steven either."

Edward's jaw clenched together. "It isn't safe. You haven't been a vampire for very long. You could potentially-"

"I'm aware of everything I'm doing when I'm with them," I growled. "Don't insult me like that. I would never hurt them."

There was a moment of silence as Edward and I glowered at each other stubbornly. I couldn't believe that he had the nerve to tell me what to do. After twenty years, there was no way I was going back to the Cullens. I had my own family now.

"We were only worried about you, Bella," Carlisle said quietly. "We would love to welcome you back into our family, of course. We apologize for everything-"

I turned my furious gaze back to him. "No. Don't expect me to come crawling back to you. I have my own family to care for, and I would not abandon them for anything."

"Bella," Alice began.

I cut her off. "No. This is out of the question. I've told you everything because I agree to a certain extent that you deserve to know what happened to me. But you should know that you have no control over my life, and I don't want you to." My eyes flickered back to Edward, flashing. "Not after he broke me."

Edward winced, and he dropped his eyes. He looked ashamed, and he shifted jerkily, as though he was fighting the urge to run away.

"Go ahead," I shot at him. "Run away." I felt a surge of hatred. "It's what you do best, isn't it? Twenty years ago or now, you're still the same, Edward."

He was in pain. My words had hit a sore spot, I was sure.

Jasper tried to send a wave of calm. While the others relaxed at the tense atmosphere, Edward and I weren't affected. He was too upset, and I was too angry.

"You left me to defend myself. What made you think I could do it? Even when I was trying to forget everything about your world, I wasn't able to. You decided on everything all by yourself without even pausing to think what it would do to me, and this is the result!"

I shook my head. "I didn't want this. The moment you left, everything changed. I didn't want to live like this, I didn't want to be a vampire. I wanted to forget. And just when I was trying to, I became stuck in this condition, unable to move on. I blame you, Edward. I'm not going to pretend nothing happened between us. I can't see you or your family anymore.

"So please. I beg of you." I turned to everyone else. "Leave me be."

"Bella," Alice pleaded. "You have to understand. Edward-"

"Leave me alone," I repeated. "I can't even consider trying to forgive all of you while I'm with Steven and Renesmee. I've decided to devote my pointless life to supporting them, and I can't do it with all of you in the way. I'm sorry."

I walked past their devastated forms and attempted to walk back toward the house. I paused when Alice abruptly yelled, "We can't promise that we'll leave you alone. You have to understand that we _can't_. Not anymore. All of us were affected too when we left. You were part of our family, and it tore us apart. Whether you believe it or not, it's the truth. So, we're sorry, Bella, but we can't do that."

Incredulous, I spun back around to face them. Though Alice had spoken, they all looked like they agreed wholeheartedly to what she'd just said. Even Rosalie, who had acted so antagonistically toward me.

Curious as to what had motivated Alice to say such things made me open my gift. My eyes focused on Carlisle specifically, delving into his past. I skipped over the childhood I'd already seen and the many years he'd spent with his family. I finally came across the scenes in which I'd entered into the Cullens' lives.

I watched as the entire family protested at Edward's unwavering decision to leave me. Carlisle had been extremely saddened to leave me, and he'd seen the same devastation in everyone else. Especially...Edward.

I focused on Esme's point of view. What would she have thought of the whole ordeal?

I was surprised yet again. She was reasoning with Edward, pleading with him...even angry that he hadn't let her say goodbye. She watched him live on miserably, his eyes dark and refusing to hunt...

Emmett. He and Jasper were dragging Edward into the forest, forcing him to hunt. After taking down a deer, Edward was retreating back into his room. His eyes looked just as dead as mine had been when he'd first left.

Rosalie. She felt exasperation at her brother's misery. Why did he even leave if he couldn't live without me? She watched his beautiful piano pile up with dust that Esme had to clear every day. His cars were left untouched in their garage.

Alice's memories shocked me. She and the entire family winced when there came loud crashes of things breaking up in Edward's room. Heavy crashes and yells of anger and frustration could be heard. He was suddenly running out the door, muttering his apology as he escaped. She and Esme would go upstairs to clean his trashed bedroom...

Jasper's head was inclined, as if wondering about the shock he felt within me. His eyes were curious as I focused on his memories. He had tried to persuade Edward to let go, that I was going to be fine. He'd winced every time he felt Edward's misery, and I could feel them with him. I winced and recoiled.

Was I mistaken? Assuming that Edward had been fine when he'd left me had been wrong. He, too, had been just as miserable as I'd been, maybe even more. But how was that possible? He had told me that he didn't love me anymore. He had insisted that I couldn't come with him. As far as I had been concerned, he'd been done with me.

Had he lied?

It took me a moment to recover from Jasper's memories. The Cullens were frowning at my pained expression.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked in concern. "What happened? What are you-"

My eyes swiveled to Edward. There was only one way to confirm my questions, and it was to watch his recollections of the past twenty years.

He looked startled when my eyes bored into his, my head cocking to one side. I didn't even feel self-conscious and felt the need to look away, like I'd always needed to. His brows furrowed in confusion.

He was sweeping away everything in sight: glass vases, his beloved bookcases filled with his CDs and books... He was covering his ears as he shook his head back and forth, trying to deny the pain that he felt.

This was worse than Jasper's memories. To feel his pain directly...it was hell. I couldn't stop myself from letting out a sound of protest as I squirmed, trying to turn everything off. His days had been filled with nothing but pain and misery, doing nothing productive and missing me like crazy. Loving me.

He had lied. Every word he'd said that day in the forest was a lie. He still loved me. He still missed me. He couldn't let me go, just like me.

I couldn't find myself. Where was I? I was still trapped in his memories of pain, and I couldn't back out. I needed to turn it off...

"Bella!" Edward was instantly by my side, reaching out to touch me. He sounded so worried, so concerned...

His movement did it. My eyes were still focused on the spot he'd been just moments ago, and when he left to come to my side, I felt a little better. Though his past could still be seen in my peripheral vision, it wasn't as bad as being able to see it directly.

I took a deep breath and turned it off. I was able to breathe again. I was able to back away from Edward's bewildered figure, wary of him.

I felt so confused. I'd spent the last twenty years resenting him for everything that had happened. Now, suddenly, I'd found out that my blame had been pointless because he had only left me for my own good. What was I supposed to direct my anger and resentment toward now?

I resisted the urge to cry. I bit my lip.

"Bella..." Edward whispered, his hand still raised, trying to reach for me. "I..."

I shook my head rapidly. "Don't. Don't say anything."

He shut up. He just stared at me with wide eyes, wondering what I'd just done to put myself in such pain.

I needed time to absorb everything. I had to process it. He still loved me. He had hurt himself to protect me. It wasn't his fault. None of it was making sense right now.

"What's going on?"

The familiar voice made my head snap up, and I was brought back to reality.

Steven looked confused as he stood at the threshold of the house. He scratched his head, blinking.

Edward stiffened and glanced at me worriedly. He didn't know how much Steven knew.

I was instantly at Steven's side, surprising the Cullens at my speed. They'd expected me to move more slowly. "Nothing, Steve. Why did you wake up?"

"I heard someone yelling," he said. "I thought I had to be the one to save Nessie for a change." He grinned, despite the tense atmosphere. "You had everything under control, as usual."

I turned my head to glare at Alice, who looked guilty. "I'm sorry we woke you up, honey. Why don't you go back to sleep?"

Edward flinched at my words of endearment for Steven. I didn't think twice about it – I was mainly worrying about what he would ask.

And ask, he did.

Steven scanned the Cullens. He didn't ask the questions that normal people would ask. Instead, he asked, "Am I interrupting something?"

They were surprised, yet again. I'd told them that he was sharp.

"No, Steve," I answered, before anyone else could. "We're fine. I was just coming inside anyway. Ness is a bit restless."

"Yeah?" Steve stifled a yawn. "I should check on her."

"No, sweetie, I'll check on her," I told him. "Go to sleep."

"'Kay," he mumbled. He glanced at Edward, who was closest to me, then frowned. Something flashed in his eyes, and Edward blinked as he read Steve's mind. He nodded a few times, mumbling something inaudible before turning to go back inside. "I expect introductions very soon, Bells." He yawned as he disappeared inside. "Good to see you again, Carlisle."

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to look at the Cullens. Carlisle was smiling slightly in wonder and amusement. "I can see why you're so attracted to him, Bella."

I gave him a look of confusion. Such strange words he'd chosen to use. "You should all leave."

"I'm not done talking to you," Alice said stoutly, pouting.

I sighed. I glanced back inside the house when I heard Steven collapse on his bed again. His snores picked up once more. "It won't do any good to pique everyone's interest, but you can sit with me at lunch tomorrow. Good night."

They looked considerably happier. Emmett and Rosalie shot me a tentative smile before being the first ones to disappear back into the forest. Jasper gave me a nod before following. Alice grinned and waved.

"Good night, Bella," Esme whispered as she and Carlisle, too, left.

Edward was the only one left. I couldn't meet his eyes. Not after knowing everything.

_Where did this leave us?_ I wondered. An impasse. Again. I shut my eyes at the memory of my first dance with Edward, where he'd refused to change me into a vampire.

I swallowed before opening my eyes again. "Leave, Edward," I said, turning around, not wanting to see him. If I saw his pained expression again, I might not be able to walk away so easily.

He was suddenly right behind me. I shivered at the electricity between us, the spark that had always been there. We were of the same temperature now. There was no danger of him resisting the urge to kill me himself. We were the same.

And that scared me. What would happen if I let my heart open up to him again? I was afraid of getting hurt.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he murmured. "For everything."

I didn't move. Finally, I sighed. "I'll see you at school."

I stepped inside and closed the door in his face. I saw a flicker of hope flash in his eyes before I shut the door, locking it.

I turned and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. Edward Cullen. He would always be the death of me, whether we were together or not.

My head snapped up when I heard Renesmee cry out in her sleep. "Bella!" she cried frantically. "Bella!"

I was by her side instantly. She was sitting up on her bed, her curls messed up and tears in her eyes. I hugged her close.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" I asked, gently stroking her hair.

I could feel her relax into me immediately as she hugged me as tightly as she could. Her heart was beating very quickly, and I could tell that she had a horrible nightmare. She started sobbing hysterically.

"Bella...Bella..." she cried. "You were crying. You were so hurt. And you were leaving me. Don't leave, Bella. Don't leave me."

"I won't, sweetheart," I said softly. "Never. I wouldn't dream of it."

"Don't cry anymore, Bella," she begged. "Don't be sad."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and kissed her forehead lightly. "I'll try."

I could still hear him outside, now at the edge of the forest, listening to us.

* * *

**AN: Whew! Just imagine how Edward feels after hearing all that! Review, review, review!**


	12. Chapter 12: Visitors

**Author's Note: Hi, everyone. Here's another set of updates for you... Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**Edward's Point of View**

I was surprised at how close Bella seemed with the Bones. Bella was instantly up in the little girl's room when she called for her. She was just like a mother, not a cousin or merely a friend helping out. She was maternal. She loved them.

The fact made me sad. Although she hadn't shut out love completely, it made me feel guilty that it was I who had made her like this. Damned with immortality and finding no other purpose in life but to help this human family.

The way she had interacted with Steven and had called him terms of endearment had bothered me greatly. Jasper could tell. I was jealous when I had no right to feel that way. I wanted to claim Bella as mine forever, even if I had no authority to do that anymore.

She had asked us to stay away, asked _me_ to stay away. But Alice had been right – I couldn't do that anymore. Twenty years was enough.

I hadn't been able to resist going to her side when she'd suddenly looked pained. She'd just looked at us blankly, concentrating very hard on something before she'd gotten to me. She'd looked so shocked, so vulnerable for the first time. Had she been using her unique gift? Had she been able to see our past, how we'd lived for the past twenty years?

I gazed up at Renesmee's dark window. She still knew I was here, obviously, and yet, she didn't seem to care. Right now, this little human girl needed her, and she was there. The girl surprised me once more with her love and loyalty for Bella when she begged for her not to be sad.

Bella sighed minutely. "I'll try."

Her response pained me. I now knew of Bella's strong love for the girl, and I also knew that she would never break any promise to her. She knew she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't be sad anymore. She was promising that she would try, not that she would be happier when the girl woke up tomorrow.

The wariness in which she had displayed tonight gave a clear answer: She would not associate with us anymore. She had told us that much. She didn't trust us anymore. And most of all, she did not trust me.

How would I ever get her back if she wouldn't even open up her heart to trusting me?

The feat seemed impossible, and the goal was far away. I couldn't see the bright light opening up for me. When she had not responded antagonistically when I'd told her I was sorry, I'd felt a slight flicker of hope.

But maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe there was no hope after all.

* * *

I could hear my family a few miles away, waiting patiently for me to join them. But I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. To leave Bella again. I missed her already, even though I could still hear her musical voice talking to the little girl soothingly. Lunch with her tomorrow at school seemed years away.

The girl finally seemed to calm down. "Bella?" she asked sleepily. "Where were you tonight?"

Bella answered promptly, and I understood something else about their relationship. She would never lie to the girl. If she confronted her about being a vampire, she would tell the truth. She would never hurt her, like I had done to her. "I was outside, in the woods."

"Again? What were you doing?"

"Go to sleep, Nessie," Bella avoided.

"I know, I know. Need-to-know, right?"

I heard the smile in Bella's voice. "Right." She kissed the girl. "No more bad dreams, honey. I promise I'll stay with you the entire night."

She giggled. "Are your eyes gold again? I can't see."

"Why don't you check them yourself in the morning?" Bella played along.

"You're not hungry anymore," Renesmee stated confidently, though her words were slurred. She was falling back asleep.

Bella laughed softly. "No, Ness. I'm not hungry."

"You smell nice," Renesmee commented. "Like...freesias. And strawberry." She sighed, content. "It makes me feel comfy, like I'm at home."

"Shh," Bella said quietly. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. You're tired."

And then, almost absently, it seemed, she began to hum the lullaby that I'd composed for her, the one I'd sung to her every night when _she_ had slept. The gesture touched me. It probably didn't mean anything to her right now, but the familiar tune that I hadn't heard in so long inspired me. I suddenly longed to get home to touch the piano.

"Bella?" Renesmee murmured again. This time, it was barely audible. "I love you."

My dead heart warmed slightly at the three words. The words I had spoken to my only love about a hundred times. The ones that had betrayed me when I'd spoken a single word against my feelings, making her believe me instantly that I didn't want her anymore.

And I knew: I couldn't hate the Bones. They loved her just as much as my family did. That was just it: Bella was family to them. Forget the fact that she was different, and that they knew that. She was an important presence in their lives, and my family and I couldn't take her away forcibly. It was a bond that was familiar, the relationship I'd seen in my own family.

And I couldn't hate the little girl for taking Bella away from me. She was the reason Bella refused to open up her heart toward me, and yet, I found my thoughts being turned against my wishes. I couldn't hate anyone or anything that loved Bella.

My family heard. They understood. They knew exactly how I felt.

Bella laughed lightly. "I know. I love you too, Renesmee."

The little girl sighed happily before beginning to snore delicately. It made Bella laugh again. I stayed still near the edge of the forest, listening to her place the girl back in her bed. True to her word, Bella didn't leave Renesmee's side once, sitting on the rocking chair near her bed. It reminded me of the many nights I'd spent in Bella's own bedroom, watching her sleep and listening to her speak my name.

I didn't know how many hours I spent standing there. My family had left earlier, understanding that I couldn't leave at the moment. The dark skies began to lighten slightly, and it was when I could finally see the gray clouds rolling in that I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Come home, Edward," Alice said quietly, looking up at the silent house. "It's five o'clock. It's nearly time to go to school, and you should hunt before we leave. Bella will be fine, you know. She has no intention of leaving."

The only affirmation from Renesmee's bedroom was the slight creaking of the steady rhythm of the rocking chair. It reassured me.

I nodded, finally tearing my eyes away from the window. I heard Alice whisper, "See you later, Bella," before following me back into the depth of the forest.

**Bella's Point of View**

Renesmee seemed pleased when she found that I had indeed watched her sleep all night. She gave me a tight hug when she awoke, and it was only when I reminded her that I let her sleep past her alarm that she fled to the bathroom to get ready, terrified of being late.

Steven had woken up all by himself, diligent as usual, about half an hour ago. I had just finished laying down two plates of pancakes, eggs, and bacon on the dining room table when he trudged in, yawning but otherwise looking refreshed and relaxed.

"Smells good, Bella," he said, shooting me a smile. "Won't you join us?"

He asked the question every day, although he knew I didn't eat. It was sort of a joke for him, teasing me about my difference. I didn't mind, and enjoyed humoring him.

I rolled my eyes, sitting down next to Renesmee's chair as I waited for her. "Just eat, Steve."

He chuckled and took a big bite. "Good as always."

Renesmee flounced into the room, wearing a pink dress, white leggings, and flats. She dropped her backpack, parka, and scarf next to her chair before sitting down. "Good morning, Daddy. Hi, Bella."

Steven swallowed his bite and took a sip of his coffee. He nodded. "Morning yourself, little princess. What, are you trying to impress someone other than me?" He pouted.

Renesmee giggled. "I decided to play with Bobby a little bit."

Steven chuckled. "Poor guy."

"I want orange juice, Bella," Renesmee pouted, looking at the milk that I'd poured for her. "You know that."

I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "And you know that at your age, you need to be drinking milk so you can grow up to be taller than I am. Drink up. I always give you orange juice when you get home."

She grimaced but reached for the milk. She must have been thirsty because she drank half of it before starting on her breakfast. "Mm, Bella. This is really good!"

"Thank you," I told her. I turned to her father, who was lost in the world of food, completely forgetting that he had a teacher's meeting today. "You'd better leave soon, Steven. It's nearly eight."

"What?" Steven looked up, his mouth full. He looked at the clock, and his eyes widened. "Mm!" He made a sound of muffled protest. He rushed out of the room to get his things.

Renesmee shook her head. "Typical Daddy."

"Bye!" he called as he raced out the door.

"Be careful!" I said, but of course he wouldn't hear. I sighed as his car pulled away.

Renesmee finished her breakfast in record time and downed the milk. She grimaced. "I don't like milk."

I smiled. "We're going to be late. Can you wait one minute while I dress?"

She nodded, putting on her parka. I disappeared from her side for exactly thirty seconds before I rejoined her. "Come on, sweetheart."

She walked to the car, calling, "That was thirty seconds!"

I grinned. Sharp, like her father. She was always counting.

* * *

I was still laughing when I turned into Lincoln High School's parking lot. It was amusing the way Renesmee had tripped over her own feet when she'd seen Bobby wave hi to her this morning. She pretended not to, but she liked him back.

My smile vanished when I saw the Cullen siblings in front of their car, staring at me curiously. I parked as far away as I could from them and got out, trying not to smash my beloved car to bits at the sudden rush of anger and frustration.

"Hi, Bella!"

I resisted the urge not to yell out at her. "This is school, Alice," I muttered, pushing past her and heading toward the building. I tried to ignore the humans' incredulous stares as we passed them, with Alice flouncing by my side, trying to keep up with my quickened pace.

"I know," Alice chirped. "That's why I'm doing this. You can't do anything to us at school." She grinned when I glowered.

"I said lunch, not in the morning," I hissed. I shot a glare at the rest of her siblings that approached me, but they ignored me.

"Oh, who cares?" Alice said, rolling her eyes and slipping her arm through mine. "Lunch or not, it's better to get the stares and whispers over with, right?"

I pulled my arm away. "Go away, Alice."

She pouted but didn't give up. She was persistent, for sure. That hadn't changed. She didn't try to touch me again, but she and her siblings did follow me to my locker. She was chattering away like there hadn't been twenty years of gap between us.

"Renesmee is so _cute_, Bella!" she gushed. "Can you introduce me to her? I promise I won't say anything, of course not! She has an aptitude in fashion, and I want to teach her everything I can about how to dress herself. And if she wants to look good for Bobby, she'll have to put makeup on and-"

"She's six, Alice," I snapped, instantly protective. "Their little crush is cute, but she can dress herself when she's sixteen."

She pouted. "The least you can do is introduce us. I mean, we'll be around you a lot from now on, and she'll be curious." She flashed me an innocent smile when I huffed in annoyance. "Oh, am I annoying you?"

"Do you need to ask?" I shut the door to my locker and walked away. "Leave me alone."

"Take it slow, Alice," I heard Emmett say.

Alice scoffed. "She doesn't mind. Right, Bella?" she called after me.

I turned the corner, ignoring her. I was thinking about Edward's neutral expression as he stared at me interacting with his sister. It was too carefully arranged, like he was forcing himself to be calm.

It was unnatural.

* * *

"Hi, Bella!" Alice said, popping out of nowhere as I grabbed an apple and a lemonade. "Is that all you're getting?"

I brushed away her hand as gently as I could. I was angry with all of them, still unforgiving, but that didn't mean I wanted to hurt them back in revenge. "Go away, Alice."

"You can't say that to me," she said. "You promised lunch time for all of us. You can't deny us that."

"People are already staring as it is," I murmured, paying for the props. "I don't want to draw attention to myself more than necessary."

She scoffed, also grabbing her lunch tray. "You really don't see yourself clearly after all this time. People paid attention to you long before today. Since twenty years ago, in fact."

I turned and headed for my usual table at the far right corner...and stopped. Because the Cullens just _had_ to steal away my seat too. I wondered if I could take shelter in my car instead of just facing them – they were really pushing their luck.

"Oh, no, you don't," Alice snapped, suddenly there when I turned to leave. "You're sitting with us. You promised." Her chin came up slightly, challenging me. "You don't break your promises to Nessie, so you shouldn't break any promises at all."

I felt like taking my anger out on her. I really did. I came so close to baring my teeth and snarling, but I fought back the urge. Not here. Not now.

"Come on, Bella," she said, taking my arm and pulling me toward her family. "March."

I glared at the ground as I was dragged away reluctantly. She plopped me down in front of Edward, much to my displeasure, and sat on my other side, trapping me between her and Jasper.

"Hi, Bella," Emmett said cheerfully. "Bad mood today?" He guffawed at his own joke.

I turned my dissatisfied gaze toward him. He frowned. "Aw, come on, Bella. Be a good sport."

"How was Renesmee this morning?" Rosalie asked hesitantly. "We heard her cry out in her sleep before we left last night."

My eyes flickered to her. I knew from her past that she'd always craved for a child of her own. She loved children, from their noisy whines to their cute exterior. She envied me at the moment, to be able to be so close to a human child and to receive her love.

"She's fine," I said curtly. She bit her lip at my antagonism. It was ironic how the tables had turned.

"You still haven't answered my question, Bella," Alice said impatiently. "Steven did say that he wanted introductions, and I want to meet Nessie. Please?"

"Who's Nessie?" Emmett asked blankly.

"It's Renesmee's nickname," Alice answered promptly. "Keep up, Em."

"No," I said. "I'm sorry, but I don't want her to ask questions and get confused. It's bad enough that you're all back in my life."

I could feel the stares on my back. They were wondering if we already knew each other. Obviously.

"Please?" Alice pleaded. "Pretty please, with a cherry on top? She's the cutest thing ever! She's so sweet."

My hardened expression softened slightly at the sincerity I detected in her tone. She really wanted to meet her. "No."

"Whatever," Alice said, waving her hand in dismissal. "Edward and I are coming to visit you after school anyway. I've already seen it."

I turned my head to look at her. "No."

She smirked. "We'll see. You won't do anything to displease Nessie, and you just wait. She'll love us."

I glowered at her. "I told you that I didn't want to associate with any of you."

"As long as Nessie is in your life, you won't," Alice corrected. "But don't worry. We can change that."

My eyes narrowed. "What are you planning, pixie?"

She grinned. "We can be in her life too."

"No."

"She won't know a thing."

"She's sharp enough," I said harshly. "She doesn't need anymore hints. Leave it be."

Rosalie opened her mouth to protest, but I rose, not wanting to hear it anymore. I tossed my apple into a trash can that was forty feet away, and it landed with a loud thunk. The human boys all cheered at the shoot, but I ignored them as I left my unopened lemonade on the salad bar for reuse.

* * *

"Hi, sweetie," I said, smiling brightly. "How was school today?"

Renesmee breathed in my scent and I felt her relax. "We had art today. I made a sculpture of you." She flashed me an innocent grin.

I chuckled. "Well, I'm honored. Come on, it's cold. Let's get you home."

"What's for dinner?" she asked as we drove home.

"I was planning on steak tonight," I answered, turning the corner of our street. I froze noticeably when I saw the now familiar black Mercedes sitting on the curb in front of our house.

"That's fine," Renesmee agreed. Then, she noticed my tension. "What's the matter, Bella?" She noticed the Mercedes. "Ooh!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Guests! You didn't tell me you were having friends over, Bella!"

"I wasn't," I said, gritting my teeth.

"Who are they?" Renesmee asked interestedly as I parked in the driveway. "They're so beautiful, like you!" She turned to look at me, her eyes widening in comprehension. "Oh..."

I pursed my lips. I exited the car and was instantly at Renesmee's side of the car. I glowered at Edward and Alice for a moment before reluctantly opening the door and freeing her of the car seat.

Renesmee hopped out lightly and studied my old acquaintances in fascination. I was vaguely amused when I saw Edward looking apprehensive and Alice bouncing excitedly.

I took Renesmee's hand and we slowly approached them. Since Alice's preoccupied eyes were on Renesmee in wonder, I glared at Edward, who was staring at me. "I wasn't aware you were coming over. A warning would've been nice."

"Who cares, Bella?" Renesmee chirped. "It's nice to have guests." She grinned and tugged at my hand. "I know who they are."

"You do?" Alice asked lightly. She had a perfectly friendly smile on her face, perfect to lure in innocent children like the girl next to me. If I hadn't known Alice as well as I did, I would've been wary of her, afraid that she would hurt Renesmee.

Renesmee nodded. "You're the Cullens. You're new in town, right?"

Alice laughed. "You're very smart, aren't you?"

"I hear things," Renesmee answered promptly. She looked at me, her beautiful eyes narrowed. "You didn't tell me that you knew them so well."

I stared at her, worried I'd upset her. "I'm sorry, sweetie. There wasn't a chance to tell you."

"Were you even going to tell me?" she asked, pouting. "You're always so secretive about yourself, after all."

I sighed and stepped forward to open the door. "I'm sorry, honey. Forgive me."

"Oh, who cares?" she said brightly. "It's good that I know now, right?"

Alice shot me a triumphant grin. "Of course, Nessie. You're perfectly right, without a doubt."

"You know my name?"

Alice smiled as she followed Renesmee inside. They were acting like they were already best friends, which bothered me. If she got too attached...

"Of course I know," Alice answered. "Bella talks a lot about you. She loves you a lot, you know."

I heard Renesmee giggle in delight. "I know! She's so sweet, right?"

Edward gestured for me to go in, always the gentleman. I stepped inside as he followed, closing the door behind him and locking it carefully. We joined Alice and Renesmee, who were sitting on the stool behind the counter of the kitchen island.

"So, so, so?" Renesmee asked, bouncing excitedly in her seat. She had thrown her parka, scarf, and backpack in three different directions. "Aren't you going to introduce me, Bella?"

I sighed as I picked the three items up in vampire speed and laid them neatly on a chair. Edward smiled as he sat on Renesmee's other side, looking rather relaxed and happy for the first time since I'd seen him.

I glowered at all three of them from behind the other side of the counter, still standing. "I don't really want to." I turned to make Renesmee her snack.

"Oh, you're being rude, Bella," Alice scolded mockingly. "Fine. I'll introduce myself. I'm Alice. It's really nice to meet you." She looked expectantly at Edward. So did Renesmee.

"I'm Edward," Edward said. "Nice to meet you, Renesmee."

Renesmee grinned. "You too. You're really handsome," she added shyly.

Alice laughed her tinkling laugh while Edward chuckled. "Thank you," he replied.

"So how do you know Bella?" she asked, taking the sandwich I'd just made her. She bit into it. "Orange juice!"

I smiled reluctantly and turned to the refrigerator.

"We met her in Forks, Washington," Alice answered. "She was a junior there, just seventeen." She winked when I glared at her warningly. "And she was such a clumsy girl!"

"Clumsy?" Renesmee repeated. She giggled. "That's weird. She's so graceful now. Like a ballerina. I asked her once if she danced, and she laughed and said she couldn't dance to save her life. Can _you_ dance, Alice?"

"Oh, very well," Alice assured her. "What about you?"

"A little. I can sing too." She turned to Edward. "What about you, Edward?"

Edward looked startled. "I..." He looked at Alice for help. It seemed he was lost when it came to children. He glanced at me sheepishly when I scoffed softly.

"Edward can sing really well," Alice chirped. "He's very musical. He's excellent at the piano. He makes his own songs and everything. He's even made a lullaby for Bella, you know!"

"Really?" Renesmee looked far too interested. "Wow. Can you sing it for me?"

"She's already sung it to you many times, Ness," Alice said, before Edward could answer. "It's the one she sings when you're about to fall asleep."

She was surprised. "Really? This one?" She hummed a few bars, and Alice nodded in affirmation.

"The very one."

"You created that?" Renesmee asked, looking at Edward, impressed. "For Bella? That's so sweet!"

I sighed and decided to intervene before they could say anything else. Today was really not my day. "I'm sorry, Ness. We're all out of orange juice."

She pouted immediately. "You promised me orange juice!"

"I know, honey, I'm sorry. Do you want to wait here with Alice and Edward while I run down to the grocery store?"

She looked surprised. "You would trust me with them?"

I looked at her. "Why not?"

"Well, you always said not to follow strangers."

"We're not strangers!" Alice said. "We're friends! We've known Bella for years!"

Renesmee looked at me for answers. I sighed again. "I'm not particularly happy about them being here, but I do trust them."

Alice grinned, and Edward fought back a smile. Renesmee looked reassured. "Oh, good."

"But you don't have to go to the store, Bella," Alice said, before I could take one more step. "We bought some orange juice on our way here. It's in the trunk of the Mercedes. Edward, why don't you go get it for her?"

"That wasn't necessary-" I began, but Edward was already passing me, heading for his car. I slammed my fist on the counter. "Alice!"

"How did you know to get orange juice?" Renesmee asked, her eyes wide. "Even Bella didn't know."

"I have my ways," Alice said mysteriously, wagging her eyebrows. Renesmee stared at her before shrugging and accepting her answer. She was already kept in the dark about how I always seemed to know how she felt about the things that I didn't have anything to do with, thanks to my gift. She understood that this also counted as a need-to-know basis, and that she should accept the facts as is.

Alice knew this, obviously. She winked as Edward returned with the carton, setting it down on the counter in front of me gently. "Here you are."

I held my breath as the gap between us closed, and I could tell he brushed past my arm on purpose when he headed back to his seat. I took a deep breath before saying, "Thank you," and turning to get a cup.

"I have a question," Renesmee said after thanking all three of us for the juice. "Bella never tells me this, but since you've known her for a long time, I want to ask you."

"Ask away, sweetheart," Alice said swiftly.

"How old is she?"

I gazed at the young girl amusedly. "Of all things to be curious about, Nessie."

Alice laughed. "Why are you curious about that?"

She shrugged. "She never tells me her age. She's timeless. She's a college student, and then, after we move, she poses as a junior in high school. She looks like she could be in college when she's in college, and she looks like a high school student when she's in high school. I know she can't be as old as Daddy."

Edward smiled at her, just as amused as I was. "Bella was right," he mused. "You really are very sharp."

Renesmee grinned. "It's a gift."

This made Alice and Edward both laugh, while I rolled my eyes. "Need-to-know, Renesmee."

She shrugged. "I'm just curious," she said defensively.

"She's _supposed_ to be twenty," Alice said carefully. "But she can be anything else. Age is just a number, Nessie."

She processed that for a minute. "Okay, fine. How old are you, Alice?"

"Eighteen," she answered automatically.

"Edward?"

"Seventeen," he replied, just as quickly.

Renesmee scoffed. "I'm not going to believe that!" She giggled for a moment before sipping her juice. "Alright. Let's say, for your sake, that you're twenty, eighteen, and seventeen. Deal?"

Alice chuckled. "Deal."

"I thought you had more siblings," Renesmee said, turning to Edward. "Why didn't they come?"

The question was obviously meant for Edward, and Alice kept silent this time. Edward thought for a moment before answering. "They thought it best not to overwhelm you and Bella. They want to meet you, though," he added in reassurance.

"Oh, good, I want to meet them too," Renesmee said, satisfied. "Can you come back tomorrow with them? Please?"

"Renesmee," I said sternly. I didn't want to see the Cullens at our house again tomorrow.

"Of course," Edward said, smiling gently. "We'd love to."

Renesmee smiled. "Good. I can't wait."

I stared at Edward, displeased. He smiled at me apologetically, and at the sight of that crooked smile, I felt my heart melt. I couldn't stay angry with him anymore. I looked away, before I could give up on myself.

"Can you buy me gum tomorrow?" Renesmee wanted to know.

"Nessie!" I scolded.

She pouted. "You never buy me gum, Bella."

"No gum," I said severely to Alice's crestfallen expression. "I forbid it."

Alice looked disappointed for a moment before perking up again. "Okay. No gum. That doesn't mean we can't buy her other things, right?"

"Alice!"

"Don't you worry, honey," Alice said to Renesmee. "We'll buy you something better than gum."

I closed my eyes while Renesmee whooped. "I would kick you out right now, but-"

"-but you can't because Nessie loves us so much, right?" Alice finished. "I know."

"Bella, you have such good friends!" Renesmee exclaimed. "Why didn't you introduce me before?"

I looked at her, resigned. "Don't push your luck, Renesmee Bones."

* * *

**AN: So, now you know, to an extent, what the summary of this story meant. Bella doesn't want to associate with the Cullens, but she has no choice when her little girl loves those golden-eyed vampires! In other words, she's putty in Renesmee's hands. Review?**


	13. Chapter 13: Indecision

**Author's Note: Let's see what happens next! Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**Edward's Point of View**

"She's the cutest thing ever!" Alice gushed to the rest of my eager family. "She's so sweet. She cares about Bella so much, and she's so intelligent and bright, and..."

She prattled on while I thought back to the way Bella had looked so exasperated with us. I had to admit that it hadn't been very polite to drop in unannounced, but I'd missed her so much, even if school had ended only a half hour ago. The way she'd looked at me told me that she definitely didn't want to forgive me yet, but I could wait. I would wait forever for her.

"She wants to see the rest of you," Alice informed our siblings. "We promised to visit again tomorrow."

Rosalie perked up. "Really? She trusts us?" She sounded hesitantly hopeful.

"Bella told her that she trusted us, and Renesmee believed her instantly," Alice said. "She's _amazing_. She didn't even ask questions about my gift, and she agreed to let us claim that we were telling her the truth about our ages. She's so cute."

"I can't wait," Emmett said, grinning. He rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I lost a little sister twenty years ago. I gain two more now!"

Carlisle and Esme smiled happily at the renewed happiness in the house. They could see that even I seemed more relaxed after spending an afternoon with Bella and Renesmee.

"Have fun, all of you," Esme told us. "Just be careful, alright? She's still very young – we don't want to scare her."

"Oh, she's a brave one," Alice said. "She'll be fine. She's very open-minded about everything. Rose, we need to go buy her some clothes. I promised that we'll bring her something better than gum tomorrow."

Rosalie nodded readily. "What do you have in mind?"

She and Alice were chattering away at once, pitching in ideas about what to get her. Within five minutes, they were heading toward the nearest mall, at eight o'clock in the evening.

"You look better," Jasper commented, sitting next to me. "You feel better too."

I glanced at him. "I feel much better."

He smiled. "You saw Bella, and you spent time with the girl that loves her to death. What did you think of Renesmee?"

I was thoughtful. "She's sharp, certainly, for a human. I could look inside her mind and see that. But it was interesting to see it personally, just the same. She's very good for Bella."

"She'll be good for you too, then," Jasper mused. "Since you can't hate anyone who loves Bella."

I smiled ruefully. "You're probably right."

**Bella's Point of View**

I'd warned Alice not to bring a thing when they come over this afternoon. They all seemed pretty excited about it, even Rosalie. Mostly Rosalie, actually. She looked impatient at the prospect of having to go through the last two periods for the school day to end.

Alice had answered me innocently, purposely avoiding to promise not to bring anything. "Oh, Bella, you're being ridiculous."

I could never beat the Cullens, could I? If I didn't know any better, Alice and Rosalie had gone to the nearest shopping center last night to buy Renesmee clothes. I disapproved, but how could I prove that they did? I would have to wait until later.

Renesmee, too, seemed excited at the idea of meeting the rest of my 'friends'. She was glad to meet more beautiful people, but it worried me. What if she bumped into more vampires in the future and thought they were just as friendly as we were? I would have to warn her when she got a little bit older, when she could understand better.

Renesmee squealed excitedly when we arrived home and saw the five Cullen siblings waiting for us. "They're here!"

I took a deep breath. "Renesmee, please. Try to calm down."

"Let me out! Let me out! Bella, hurry!"

"Behave yourselves," I muttered under my breath as I reached Renesmee's door. As soon as I let her out of the car seat, she jumped out and ran straight for Alice.

"Hi, Alice!"

"Hi, Nessie!" Alice greeted her cheerily. "Did you have a good day at school?"

"No," she pouted. "It was slow."

Alice laughed. "For us, too."

Renesmee threw her arms around Edward as well, surprising him. After a moment of hesitation, he hugged her back gently. "Hello, Renesmee."

"Hi, Edward," she said. "Did you come to see Bella or me?" She giggled as my eyes widened in shock. What did she know? She surprised me every time.

Edward glanced at me in amusement. He humored her by pretending to whisper into her ear, while knowing the rest of us could hear his answer. "Both."

Renesmee laughed. "You probably wanted to see Bella more than me." Before he could answer, she turned to the rest of them.

She should've been intimidated by Emmett's huge form and Jasper's natural charisma. She should've been wary of Rosalie's scarily beautiful figure. But she talked to them just fine. Being young and not knowing anything was blissful.

"Hi!" she said, waving up at them.

Rosalie knelt by her so that she could be within eye level. "Hello, Renesmee," she said softly. "My name is Rosalie."

"Rosalie," Renesmee repeated, smiling. "You're beautiful."

Rosalie smiled widely and sincerely, the first time I'd seen her so happy. "You are too," she told her.

"'Sup, Ness?" Emmett said easily, holding out his fist. Renesmee bumped it happily. "I'm Emmett. Big bro, right here."

She giggled. "You're so big!"

"Yeah?" Emmett waggled his eyebrows. He picked her up and swung her around, making her squeal happily.

I frowned in disapproval. "You'll get hurt, Ness."

"No, I won't," Renesmee said when Emmett finally came to a stop. "Emmett will make sure I won't fall. I trust him."

Emmett grinned widely. "She trusts me, Bella. No worries." He winked.

"Hello, little lady," Jasper said, smiling. "I'm Jasper."

"Jasper," Renesmee said, shaking the hand he offered her. "Are you from the south? You have a cowboy accent."

Jasper was surprised at her observant statement. "Yes, I am. You're very smart, aren't you?"

"I get that a lot," Renesmee said, nodding seriously.

They all laughed good-naturedly. Fighting a smile myself, I opened the door and let them all inside.

"Bella, will you make me hot cocoa?" Renesmee asked, following me into the kitchen like a puppy. "It's cold outside."

"You just noticed?" I teased lightly. "Sit down, honey."

"Can I sit next to Edward?" she asked, surprising me.

Edward looked taken aback, but recovered quickly. He smiled as he patted the seat next to him. "Come here, Nessie."

I was intrigued at Renesmee's obvious interest in him. She didn't seem to be a little girl who was crushing on a good-looking teenager who was physically eleven years older than she was. She merely looked eager to interrogate him. I recognized the expression on her face; I'd seen it on Alice too many times before. She was scheming something.

"You've all known Bella for a long time?" she asked.

"A very long time," Emmett muttered under his breath, just as Alice answered, "A bit."

"Can you tell me everything about her?" Renesmee asked innocently, shooting a pretty smile toward me.

My eyes narrowed. "Renesmee Janet Bones, what are you planning?"

"Nothing!" Renesmee chirped, but she couldn't fool me. Besides, Edward laughed when he read what she was thinking.

"You know perfectly well that I can choose to know what you're planning, Ness," I told her, passing her the hot cocoa.

"But you're not going to," she said confidently. "You hate the pictures."

I pursed my lips. "True enough." I looked pointedly at Edward, who merely shook his head, pressing his lips together to suppress his amusement. He wasn't going to tell me.

"She's very sharp, I'll tell you that," he murmured quietly so that Renesmee couldn't hear.

Suddenly, I didn't want to know. "Forget it," I muttered, disappearing to do the laundry.

I heard Renesmee asking, "Did you bring me gum, Alice?"

I groaned when I heard the crinkle of a shopping bag. "I brought you something even better. Rosalie and I picked it out last night. I hope you like it!"

"Wow!" Renesmee gushed. "It's beautiful! Thanks, Alice! Thanks, Rosalie! Wow! Bella, come look!"

With a sigh, I pressed start before moving back into the kitchen. I saw many pink outfits laid out on the counter in front of her. They looked expensive. Designer, no doubt. I frowned. "Alice..."

"Oh, cut it out, Bella," Alice said, pleased as she saw the sparkle in Renesmee's eyes. "It's just a small gift."

"Small?" I repeated, moving to count the number of outfits. "You brought her ten new outfits, plus two parkas. Where are the shoes?" I added sarcastically.

"Oh, I forgot them in the car!" Rosalie said. "I'll be right back!" She disappeared.

I shook my head exasperatedly when she returned and took out five pairs of sparkling shoes. "You're spoiling her."

"She can be spoiled," Alice countered promptly. "Right, Ness?"

"Right!"

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't deny that I was happy because she was happy. I knew that Jasper could tell because he winked at me. Edward, too, smiled at me tentatively, knowing me far too well to believe my exterior attitude.

"Thank you!" Renesmee squealed. "I love them! Thank you!" She tackled the two girls, and they hugged her back, laughing.

I felt a small nudge when I realized that they were all enjoying the time with her. The Cullens, who did not interact with humans. I had been an exception, and now, Renesmee was too. All because she was my everything. They were trying hard to get back into my good books, but I could see that they truly enjoyed being around the little girl as well.

How was I supposed to resent them when they loved Renesmee?

* * *

Emmett and Jasper were teaching Renesmee how to arm wrestle and play chess. I was glad they'd distracted her away from me for a couple hours while I worked on dinner. I needed some time alone to process everything through.

I wanted to resent them. All of them. But I just...couldn't.

"You're cheating!" Renesmee accused suddenly. "You cheated, Emmett!"

"Who, me?" Emmett protested innocently. "You're joking! You can't possibly put that one on me! Jasper's helping you, and that's not fair-"

"Just because you have golden eyes doesn't mean you can fool me!" Renesmee fired back.

I laughed when she stunned Emmett into silence. "Jeez, girl," he said after a moment. "How much do you know? Alright, fine. Here's your knight that I stole. Happy?"

"Marginally," she sniffed.

"Huge vocabulary you've got, young lady," Jasper said.

"Bella's a good tutor. She's smart, you know."

"I know that," Jasper said promptly, making me smile reluctantly. "Move your bishop here."

Renesmee ended up beating Emmett, just because he lost on purpose. But she wasn't dumb enough to fall for it.

"Next time," she announced, "don't lose on purpose!" Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "You won't have to, because I'll beat you!"

Emmett stared at her incredulously while the rest of his siblings laughed. I merely shrugged when he looked at me in disbelief. "You're kidding."

"Are you good at chess, Edward?" Renesmee asked, plopping down next to Edward.

Her eyes were sparkling as she gazed at him. No, it definitely wasn't a crush. It was more like she was the predator, and he was the prey. She wanted information, and she was going to wheedle it out of him.

My eyes turned to Alice when she fought back a giggle. She obviously knew what Renesmee was planning.

"I'm pretty good," Edward allowed, smiling as he played with her curls. I couldn't resist a small smile at how naturally he interacted with her. He didn't hesitate anymore to act himself around her.

"He's a cheater," Emmett corrected. "He cheats so much."

"Really?"

"Of course not," Edward said, shooting his brother a sly look. "I can't help it if I'm better than everyone else."

Renesmee giggled. "Can you go against Emmett and Jasper together and still win?"

"I'm pretty sure I can."

"Oh, you want to place a bit of money where your big mouth is, little brother?" Emmett asked, his eyes narrowing.

Edward raised his eyebrow. "If you're confident enough."

"A hundred?" Jasper chimed in.

"What's wrong with two hundred?" Edward countered, trying to hide his amusement and failing.

"What's wrong with three hundred?" Renesmee giggled.

"What's wrong with five hundred?" I said, before I could stop myself.

All eyes turned to me. Renesmee looked surprised. "You never told me you play chess, Bella."

"Emmett and Jasper taught me a long time ago," I said as I moved to join them on the small coffee table where the chess board lay. "I'm pretty much the only opponent that can beat Edward, since I got much better at it. He can't cheat on me."

I kept a neutral expression on my face when Edward stared at me, a small smile playing around his lips. Alice and Rosalie seemed to be making a bet between the two of them, though I didn't know why Rosalie bothered. Alice was always right.

"Ooh, ooh!" Renesmee squealed. "Play, then!" She turned to Emmett and Jasper, who looked wickedly thoughtful. "You can make bets on who will win!"

"If they'll even play," Rosalie interjected.

Edward and I had a staring contest. I was more than confident that I could win. Finally, he shrugged. "Why not?"

"Awesome," Emmett and Jasper chorused.

Renesmee giggled. "Five hundred dollars? Really?"

"Do you even have that much money, Bella?" Emmett asked, snickering.

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Just have your money ready, Edward."

"Ooh," Emmett said, laughing. "Looks like you lost already, Eddie."

Edward scowled. "Don't call me that." He looked at me. "I won't go easy on you anymore. I know you're not as fragile as you used to be."

I raised my eyebrow as I reset my black pieces. "I don't expect you to."

After fifteen minutes, there were only four pieces that had moved. Alice and Rosalie had moved nearer to get a good look, and Emmett and Jasper were constantly whispering ideas to me, wanting to see their brother lose to the only person he couldn't cheat on.

Edward looked amused and frustrated at the same time. I knew that he was relying on Alice's visions of the future to assist him, which was a form of cheating. When he prevented my strategy by moving his knight, I raised my eyebrow. "Cheater."

Edward shrugged. "It's a part of me, and you can't block that."

"I can't?" I countered smugly. I thrust my shield toward Alice, wrapping it around her.

Edward's eyes widened as he stared at me in shock. "How did you do that?"

"What?" Emmett asked blankly.

I merely inclined my head. "Now, it's fair." I made my move, altering my plan.

"What?" Emmett asked again.

Renesmee looked confused as Edward murmured too quietly for her to hear, "I can't read Alice's mind anymore."

They all looked pretty shocked as they stared at me bemusedly. I ignored them and continued to play. I had failed to mention my mental shield in addition to my gift of knowledge earlier, and I was glad I had. As much as I hated to admit it, it was pretty entertaining to watch Edward struggle with his blindness.

"You're cheating yourself," he told me, moving his queen forward.

"It isn't cheating," I corrected. "It's making it fair."

Alice laughed. "You might as well give up, Edward."

He glanced at his sister, doubtful for the first time. He frowned as he resigned himself to playing legitimately. He did seem surprised at my newly developed skill, and he stepped up his game to match mine.

We started the game at five o'clock and was still playing at seven. I looked up when Steven arrived home, grumbling about nosy teachers. He stopped short when he saw five unexpected guests, all glorious and beautiful.

"You didn't tell me we were going to have guests," Steven said, slowly dropping his briefcase and jacket on a chair.

We were all standing up suddenly, and I grimaced sheepishly. "It slipped my mind. Sorry, Steve."

"Daddy!" Renesmee squealed as she jumped into his arms. "I missed you!"

"Missed you more," Steve said, chuckling as he planted a kiss on her cheek. "So, Bella? You owe me introductions, you know."

"The Cullens," I said, waving toward them halfheartedly. "Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward."

They smiled carefully at him, no doubt wondering how he would handle everything. They looked impressed when Steven merely nodded at them pleasantly. "Nice to meet some of Bella's old friends."

He didn't ask anymore questions as he lowered Renesmee back on the sofa. His gaze fell on the chessboard. "You playing chess?"

"Edward and Bella are playing!" Renesmee informed him. "They're so good! Apparently, Edward cheats a lot, and so he beats everyone, but somehow, he can't cheat on Bella! They've been going on for two hours now."

"Is that so?" Steven mused. "How interesting. I would like to watch, but I'm starving."

"Dinner's all ready," I told him, smiling. "I'll just go cook the steak while you shower-"

"Oh, that's not necessary," Rosalie piped up. "I can cook while you continue."

Steven gawked at her as she moved toward the kitchen gracefully. She paused and looked at me. "Um, that is, of course, if you don't mind, Bella."

I smiled tentatively at her. "Thank you, Rosalie."

She smiled back, relieved, disappearing through the kitchen. Renesmee trailed after her, and Rosalie looked thrilled to have the little girl with her as she answered her question.

Steven shrugged. "Thank you, Rosalie," he muttered, knowing she would hear him. "Well, you two can continue. May the best man win." He began to move toward the stairs before pausing. "Do you have a bet?"

"They do," Emmett said. "Five hundred bucks."

Steven laughed. "Well, good luck. A bet's always fun." He trudged upstairs.

We resumed the game, while Alice chattered away about Steven. "He seems like a really nice guy, Bella. He's so chill."

"He's pretty cool," I agreed, moving my knight to capture Edward's bishop. I glanced up at Edward, who was staring at me. "Your move, Edward."

He looked back down at the board, then chuckled. "I wish I could've backed out now. You were right, Alice."

"When am I ever wrong?" she returned.

Still, he continued to play diligently. There were still quite a few pieces left on the board when Steven came down, his hair damp and smelling like his cucumber shampoo. "Anyone win yet?"

"Not yet," Jasper answered.

"Dinner's ready, Steven," Rosalie called.

"Why don't you join us?" Steven asked politely.

Emmett grinned at him. "No, thank you. Enjoy your dinner, Steven."

Steven smiled as he moved to the dining room, murmuring, "Of course they're Bella's friends. Supernatural..."

"He's sharp," Edward commented. "I can see where Renesmee gets her wits from."

I heard Rosalie cutting the steak for Renesmee while Steven dove right into the meat. She struck up a friendly conversation, surprising me. "I hope we're not intruding in on your evening like this, Steven. If it bothers you, we can leave right away."

"Not at all," he answered. "It's nice to see Bella act her age like that. She should be out hanging around with her friends and dating boys, not taking care of a single father and his kid."

I grew still at his words. He really did worry about me, didn't he?

"You lost, Edward," Jasper told him. "I can see that."

"I can see that too," Edward mumbled. "Don't rub it in my face." He moved his queen forward, then cursed as he realized too late that he'd fallen into my trap.

"Whoo!" Emmett whooped. "Finally! Edward Cullen lost!"

I smirked as I moved my queen to take his queen's place. "Check."

He searched the board quickly, hoping for a way out. All was quiet in the dining room as Steven, Rosalie, and Renesmee listened.

Finally, he gave up. He flicked over his king in surrender. Emmett and Jasper snickered as they high-fived each other. Rosalie muttered, "Oh, well, I guess I lost," from the dining room, and Alice was laughing.

Edward stared at me, unable to hide his fond smile. "You won." He offered me his hand. "Good game, Bella."

The moment my hand met his, I felt that familiar spark of electricity between us. He didn't flinch either when he felt it, his eyes boring into mine.

"Good game," I replied. I stood up to make my way into the dining room. As I passed him, I snapped my shield back into place, letting him read her thoughts once more. "You can give me the five hundred bucks later," I murmured, making him laugh.

"Nice," Steven said, winking at me when he saw me. "It's always refreshing to see the girl kicking the guy's ass."

"Language, Steve," I said, rolling my eyes. I sat down in front of Renesmee. "How's the steak?"

"Good," Renesmee said, munching on the meat happily. "It's juicy."

The rest of the Cullens filed in and took their seats. They looked for signs of distress on the two humans in the room, but Steven and Renesmee were lost in the world of meat.

"I hope we're not disturbing your evening," Edward said suddenly, his voice compelling and velvety. "Alice and I visited Renesmee and Bella yesterday, and we brought the rest of our siblings this afternoon. I hope you don't mind."

Steven couldn't answer because his mouth was so full. But he waved his hand carelessly as he chewed. I hid a smile. He swallowed with difficulty before saying, "No problem. Ness seems to really like you, and Bella doesn't look so lonely anymore."

I looked at him. When have I _ever_ looked lonely when he and Renesmee were around?

"Come over anytime you want," he continued. "If Bella trusts you, I do too. I know Ness is in good hands."

The Cullens smiled. I avoided Edward's intense gaze on me, watching Renesmee chew with all her concentration.

The chess game had lessened the tension between all of us, but I still didn't know if I could trust them with my heart again. Being so sweet to Renesmee and Steven were one thing, but I couldn't hide my anxiety for my own well-being.

Steven insisted that they all stay for a while longer after dinner. The Cullens had tried to leave politely to let him rest, but he'd stubbornly argued that there was nothing more fun than having guests.

"You probably don't even need to study all night doing homework either," he reasoned, causing them to laugh and agree to stay.

When I returned from washing the dishes, I found that Renesmee was in Edward's arms, sleeping like an angel. She was snoring delicately as he hummed my lullaby, swaying back and forth rhythmically. My dead heart melted at the sight.

I couldn't hate him. Not when he obviously cared for her sincerely.

But I had to. He'd left me. He'd made me like this.

I was torn.

Steven was already in the midst of his story about how he and I had first met. The Cullens were listening attentively, not finding his chattering boring at all. I was grateful that they'd accepted my family so readily.

I sat next to Edward reluctantly, the only empty spot. The others had obviously left it empty for a reason. I glanced at Renesmee restlessly, wondering if she was dreaming bad dreams again.

"She's dreaming of butterflies," Edward murmured quietly. "And you."

My eyes met his, and I felt a pleasant chill go through me. I found myself being dazzled by his smoldering topaz eyes for the first time in twenty years. I'd forgotten what it was like...

I cleared my throat and looked away quickly. "Thank you," I said, feeling self-conscious. "I know she had a great time today."

He smiled. "I enjoyed it more than she did. I should thank you for bringing her up so marvelously." He searched my face. "It couldn't have been easy, after...after what I did to you."

I exhaled slowly. "Loving Renesmee is easy for me. Trying to contain my past was harder."

There was a moment of silence between us before he murmured, "I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant anything I said in the forest that day."

I bit my lip as I watched the chessboard in front of me. "I know that now."

"And can you forgive me?"

It was a long moment before I answered truthfully. "I don't know."

"I'll wait," he promised. "I can wait forever if you need me to."

I sighed as I looked at Renesmee's peaceful face. "You really shouldn't. I know I shouldn't forgive you."

He was silent.

"You're all cheating," I murmured. "You know I love Renesmee more than anything. You've played your way into her life, making her love you too. How can I hate you now, when you care for her so much? It isn't an act, how all of you behave toward her."

"She's irresistible," he agreed. "And it's true we've all fallen for her charm."

"It's not fair," I pointed out.

He chuckled quietly. "Yes, I agree it isn't. But I wanted to hate this little girl in my arms when I first heard of her. She played such a huge role in your life, and she was keeping you from me. But I can't hate her. How can I, when she loves you so much?"

The others were listening to our conversation as they listened to Steven simultaneously. They kept Steven interested in their own conversation, keeping him from realizing that Edward and I were carrying on our own. They wanted us to talk about our relationship. We needed to.

"I'll wait, Bella," Edward said, gazing at me. "I can do that. Just as long as I can do that by your side, some place where I can see you as I do so." He sighed softly. "I can't stay away from you anymore."

My heart fluttered at his words, and I hated it. I was supposed to resent him. I was so determined to...

Steven had gotten out another pile of tests. He was correcting them as he spoke to my old family, laughing freely at Emmett and Jasper's bickering. He looked relaxed, not at all agitated by the pale faces that surrounded him.

Renesmee stirred slightly, and she shifted to look at Edward sleepily. "Edward?"

"Yes, Renesmee?" he replied.

She didn't seem to realize that I was right next to her. "Do you love Bella?"

Edward stared down at her, his expression tender. He smiled as he pulled on one of her curls gently. "Is it that obvious?"

Renesmee nodded groggily. "I could see the way you look at her. Why did you leave her?"

My lips parted slightly as I stared at the little girl. There was a painful throb in my chest, threatening to make me cry.

"I left her so she could be human," Edward answered softly. He looked thoughtful, yet hurt to think of all the bad memories. "She deserved someone better than I."

Renesmee didn't question the words he'd chosen. "But it's obvious that she belongs with you. You shouldn't have left."

"Yes," he said. "I know that now."

"She's always so sad," Renesmee murmured, her eyes closing. "Can you make her not sad?"

"I'm trying."

The others' eyes were flickering back to us, so briefly that Steven didn't notice their distraction. He chattered away happily, oblivious to the world around him.

"She still loves you," she mumbled.

"I can't tell," Edward whispered, his expression pained. "Do you really think so?"

I stared at my hands on my lap. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Mm-hm," Renesmee said. "Do you love her a lot?"

Edward looked at me as he answered. I avoided his gaze. "Yes, I love her a lot."

"That's good," she said, her words barely audible. She was half-asleep. "I love her too. Don't hurt her anymore." She resumed her snoring.

My heart was breaking. I wanted to escape, but I couldn't move. This little girl...she was too observant.

My brain was telling me to hate him. Hate all of them for leaving. But my heart was telling me that I couldn't live without him. I was nothing without him.

And I hated that.

Steven let out a huge yawn. He stretched back, his eyes tired.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Alice said, breaking the tension that had filled between all of us with the exception of Steven. "We're keeping you from sleeping. We should leave now."

"No, no!" Steven insisted. "If you don't mind, you can stay. Keep Bella company. She won't need to go out tonight, so she'll probably just be staying home, sulking in her thoughts..."

I smiled minutely, my eyes watery. "Excuse me, Steven. When have I _ever_ sulked?"

He snorted. "Ha! You think I don't know. Well, I know a lot more than you give me credit for. So you can all stay. You haven't seen each other in a long time, so you should catch up. I'm bushed."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Alice asked, smiling. "It's terribly rude, after all."

Steven waved her question away. "You're welcome." He heaved himself up and trudged upstairs. "Get Renesmee upstairs, Bella, so you can all have some privacy."

"Will do," I said, my voice threatening to break. "Good night, Steve."

"Good night," he grunted back. I heard his door close. "Oh, and if you can finish the correcting, I'll be eternally grateful," he added quietly. "It was nice to meet all of you." He fell asleep quickly, within seconds.

I rose, holding out my arms. Edward handed her to me, and I carried her upstairs slowly, wanting to delay the inevitable of facing the Cullens alone.

I laid her down on her bed and brushed her curls away from her face. I stroked her cheek, gently. "Sweet dreams, Nessie."

She turned to face the other side, her lips pouting. Was she kissing Bobby in her sleep?

I secured the blanket around her more tightly before closing the door behind me. I made sure that Steve was comfortable before going back downstairs, where the Cullens had been speaking quietly so that I could not hear.

"Shouldn't you go do your homework?" I asked, hinting that they should leave.

"We're done," Alice said, waving me away. I scowled. "If you don't mind, I'd like to know a bit more in detail about how you've been doing."

I sat down in Steven's place, beginning to correct the tests. "What do you want to know?"

"Where in the world did you find that cute girl?" Emmett fired up immediately. He grinned. "She's a real cutie. She'll break a lot of hearts, that one."

I smiled reluctantly. "I think so too."

"How did you do that?" Edward asked. "During the chess game." His eyes were burning with sincere curiosity, as though he hadn't confessed just minutes before.

I shrugged. "The gift of knowledge isn't my only ability. I have a mental shield that repels all mentally-based gifts. It was why you couldn't read my mind when I was human, and you couldn't read Alice's during the game. I can protect others too."

"Awesome!" Emmett said, his eyes sparkling. "Can you shield me when I wrestle him?"

Edward grimaced. "That's bad luck," he muttered to himself.

"I can see why you care about them so much," Rosalie said. She smiled. "I don't blame you."

"Thank you," I said. "And thank you all for being so patient with both of them. I know they both enjoyed their time with you today."

"We did too," Jasper said, while the others nodded. "Thank you for sharing your family with us, Bella."

I sighed as I finished, placing the pile in Steven's bag once more. "Don't you think you guys should leave now? I'd like some privacy, if you don't mind."

"Of course," Alice agreed immediately. "We should go home and tell Carlisle and Esme about our day. And we'll see you at lunch tomorrow?" she added hopefully.

I was feeling so confused. How could a few hours shake me up so much, when I'd been feeling hatred for twenty years? It was absolutely unfair. I shrugged.

"Do you mind if we come back tomorrow?" Rosalie asked tentatively. "If it won't bother you, of course."

While I hated that they were shaking me up so much, I liked the company. To have people around that I could relate to felt nice. Besides, they made Renesmee happy. "I think I'd like that."

She smiled brilliantly. "Thank you, Bella."

"Great," Emmett said with satisfaction. "Tomorrow, we'll bring our video games and teach Ness how to play."

They all rose, and I followed them to the front door. The others said their goodbyes before racing home, but Edward lingered.

He turned around to face me at the threshold, and I was lost in his eyes again. I stayed frozen as he hesitantly caressed my face lightly with his fingertips.

"I can wait," he repeated. "I'm yours forever."

With difficulty, I managed, "You should go, Edward."

He smiled wistfully. "Good night, Bella."

I watched him disappear into the night. So many things had happened today. And yet, my thoughts were as jumbled as ever. Nothing was ever clear for me, never absolute. It frustrated me.

Why had fate chosen _me_ to be so miserable? If I'd had an easier road to take, I would've taken it. I couldn't forgive Edward, and yet, I felt like I could. Every time he mentioned that he loved me, whether it was directly or indirectly, I wanted to cry.

It wasn't yet time to forgive him, I decided. I would wait. I would watch for signs of him leaving again, before my heart could break again. It had only just mended through spending six years with Steven and Renesmee.

I didn't want to get hurt again.

* * *

**AN: That was a long chapter, huh? What did you think about the whole episode? Leave me lots of reviews and love!**


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